Hoping Against The Odds

One year ago today I picked up the phone and after the customary pleasantries heard this simple sentence, “We found something.”  Just three little words, sixteen letters, that transformed my life.  In that surreal moment I began to morph from the mother of a child with correctable special needs into the mother of a child with permanent special needs.   Once my new reality set in, my perspective changed completely and I started hoping for things in a different way. 

I hope someday Rex tells me he hates reading because it would mean he’s learned to read.

I hope someday Rex comes home with a speeding ticket because it would mean he has learned to drive.

I hope someday I can think Rex’s girlfriend all wrong for him because it would mean he is in love.

I hope someday I can worry about how to pay the college tuition because it would mean Rex got accepted.

I hope someday Rex asks for help with the rent because it would mean he has moved out.

I hope someday Rex and I have a pointless discussion because it would mean he has learned to speak.

I hope someday to stop frequently for bathroom breaks because it would mean Rex is potty-trained.

I hope someday Rex will break his curfew because it would mean he’s out with his friends, having fun.

I hope someday to wish I could visit my grandkids more often because it would mean Rex is a dad.

I hope someday to see a stunned look of disbelief on the faces of so many doctors and specialists because it would mean Rex has blown their expectations out of the water.

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune - without the words,

And never stops at all.

Emily Dickinson

IAC 229 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 229 which was held on July 25, 2012:

1) Italian dossier from July 2009 referred a female child aged 2 years and 11 months

2) Norwegian dossier from July 2009 referred a female child aged 3 years and 9 months

3) Italian dossier from August 2009 referred a waiting child (#1843) with a profile on the MOJ site

4) German dossier from August 2009 referred a female child aged 5 years and 5 months with features in health status

5) Spanish dossier from October 2009 referred a male child aged 6 years

6) Dutch dossier from September 2010 referred a female child aged 4 years and 7 months with features in health status

7) US dossier from March 2011 referred a female child aged 4 years and 1 month with features in health status

8) Italian dossier from July 2011 referred a female child aged 9 years and 2 months

9) US dossier from July 2012 referred brothers aged 10 years and 3 months & 9 years and 1 month

10) US dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1353) with a profile on the MOJ site

11) US dossier from July 2012 referred two waiting children  (#1277 & #1654) with profiles on the MOJ site

12) Italian dossier from July 2012 referred a male child aged 9 years and 3 months

13) Italian dossier from July 2012 referred a female child aged 10 years and 6 months

14) Italian dossier from July 2012 referred a male child aged 9 years

15) Italian dossier from July 2012 referred a female child aged 10 years

16) US dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1782) with a profile on the MOJ site

17) Italian dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1361) with a profile on the MOJ site

18) US dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1056) with a profile on the MOJ site

19) French dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1577) with a profile on the MOJ site

20) US dossier from July 2012 referred two waiting children (#1814 & #1815) with profiles on the MOJ site

Herbs For Sale

Anyone local who would like to stop by for some fresh herbs, please do.  I am selling mixed bunches of two kinds of basil, sage and rosemary for $5.  They'll be cut right when you come and can go directly from my garden to your kitchen.  All the proceeds will be seed money for a grant for a little girl with special needs in Armenia who has been waiting for her family for eight years.

Those who are not local, but would still like to help, please stay tuned.  I am going to be selling organic seeds that I have been taking from my garden this season via this blog very soon.

Spread the word!

The Latest On Rex

This is Rex’s last week at home before he starts preschool on Tuesday.  He will be there from 8:00 am to 3:00 pm each day for the official program and then in after-care 4 out of 5 days a week until Craig can pick him up on his way home from work.  While we are getting ready for the big transition, Rex continues to make developmental progress.  Sometimes it blows me away when I think about what he was like a year ago and where he is now.

Rex has learned to wave hi and bye.  Funny examples of this new social skill: I was on the phone with my mom one day and Rex climbed into my lap.  I asked him, "Say hi to Oma," and he waved at the phone.  He has also started walking his Ms. Rie to the door, holding her hand, at the end of his sessions and then waving after her.  It's so sweet.  

As I blogged last week, Rex has figured out how to spin a top and stack pegs the right way.  He now responds accurately to the receptive command “clap” and he imitates arms up and touch belly. He has learned how to sit in a strap swing and hold on while someone pushes him and he’s starting to be able to make some very rudimentary verbal imitations.  He now has a total of 15 signs, including personalized but consistent versions of ball, sandwich, and open.  Rex has also invented a game of peekaboo hide and seek where he hides under the grill cover or couch blanket and Craig has to find him with much fanfare.  When Craig finally lifts the cover, Rex giggles like crazy, sometimes even before when daddy is still searching.   We are in process of teaching him a sign for hide and Rex is just beginning to use it independently. And oh yeah, he’s figured out how to open child proof caps on medications (I always say they shouldn’t call it child-proof until Rex has tested it).  It would be nice now if he could just get into the habit of putting in his own eye drops twice a week, too.

Rex has had to handle a lot of changes in recent weeks from attending day camp to saying good-bye to two of our wonderful therapists, Ms. Kristen and Ms. Tara. Kristen had been working with Rex since his first month home and Tara joined his team in October.  Both helped him so much in acquiring new skills over the last year.

Rex working with Ms. Kristen

Thank You card Rex made for Ms. Tara

I know there are transitions still ahead in the coming weeks, but I believe that our son will cope to the best of his ability and rise to his fullest potential.  He has already exceeded what some doctors thought possible for him and I know he will continue to do so.

IAC 228 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 228 which was held on July 17, 2012:

1) Italian dossier from July 2009 referred female twins, aged 5 years

2) Dutch dossier from September 2009 referred a male child aged 5 years and 2 months

3) Italian dossier from October 2009 referred a male child aged 5 years and 11 months

4) Italian dossier from June 2010 referred a male child aged 7 years and 3 months

5) French dossier from August 2010 referred a female child aged 10 years and 2 months

6) Italian dossier from December 2010 referred a male child aged 7 years

7) US dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1624) with a profile on the MOJ site

8) Italian dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1684) with a profile on the MOJ site

9) US dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1066) with a profile on the MOJ site

My Week In Review

The garden at its summer height:

I started sorting fall clothes by making the kids try on some items from last year that I had kept in case they'd still fit. I am not having much luck with Emilia's stuff as she has grown a good bit. Here she is trying on a pair of pants that we had to take in at the waist last year.  Now they're capris and don't button:

 Celebrated my birthday:

Summer Sunday dinner - BLTs with homegrown tomatoes, watermelon and corn from the local farmer, homemade pickles and freshly baked hazelnut butter cake.  So delicious:

Cousins at play.  Love seeing the teen and the tot together:

Top Notch Kid

Yesterday morning Rex figured out how to spin a top.  We hadn't had this toy out in a long while and when I handed it to him again after that period, he almost instantly knew how to work it.  I remember a time when he wouldn't have had a clue what to do with it and also a time when he could rotate the top between his fingers but not let go.

Today I captured this little video of Rex, mostly for his Oma who gave him the top as a present and his OT who will be excited to see the fine motor progress.  By the look on Rex's face, this new skill is already an old hat.  Nonetheless, he's my top notch kid, learning all the time.

IAC 227 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 227 which was held on July 10, 2012:

1) Italian dossier from September 2009 referred a female child aged 6 years and 4 months

2) Spanish dossier from January 2011 referred a waiting child (#1704) with a profile on the MOJ site

3) French dossier from March 2011 referred a male child aged 7 years and 8 months with a family history

4) Italian dossier from June 2011 referred a waiting child (#1638) with a profile on the MOJ site

5) Swedish dossier from November 2011 referred a waiting child (#991) with a profile on the MOJ site

6) Italian dossier from November 2011 referred a male child aged 8 years and 6 months

7) US dossier from November 2011 referred a brother and sister, aged 3 years and 5 months and 2 years and 3 months, with features in health status

8) US dossier from March 2012 referred a waiting child (#1157) with a profile on the MOJ site

9) Italian dossier from June 2012 referred a waiting child (#1617) with a profile on the MOJ site

10) US dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (# 1534) with a profile on the MOJ site

11) US dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1673) with a profile on the MOJ site

12) US dossier from July 2012 referred two waiting children (#357 & #3) with profiles on the MOJ site

13) US dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1671) with a profile on the MOJ site

14) US dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1728) with a profile on the MOJ site

Snickerdoodles

It may come as a surprise, but for someone who experiments in her kitchen as much as I do, I had never made snickerdoodles.  A few days ago, I finally baked my first ever batch as a treat for good friends who had a very rough start to their week.

The cookies turned out great and even Rex gave his stamp of approval by eating two.  And trust me, Rex is not a sweets person and has been known to turn down a cookie, so this is high praise from my little guy.

Picture Of The Day

My Guys

Summer Camp 2012

As of Friday, Rex has completed two weeks of day camp at his preschool. We were using camp as a transition to get him familiar with the classroom, the approximate daily routines, the teacher-therapists, the pools, the playgrounds, and the other kids.  He really did very well while at camp and had some wonderful opportunities for learning.  Outside of the daily swims and crafts and circle times, a visit from the zoo with animals allowed Rex to pet a colorful bird.  He was able to touch a real life digger and a snow plow.  And he met his first fireman, too.

As a mother, it felt quite surreal to me to be opening up my son’s backpack at night and pulling out little projects and teacher’s notes.  These were the first ever:

Even though Rex handled his time at camp very well, we did see him struggle with processing the changes at home.  As we expected, there have been some behavioral regressions in regard to throwing tantrums and auto-aggression.  Fortunately, it’s all been very manageable, but it’s still tough to see your child go back to something you thought he had overcome.  We are confident that once Rex finds his new groove in the school year, he will not feel the need for his old familiar patterns of handling frustrations, anger, anxiety, and overstimulation anymore.

Rex has also been very clingy to Craig and needed much physical and verbal reassurance from us, so we have been cuddling for hours and talking about families and home and how we will always be together.  We have repeated many times over that Rex is our son forever and that we love him and that we will always come back for him.  We have also allowed Rex to sleep in our bed for a few nights again which seemed to help a lot.  Once we decided to do so, we saw an immediate difference in his morning mood and cooperation with getting ready for camp.  As the camp days went on, Rex also came home with a better attitude and less need for sensory regulation.  He is truly a resilient child and quite adaptable.  My baby boy is growing up.

Now we have two more weeks at home before the start of school on September 4.

Emilia - Thirty-Nine Weeks Home

Today marks thirty-nine weeks home for Emilia.

Let’s start with the heart because a few days ago we had Emilia's big cardiology appointment.  The echo revealed that while her VSD is very small, it is impacting her aortic valve, causing a tiny leak.  At the moment, this is trivial and does not require any treatment, but she will eventually have to have a one-time surgery to correct the problem.  Until that time comes (when the leak gets to a mild/moderate stage), Emilia has no restrictions and needs no meds, but she has to be monitored every six months.

While Emilia was under anesthesia for the echo, we also had an ABR hearing test administered. Since she is not speaking, many doctors and service providers have been pressuring us for this test.  I knew her hearing was fine, but this was a great opportunity to be certain.  Sure enough, Emilia's ears work perfectly and her brain stem is receiving auditory signals in a clear and organized fashion, so she passed the ABR with flying colors.  The audiologist told us that she cannot discern with the ABR what happens to the auditory signals once they move past the brain stem.  Those kinds of things can only be tested when a child has attained some level of language.  The audiologist did make an interesting observation though. She asked us how long Emilia has been home and we told her nine months.  She then said, "Well, her orphanage background might mean that she had little to no input for speech development for the first two years of her life. So, right now, she is like a 9 months old when it comes to speech.  She's babbling, imitating some sounds, listening, responding to noises, blowing raspberries, etc.  That's all normal for a 9 mo old.  A one year old will say about 3-4 words, so I expect you will see that soon unless she has some kind of auditory processing disorder."  Fingers crossed she’s right on this one.

Emilia has enjoyed some one on one time with me while Rex has been at summer day camp (more on that soon).  She did miss Rex a lot on those first days home without him, but adjusted quickly.  That said, she gets very excited when her big brother gets back in the afternoons.  Since Emilia and I have had more time, we have been working on inset puzzles, shape sorters, reading books and verbalizations.  It’s slow going, but she is not quite as resistant to it all as she used to be.

In recent weeks Emilia has finally started finger-feeding.  For now, she seems to be limiting herself to a variety of crackers and shortbread for this undertaking.  Last night I offered her some pizza crust and while she clearly wanted to taste it, she did not want to touch it, so sensory issues are playing into her finger-feeding progress as well.

As always, our little girl is so happy and marching to the beat of her own drummer.  One of the meanings for the name Emilia is “industrious” and I recently told Craig that we chose well.  Emilia is like a tiny ant, always on the move, always after something, always looking, carrying, exploring, laboring over her own small endeavors.  She is, as her name and middle name attest, our industrious pearl.

Singin' In The Rain

Okay, so they weren't singing, but Rex and Emilia did have a great time playing in the rain in Evanston, Illinois.  They both have such a zest for life.

XXX Olympiad

Even though Craig and I grew up half a world apart under totally different regimes and world views, both of us have loved the Olympics since childhood.  So, it should come as no surprise that we watched the Games over the last two weeks and were especially excited to be able to cheer for four countries now.

Armenia at the Opening Ceremony.
They earned three medals.
One went to a female weightlifter,
the others to male wrestlers.

Bulgaria at the Opening Ceremony.
They earned two medals
which went to a male boxer
and a female wrestler.

Germany at the Opening Ceremony.
Their outfits always embarrass me on behalf of my country,
so I am using this photo.
They earned 44 medals.

The USA at the Opening Ceremony.
They earned 104 medals.

I was surprised that both of our children watched some of the Olympic coverage as well.  They seemed to especially enjoy the water sports which Craig and I do, too.  Hey, we're raising the next generation of Olympics fans. Sochi 2014, here we come!

Garden Bounty

This year has been really dry and super hot here in Ohio as about everywhere else in the US.  Therefore, my little suburban garden has not performed the same as in other years.  Usually I harvest about 200-300 tomatoes, but so far this season I am up to only around 50.  It's still plenty to eat day to day and oh so delicious.

The herbs and cucumbers, on the other hand, are doing great.  I normally I don't get but a half dozen cucumbers or so, but this summer I have already had three times that many.  The Armenian cucumbers in particular are prolific and they grow large fast.  I have figured out that I can use them like zucchini in baking, so I am going to puree and freeze some Armenian cucumbers to use that way in the winter.

Close friends of hours who live about 90 minutes north of us are having a terrific tomato harvest this year and were kind enough to share a big bag of their bounty with us.  Due to their generosity, I was able to can some salsa last Saturday.

Salsa ingredients

 I did it the lazy way and just ran the onion, garlic, cilantro, jalapenos and bell pepper through the blender.

Then diced the tomatoes and added the salsa mix.

 Then stirred it all together.

I usually let my mixtures sit a little before I boil them.

Voila, salsa. It turned out quite a bit hotter than I anticipated, so we may have to get creative in how to use it over the winter.

We've also been enjoying simple summer dinners like pasta tossed with olive oil and homegrown basil, garlic, and cherry tomatoes.

I feel so fortunate that my parents and grandparents kept large kitchen gardens.  Even though I didn't help that much, I still learned how to appreciate, grow and preserve vegetables and herbs.  I hope I can pass this knowledge and passion on to my children in years to come.

IAC 227

Just FYI for those of you who visit my blog to see referrals issued by the Bulgarian government, MOJ has published the results from IAC 227. However, the link does not work at the moment.  As soon as it does, I will translate and publish the information here.

Emilia - Thirty-Seven Weeks Home

Again, I am super late, but last Saturday marked thirty-seven weeks home for Emilia.

Emilia has been a very happy girl and is easy-going and cuddly except when it comes to food.  She’s keen on not missing any meals and climbs into her high chair unassisted when it’s time to eat.  She also says, “eee” pretty emphatically just to make sure we get her point.  Emilia continues to try out new foods and has enjoyed peaches, mango, kiwi, polenta, humus, and potato wedges.  She also loves smoothies of any kind.  One evening she insisted on having cow milk yogurt for dessert just like her big brother and the next day we knew that she’s still allergic to dairy as proven by several poopy blow-outs.

In recent weeks, Emilia has been babbling more and she is trying to say Mama.  Sometimes it comes out crystal clear and sometimes it sounds like mbwa-mbwa or some form thereof.  She had her speech evaluation and her skills are scattered anywhere from a 9 months to an 18 months level.  No surprise there.  I am waiting now for the therapy referral to go through, so we can schedule her sessions and then pick her preschool days.  It seems like we’re always waiting on something from CCHMC.  Her receptive language is growing though and she understands instructions like sit down, get down, shake, etc. now.

Life’s been pretty busy, so Emilia has kind of had a free pass regarding her motor skill development.  Her big brother continues to be her hero and role model for various activities though.  If Rex bangs a toy against the window or shakes the tambourine, Emilia is right in line behind him to try it herself.  She’s got a gymnast’s spirit and is climbing all the time as well as trying to balance on things.

I don’t know if I ever mentioned this, but when Emilia’s iron levels were re-tested in June, they were normal.  The IA doctor suggested having them checked about once a year by the pediatrician along with her thyroid which is still minimally off.  This may just be normal for her, but it’s something to keep an eye on.

Emilia continues to grow and is now wearing 18 months pajamas very comfortably.  We can totally tell that she is catching up to Rex in height and I wouldn’t be surprised if she turned out to be the taller sibling one day.  I’ll give you an updated height and weight measurement next week after her echo and ABR.

Emilia has discovered the fun of mirrors
This one's at Rex's OT room.

And this one in our hotel room.
Perfect height for her.

Recently Emilia has become very interested in other children.  She made new friends at the beach on Lake Michigan as well as at the playground.  She and another little boy played together with sticks for quite a while.  That said, Rex is 100% Emilia’s best friend.  She is nearly always by his side at home and sticks close to him in public situations as well.  She truly finds him incredibly entertaining.  I know she is going to miss him so much when he starts preschool and will be gone all day.  The good thing is that she will be in preschool herself two days a week, beginning sometime in September and then I’ll be the lonely one at home missing my babies.

Emilia is a very sunny, if opinionated child.  It’s so easy to make her laugh and she is more than generous with her affections.  We just love her to pieces.

Bulgarian Reunion

I know I am woefully late in writing about the wonderful reunion of families who adopted from Bulgaria that we attended at the end of June.  The truth is I don't have time to finish all the blog posts I have started over the summer, including this one, so I am just going to let you read what my friend and co-organizer Yvonne had to say about the event.  She did a great job summing it all up.

However, I did want to share with you one of my favorite memories from the weekend.  While I was pretty busy running some icebreaker activities for the children, my little Emilia decided that she wanted to turn herself into swamp girl in the delicious mud puddle the bigger kids had created by filling up water balloons at the potable water pump.

Here she is just getting started with all the fun:

Photo credit Stephanie Boyd

Trying to decide if her master piece mud work is finished... not quite yet, methinks.

Photo credit Stephanie Boyd

I remember that a number of parents had approached me to let me know Emilia was playing in the mud and I just kind of shrugged it off.  I didn't expect to find this when I finally decided to check on her:

There was no way I could be mad at her. She had such a great time playing and exploring a new medium that I just decided to let her keep going until she was ready to be finished.

My eternal gratitude goes to the world's best husband and daddy, Craig, for taking this cute mess into the bath tub to get her squeaky clean again, no questions asked.

We're looking forward to seeing everyone at next year's reunion, same time, same place.  If you want to join us, keep an eye on our reunion blog for info and updates:
http://bulgarianadopteesreunion.blogspot.com/.

Armenian Reunion 2012

This weekend we took our last big trip of the summer and went to Chicago to attend a reunion of families who have adopted from Armenia.  It was a smaller event, maybe with a dozen families, but we had a great time.  The meet & greet on Friday evening included a bounce house which both of my kiddos really enjoyed.  I was so proud of them for climbing in and out almost with no assistance and handling all the sensory fun a bounce house provides.

On Saturday morning, we went to Lighthouse Beach on Lake Michigan.  We got lost on the way there (we were walking from the hotel) and got to see more of the picturesque campus of Northwestern University than we had planned.  This was the kids' first time to the beach, so I wasn't sure how it would turn out.  After some initial uncertainty both Rex and Emilia decided that they liked the water and the waves.  The water was 78 degrees which is downright balmy for early August and we had some nice sunshine to keep us comfortable.

Emilia was very interested in a couple of beach volleyball games in progress and just plopped herself into the sand to watch for a long time.

After the beach we headed back to the hotel for much needed naps and then joined the group for a delicious Armenian dinner at a local park.  When we arrived there, it was pouring rain, but none of the kids let that stop them from playing and having lots of fun.  The sun came back out soon enough to end our evening on a high note.

Even though it seemed like the weekend was over in the blink of an eye, we had a wonderful time in Chicago and were so happy to connect with other families who have adopted from Armenia, many of them even from the same orphanage as us.  What a treat to be able to keep our children's heritage alive by getting together for gatherings like this reunion.

Here's The Scoop

Sometime back in the spring, I think it was April or May, I decided that Rex should enter preschool with some decent feeding skills.  So I set a goal for him and me that he would be able to drink from an open cup unassisted as well as eat from a fork and from a spoon on his own by the start of preschool.

Rex learned drinking from an open cup very quickly once we pushed the skill.  It took a while until we didn’t have any more spills and drips, but he’s a pro now.  He’s even starting to put the cup back onto the counter by himself when he is finished.  The next thing Rex accomplished with a lot of practice was using a fork for food that was already bite-sized.  He’s quite good at it at this point. However, the scooping with a spoon seemed to elude him.  We have been working on it with him as have some of his therapists, but he just wasn’t willing or able.  In recent weeks though, there’s suddenly been some progress.  Rex was at least attempting to scoop smooth foods like yogurt without help.  And then today at lunch, he decided to go for something trickier: spaghettios (I know, I know) and homemade extra-garlicky meatballs.  And voila, he did it!

What a super boy who's meeting Mama's goals just in the nick of time.