Rex - Nine Weeks Home

Today marks nine weeks home and eleven weeks out of the orphanage for Rex. The last two weeks have been challenging due to Rex’s recuperation from his surgery. We had our follow-up with the plastic surgeon yesterday and he is pleased with the complete closure and healing of the palate. Rex is cleared for crunchy food and toothbrushing. And he won’t need another surgery for at least one year.

On the whole, Rex had an easy recovery. Once we got home, he seemed to experience very little pain and we were able to take him off the Tylenol within five days of the surgery. He was incredibly frustrated with the arm restraints that he was supposed to wear for eight days and only wore for five. He absolutely could not sleep with them on either. Upon regaining his freedom (early) via parental consensus, he was so much happier during the day and went back to sleeping through the night in a few night’s time. Drinking was a struggle for ten days, too. We mostly used a syringe or a spoon to get some liquid into Rex’s mouth. I had already decided that Rex was not going back to drinking from a bottle after this period and was planning to transition him to a sippy cup. However, Rex was watching Craig drink from a glass one evening and insisted on trying it himself which led to his now drinking from a cup. It’s still very messy, but we are excited about the progress.

Unfortunately after our stint at the hospital, Rex has been rejecting me more strongly again. I guess the people who probed and prodded him to his memory were all women, so maybe he transferred whatever he felt about them onto me. Auto-aggression and some raging also reared their ugly heads again as part of a post-surgery regression we had been told to expect. We’re working on it every day, bringing holding time back to the forefront, and slowly but surely I know we can overcome these issues.

One of the most thrilling moments in the last half month has been Rex’s learning to put oversized plastic coins into an oversized piggy bank. His OT had been working on this skill with him in three sessions and from the first I could tell that he understood what was asked of him, but he simply couldn’t do it. Ten days ago I found a piggy bank toy just like what they have at OT at a thrift store and brought it home. I started working with Rex on this task and one day, suddenly, he was able to drop the coins into the slot. We were both so excited and I could tell that Rex was proud as a peach.

In other developmental news, Rex now sits in shopping carts and is happy as long as we are moving even if just a little bit. He seems to say his own versions of hi, bye and no when he feels like it. He’s also able to imitate the intonation of the words that come out of our mouths, so whenever he wants us to open a door for him now, he is required to repeat the intonation of our saying open before we help him. We have discovered that he likes to bounce on the trampoline with us and loves being outside now that it is cooler. Rex has started showing interest in his sand and water table on the deck and many a scoop of sand has been swallowed. Earlier this week I saw him rub the sand on his face like he was doing a spa scrub… gotta love that sensory play! Unfortunately bath time is still the bane of his existence and he knows when it’s coming now and starts screaming preemptively. Rex also enjoys playing in the pantry, exploring what’s on the shelves and fashioning himself toys such as thai noodle bowl rattles and brown rice bag dumbbells.

In the possibly TMI department, a topic that no one has ever mentioned is trying to cut an adoptive toddler’s nails which is a struggle for us. We tried to do it while Rex was aware and it was a total no go. He was like a wild animal being de-clawed. So, we now cut his nails while he sleeps. Fingernails are usually pretty fast, but toe nails are still hard because he must be ticklish and jerks his feet away when I touch them even in his sleep. Haircuts have been a comparative breeze. Rex just lets Craig use a shaver to trim around the back and the sides while he hums along with the noise of the shaver. But now it’s time for the bangs to be cut… hmmm, still trying to figure out how that can be accomplished.

I have to keep reminding myself that Rex has not been out of the orphanage for three months yet. It is a very short time that he has been in our family, a very short time to transition and adjust for a healthy toddler, let alone one with an array of special needs. Rex is doing so well and even though it sometimes feels like we’re going two steps forward and one step back, I know the general trajectory is forward and I am glad and thankful for it.

Final Orphanage Donations - Armenia

I know I am very tardy in posting this entry which holds us accountable for the money we raised for the orphanages and shows all of you, especially those who contributed to our fundraisers, where half of it went in Armenia.

We purchased $200 worth of diapers in-country. They are expensive there, but were too bulky for us to transport in our luggage. We also brought 27 toothbrushes at $18.50 and 7 bottles of children's vitamins at 21.67. In addition, we took the remainder of the kids clothing that had been collected by our friends.

We asked our son's orphanage director to make a wish list in the amount of 300 USD and here's what she requested:

Fortum 20 bottles

Ceftriaxone 20 bottles

Levomekol ointment (10)

Cotton 1 kg

Baktrim 10 bottles

Dexamethasone 10 ampules

We purchased those and some additional antibiotics because we had a little money left of the $300 after filling her order.

In total, between the gifts of the first and second trip, we donated items valued at $695.03 to our son's orphanage. This is just over $12 shy of what would have been exactly half of all the funds we raised ($1415).

We dropped these donations off at the orphanage on a Tuesday afternoon around 2:30. Afterward we went to spend time with Rex and took him outside to the playground. While there, I saw a little boy and a caregiver walk past us and the boy was holding a six pack of toothbrushes that we had just delivered. I cannot tell you how happy it made me to see our donations in the hands of the children and so quickly.

Our gratitude goes out again to everyone who contributed so generously to our fundraisers and helped us make a difference for the children who had to stay behind.

Feeling Tired, Anyone?

Little boys who refuse to take their post-lunch naps, find themselves in this situation at 5:38 pm:

Bulgaria 101

Our friends and neighbors, Mary and Jim, are seasoned international travelers and recently took their first trip to Bulgaria to meet their two precious boys in different regions. Jim wrote an informative blog entry about traveling in Bulgaria which I thought some of you might enjoy.

You can read it here: www.apapasstory.blogspot.com/2011/09/bulgaria-101-for-adoptive-families.html.

Rex Is On FB

Our kid is way ahead of us. He made it onto Facebook today via the Pampers wall:

http://www.facebook.com/pampers?sk=wall

Check it out!

Name That...

Mountain:

Here Rex and I are in Yerevan, looking at this mountain, a holy symbol of Armenia:

Bread (yes, that's bread I am holding):

The first person to name accurately both the mountain and the traditional Armenian bread will receive an authentic Armenian treat in the mail.

Recuperating Rex-Style

Yesterday morning it got eerily quiet in the playroom, so I went and checked on my little guy. Here's what I found. Apparently my child has his own ideas about recovering from surgery.

Rex - Seven Weeks Home

Today marks seven weeks home and nine weeks out of the orphanage for Rex. The main event of these last 14 days has been Rex’s successful palate repair on 9/12. The surgeon did a beautiful job and Rex had a very easy recovery. Rex also had tubes placed into his ears and a hearing test is scheduled for 10/15, so we will finally find out if and/or how much our little guy can hear. Our main concern/struggle now that we are home from the hospital is to keep Rex hydrated on soupy and liquid foods without allowing any utensils into his mouth for ten days as well as to keep him happy wearing arm restraints for a week.

Waking up in PACU:

We are doing lots and lots of sensory activities with Rex, including bouncing on an exercise ball, moving him in a sheet swing (both of which he loves), therapeutic brushing, deep tissue massage, joint compressions, etc. We have also introduced a visual language board which we hope will eventually help Rex communicate his needs to us. For now he is beginning to sign a little bit (this morning he signed music over and over when the songs from his toy stopped) and he has added the word neh (no) to his spoken repertoire that previously only consisted of his Southern hi. We continue to work on fine and gross motor skills as well. Rex now climbs our fourteen stairs on all fours (even in arm restraints); he can push buttons with an isolated index finger or thumb, and he can put a fork loaded with food into his mouth unassisted. It was bad timing for the latter skill as he learned it only a few days before his surgery and now we cannot allow him to self-feed for a while.

Rex loves to play with doors. When a door closes, he needs our help to re-open it, so he comes to where we are, takes our hands and leads us to the door. Then he places our hands directly on the door handle to indicate that he would like it to be opened. He understands very well what needs to be done and I love that he now purposefully seeks out our assistance. He is also using the same method now to ask us to get certain toys for him or to follow routines that he recognizes at home. For example, in the evening when we go upstairs, he indicates to Craig that it’s time for daddy to go into the shower by touching the shower door. Rex is also very determined to reach things on the countertops in the kitchen, so my solution has been to keep the edges clear. Well, he has decided to outsmart me and is now using tools to swipe for things he wants. Also, when he wants to get to objects on the floor from which we are trying to keep him, he sweetly takes our hands and walks us a few steps away, then lets go of our hands and tries to run past us. The little guy definitely has strategies!

We (or I should say Craig) have also discovered that Rex has a heightened sensitivity to light which explains why he was not able to nap in his orphanage room with a southeastern exposure nor in our home which is flooded with natural light. He sleeps great at night, but he just couldn’t keep asleep during the day. In an act of creative parenting, we have set up a little cot for two in our walk-in closet where one of us naps with Rex now every day. It’s pitch black in there and he gets easily a 90 minute nap each afternoon now if not more. Guess who else is happy to get some daily post-lunch rest?

We are all waiting for October 3 to roll around, so we can celebrate sister’s official joining of our family. We are just so excited for her homecoming!

After The Game

The Colts lost yesterday. My guys were clearly distraught by this outcome:

I don't care about football, but I love, love, love seeing them together.

Change Is In The Air

Tomorrow is the day of Rex’s first cleft palate repair. As any parent, I am nervous about him being away from me in surgery and under general anesthesia. I am anxious about his level of pain after the procedure and about how he will recover. But a part of me is also feeling sentimental. Closing Rex’s palate means that we are taking away another little piece of who he is, another tiny bit of his history. I know what we are doing is for the greater good in his life, but my heart still hurts because progress has to come with yet another loss for him.

I will miss Rex’s hazardous food sneezes at mealtimes and I will miss his vigorous digging for leftovers which will be just plain old nose-picking after the surgery. I will miss the way his voice sounds and the constant stream of drool from his mouth. I don’t even remember what it feels like not to have my own shirt drenched in toddler spit all day long. And there’s never been a morning when I have lifted him out of his crib and not found parts of last night’s dinner on the sheet.

I was sharing these feelings with a good friend of mine and she pointed out that American thinking is frequently about fixing things and making them perfect, but that my perspective on the surgery is more along the lines of preserving and making whole the little person entrusted to me. In my eyes, Rex is already perfect. I know he needs this repair and I cannot wait to see what it will do for his development. But I do also grieve this loss from which I cannot protect him and, to some extent, the impending change in this wondrous little creation I am blessed to call my son.

Court Date For Sister

We just got word that court for our adoption of Rex's little sister has been scheduled for October 3. Yippeee! After a journey of almost three years, our family will be home together for the 2011 holidays.

End Of Summer Happenings

Homemade salsa and pesto with goodness from our garden and the farmer's market:

Our nephew Michael’s Schultuete, a German tradition for the first day of first grade handmade by Aunt Bibinan:

Inside a Schueltuete are usually some school supplies and some fun gifts. For the latter, I made Michael this shirt in his school colors with a secret message hidden under the front seam. I told him if he ever feels lonely or scared, all the has to do is look under the seam of his shirt and know that I love him:

Cousins showering us with treats:

Rex's first campfire:

Rex - Five Weeks Home

Yesterday marked five weeks home and seven weeks out of the orphanage for Rex. Oh, how much has happened! First of all, the biggest change is that the rages are gone. He may throw a good tantrum once in a while, but there is no more crazy, auto-aggressive raging. The improvement was brought about by us using a new strategy based on the book Holding Time which I recommend as reading for everyone. We now hold Rex several times a day, sometimes just a few minutes, sometimes closer to an hour. It has made our bond so much stronger and the difference in his outlook overall is so incredible.

We also had a couple of firsts these last two weeks: Rex is beginning to climb the bottom stairs, he occasionally sits in a shopping cart, he can squat without support now, and he stands in the bathtub unassisted and endures the soap and rinse down. Today he climbed onto the couch by himself for the first time. He is also beginning to put things in rather than just take them out. He is trying his hands, literally, at waving and clapping and we think he says hi which sounds very Southern, more like “haaahhh.” We are so thrilled to see him gain new skills. Rex attended his first picnic and his first wedding reception and did well at both. His self-regulating mechanisms are definitely improving.

Rex has also become more picky with his eating. If we'd let him, I think he would live off bread, cheese and yogurt. He also is increasingly rejecting mashed foods and wants to eat solids from our plates. It’ll be hard to keep him fed for two weeks after his surgery as he will have to be basically on soupy liquids. As I mentioned before, Rex is not very interested in fresh fruit, but he will eat it pureed and preferably stirred into another food, such as yogurt or oatmeal. When we first got him, Rex was eating sliced banana because he knew it from the orphanage, but it appears now that he actually doesn’t like it very much or has just had enough of it. He will not even eat the oatmeal with banana chunks anymore. He will not go near fresh watermelon (even though it is an Armenian summer staple) or grapes or diced apples yet.

Rex’s bloodwork from the International Adoption Center has come back and it looks really good. We found out he already had the chicken pox, but has no blood diseases and has never had any. His thyroid function may by a teensy bit low, so they want to re-test just to make sure the reading wasn’t off. He doesn’t have lead poisoning either. He has some great immunizations from Armenia, but will need a few boosters and also some initial shots that are not part of the Armenian immunization schedule. We will take our time and do these immunizations as we see fit. It doesn’t all have to happen in the same day. Unfortunately, Rex’s genetic test results have revealed that he suffers from a rare chromosomal abnormality (about 1 in 20,000 births) which will likely result in pervasive developmental effects on him as well as impact the possibilities for his entire life. We continue to be committed to ensuring his health and happiness as well as to helping him achieve his fullest potential. He is our pride and joy and we were meant for each other.