March 31, 2010

One year ago today, I first laid eyes on our son’s sweet face. I still remember opening that attachment and seeing him: his curly brown hair which is no longer curly, his big brown eyes that continue to be stunning, his little smirk despite the fact that he’d just had surgery. My heart was pounding so fast and I wanted him in my arms right then and there. At the same time a million thoughts raced through my head, everything from how can we start over in a country other than Bulgaria and how can we pay for a second, separate adoption to the bottom line: I want this little boy.

A year has passed since that day and I surely never thought that our son still wouldn’t be home with us. We spent eight months out of the last twelve just waiting because of bureaucratic red tape: eight weeks waiting for our state child abuse clearances to be issued, twelve weeks waiting for our USCIS I-800A approval, and twelve weeks waiting for random extra checks to be performed on our paperwork by our son’s government. And after all of this, a few more months still have to pass before we think this adoption will be final.

When I first saw our son’s photo, he was a baby, tiny and adorable and so helpless. Now he is a toddler who has grown and learned so much. He’s almost walking, he’s stomping his foot when he doesn’t like something, he’s potty-trained. His confidence has increased and he has favorite toys. He eats well and he sleeps well and, like us, he is waiting for our family to be together. I am so thankful that we got to follow his development from afar over the last year with frequent updates, photos and videos from our agency, but I am also incredibly sad we are missing so much time together.

My mother-in-law recently put it very well when she said, “I can tell how much you are pining for him.” Yes, we are, he is our son and we need him home.

IAC 174 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 174 which was held on 02/23/11: 1) Maltese dossier from 2006 referred a child aged 4 years and 1 month, female 2) Italian dossier from 2008 referred a child aged 4 years and 2 months, male, with data on family history - an infectious disease 3) Canadian dossier from 2008 referred a child aged 2 years and 11 months, female, with data on family history - an infectious disease and intellectual deficit 4) Italian dossier from 2008 referred a child aged 4 years and 9 months, male, characteristics in a healthy status - dispensary in connection with bronchial asthma, dermatitis, strabismus, and negative behaviors - aggression 5) German dossier from 2010 referred a waiting child (#1352) with a profile on the MOJ site 6) Italian dossier from 2010 referred two waiting children (#818 & #820) with profiles on the MOJ site 7) U.S. dossier from 2010 referred a waiting child (#1255) with a profile on the MOJ site 8) Canadian dossier from 2010 referred a waiting child (#1198) with a profile on the MOJ site 9) U.S. dossier from 2011 referred a waiting child (#506) with a profile on the MOJ site

Finally Progress

Early this morning, we got an email from our agency letting us know that we have finally received the last remaining adoption approval we needed from our son's birth country. It took nearly 18 weeks to have this step completed; 18 weeks which were emotional torture for us. If you have been there, you know.

Now we can move forward with our adoption here by filing our I-800 as soon as possible. No more delays, please!

Thanks to everyone who supported us through this draining time. Your prayers, caring, and words of encouragement are so very appreciated.

International Women's Day

Having grown up in Eastern Europe under communist/socialist rule, International Women’s Day not only holds fond memories for me, but also carries a certain amount of meaning, so I was excited when the local Bulgarian and Russian groups invited us to their joint party in celebration of March 8.

Since we have been to a number of events with the Bulgarian group now, we knew what to expect. Due to there being many international couples, we encountered the usual variety of nationalities, including, of course, Russian, Bulgarian, and American, but also Irish, Brazilian, German, and Ukrainian. It’s really interesting and eye-opening to speak to people of such diverse cultural backgrounds and get their takes on subjects like the recent disaster in Japan or public education or sibling relationships.

As always, the party was a potluck dinner with a long table laden with main and side dishes and a smaller table loaded with desserts. I made this almond marzipan coffeecake which, in my own strict culinary assessment, was one of the best I ever baked:

And, of course, there were music and dancing. These Eastern Europeans really like to shake a leg and have no inhibitions. It's a lot of fun for me that some of the songs that are played at these parties go way back to my elementary school musical crushes. For example, there’s a German band named Modern Talking (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_Talking). I was head over heels for the singer for a few years as a young girl. I would never be able to request a song by Modern Talking at an American wedding or a similar event, but the Bulgarian DJ knows exactly what I want and plays it for me. And then I dance with a big, goofy smile on my face surrounded by other Europeans who remember when this band topped the Euro charts. I love it!

IAC 173 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 173 which was held on 02/11/11:

1) Cyprus dossier from 2007 referred a child, male, aged 4 years

2) Italian dossier from 2008 referred a child, male, aged 4 years and 4 months

3) Spanish dossier from 2008 referred a male child, aged 5 years and 4 months

4) Italian dossier from 2009 referred a child, male, aged 7 years and 6 months

5) U.S. dossier from 2009 referred a female child, aged 1 year and 5 months, with features in health status

6) Italian dossier from 2010 referred a female child, aged 1 year and 6 months, with features in health status

7) Italian dossier from 2010 referred a waiting child (#426) with a profile on the MOJ site

8) U.S. dossier from 2011 referred a waiting child (#1182) with a profile on the MOJ site

[Of the 401 adopters confirmed with MOJ as of 12/15/10 and registered from 2005 through 2009, 42 have now received referrals. That's 10% in two months (mid-December to mid-February), so if this pace continues, it will take another 20 months to match the rest of these families.]

IAC 172 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 172 which was held on 02/04/11:

1) German dossier from 2006 referred a female child, aged 2 years and 6 months

2) Dutch dossier from 2009 referred a male child, aged 5 years, with features in health status

3) Italian dossier from 2009 referred a child, male, aged 6 years and 5 months

4) Italian dossier from 2010 referred a child, male, aged 8 years

5) U.S. dossier from 2010 referred two children, twins male and female, aged 1 year and 6 months, data on family history and features in health

6) Italian dossier from 2010 referred two children - biological siblings, aged: 2 years and 11 months, 8 years, data on family history

7) U.S. dossier from 2010 referred a female child aged 4 years and 10 months, with features in health status

8) Italian dossier from 2010 referred a child female, aged 10 years and 10 months

9) U.S. dossier from 2010 referred two children, biological brothers, aged: 11 years and 3 months, 9 years and 11 months

10) Swedish dossier from 2011 referred a waiting child (#1251) with a profile on the MOJ site

11) U.S. dossier from 2011 referred two waiting children (#387 & #31) with profiles on the MOJ site

12) Swedish dossier from 2011 referred a waiting child (#1050) with a profile on the MOJ site

13) Swedish dossier from 2011 referred a waiting child (#1145) with a profile on the MOJ site

14) Swedish dossier from 2011 referred a waiting child (#1210) with a profile on the MOJ site

Drowning My Sorrows

I have been drowning my adoption sorrows in the kitchen again, trying out new recipes and experimenting with old favorites. It helps pass the time and temporarily takes my mind off adoption matters.

I recently made an enormous mushroom and bell pepper pizza with lots of garlic and basil on a homemade crust. It was so good that we definitely ate too much that night.

Our three nephews came for a sleepover one Saturday and for breakfast the next day I served them fresh fruit and chocolate chip pancakes. Nothing exciting about the pancakes except that they were (somewhat) heart-shaped and a big hit with the kids.

I tried out a recipe for yogurt honey muffins because I got a great deal on whole milk organic yogurt at the store. They don’t look like much, but they are oh so tender, moist and lemony.

Even though we didn’t feel much like celebrating due to the uncertainties and delays we have been experiencing in our son’s adoption, I baked a special treat for his birthday: a cream cheese and fruit danish. Craig said it tasted better than a favorite Entenmann’s pastry we occasionally enjoy, so I’d call this birthday cake a great success.

He Believes

My nephew Colton is eight months older to the day than our son. This afternoon, while I was getting started on dinner, Colton was hanging around in the kitchen with me. He pointed up to the photo of our son on the fridge and said, "My cousin is coming home. My cousin loves me. He's gonna be here tomorrow."

From his mouth to the ears of government officials in Eastern Europe where we are still no further along in our adoption than we were in mid-November.