Leap Day Q&A - Part 2

Maria asked: What are the best and worst parts about being a new mother? I am honestly more interested in the worst parts side of it because I feel like everyone is always very open about the best parts but is too ashamed to ever mention any bad aspects of motherhood.

Since you really want to know about the worst parts and because my blog often focuses on the best parts, I will try to be honest about the things that have been difficult for me in my seven months of motherhood.

A messy house. Seriously, I hate my messy house, but I am currently fighting a losing battle against two toddlers. I am a very organized and clean person by nature and looking around our home these days makes me cringe sometimes. There are handprints of an unidentified nature on my living room wall right now, my carpet is disgusting, and I just spent two days re-emerging a countertop in the kitchen that had been piled sky-high with stuff. Of course, I expected to have to do more laundry and more cooking etc. when we added two kids and I am not complaining a bit about those things, but I was not prepared for how crazy it would make me feel to have toys everywhere all day long and to constantly step/touch on weird sticky spots on all surfaces and to find chocolate spit-up in my throw-pillows. I know there are moms who manage to keep a super clean home with shiny kids in it, but that’s just not me right now. No more pretenses: if you come to visit me, you’re in the war zone, fend for yourself.

The lack of time for myself. Before I had kids I had some hobbies. I was an avid reader, I did a variety of crafts, I loved to decorate and garden. Now I am sad to admit that most of my reading occurs in the bathroom and it’s usually just magazine snippets. I haven’t done any crafts, we didn’t even have a Christmas tree last year, and it remains to be seen what happens to gardening. I felt hopeful one day and bought seeds for this season. These hobbies were relaxing to me, too, and there isn’t much relaxing to be had these days. Reading is what I miss most of all, but I am glad that I find time here and there to keep up my love of writing through this blog.

Dealing with the health care industry. I knew when we adopted our children that they came with some special needs, but I definitely had no idea how severe some of them would be. I spend a good portion of my days managing the kids’ healthcare and it’s like a part time job… a frustrating one. Scheduling appointments with rude staff, dealing with billing departments that think I have nothing better to do than call again in a few days, waiting for months to get results and approvals, faxing copies of documents to dozens of entities… I could go on. The bright side is is that motherhood for most moms does not include this aspect or at least not to this extent. Count your blessings.

Unpredictability and slowness. I used to be an extremely efficient, well-organized, planning person. Now with kids, my efficiency is quite decreased because everything takes three times as long. I might just be getting started on cleaning a toilet when I hear Rex removing yet another heating vent cover which means the vent itself might be made to swallow anything in his reach. So, I have to drop the toilet brush and go check. By the time the vent crisis is averted, I have forgotten that I’d started to clean a toilet and won’t remember until the next time I set foot into the bathroom again at which point I will probably finish the job. Efficiency equals failsauce in this case, as our friends would say. As for unpredictability, I think I am doing pretty well giving up my planning ways. I still try to have a general idea of what happens from week to week and I attempt to plan ahead for family gatherings etc., but I always know that something might go wrong with the kids and that whatever I had on the schedule may have to be adjusted or scrapped entirely. I thank those friends and family members who have been understanding about unpredictability and slowness.

Mommy brain. I swear I am losing brain function as a mother. My synapses are shooting slower or maybe not at all. It takes me longer to add up the price of two boxes of cereal or divide a recipe in half than ever before. My mind feels so sluggish sometimes, I can’t stand it. I have literally paused in front of Craig, vigorously scratching my head (read desperately pulling up on the roots of my hair) trying to remember the second half of the sentence I was just saying to him. I used to be sharp, but mommy brain is doing me in.

Patience. I don’t have much of it. Never did, but it’s possible that some day I will because my kids are stretching my patience to the max. Feeding Emilia a tiny bowl of gritty food can take 30 minutes and Rex may have been told a dozen times to leave the bathroom drawers alone and still decide to rip them all out (this is why we currently don’t have bathroom drawers). There have been times when I have just had to walk away for a few minutes in order to not wring my kids’ necks. There have been days where I have simply surrendered to the chaos by lying down on the carpet and letting the kids have their way with me and the rest of our home. Finding patience, gaining patience, learning patience… it’s been a huge challenge.

No thanks. This endless work of mothering has no thanks at this time. I do and do and do… and it simply is. No one knows or notices the struggles or perils of my day. There’s no applause and no accolades. The reward is in the journey itself and in the two little people in progress… or at least so I am told.

As for the best parts of motherhood, just look at my kids. Need I say more? They are joyous, they are active, they challenge me, they teach me, they are survivors. It brings tears to my eyes when Craig walks into the door at night and both my little ones run into his arms, one proclaiming, “dada, dada, dada” loudly. I love watching them learn and I take pride in their accomplishments. I am happy to see them grow. I love caressing their soft chubby cheeks and tousling their hair. Their laughter is pure bliss, their smiles melt my heart, and I feel peace when I hear their smooth, deep breaths at night. Rex and Emilia are simply amazing little people entrusted to me as their mother. I would not want them under anyone’s wing but mine.

Do I enjoy every single minute of motherhood as is so often the advice from others? No, I don’t, but I do cherish the moments that make it all so very worth it. Maybe I will have a t-shirt made for myself: Motherhood – It’s Complicated!

Leap Day Q&A - Part 1

Amanda asked: Hi Viviane, I am in the process of adopting and was interested in knowing about the therapies your son is receiving. How did you get the referrals? Is it through early intervention programs or private? If private, does your insurance cover any costs? We want the best for our child, but know that therapy is expensive and I don't know how we could swing it without insurance!

This is a good question and I should start answering it by saying that I am thankful every day for the great medical insurance we have through my husband’s employer. When we adopted Rex, we did not anticipate that he would have permanent disabilities and could not have imagined how incredibly important this fantastic health insurance would become to our family.

At the moment Rex is receiving two kinds of private therapy: OT through our local children’s hospital and ABA in-home through a private team I have assembled. Our therapy co-pay for a maximum of 60 visits annually at in-network providers is $15 each and the rest is covered by insurance. We have been paying for the ABA out of pocket since October (around $1000/month), but fortunately when Rex turns three, he will qualify for a large special needs scholarship in our state which will cover his ABA therapy costs through the summer and then pay for the majority of his special needs preschool fees in the 2012-13 school year.

Rex also received referrals for PT and ST. These referrals (OT, PT, ST) were made by our local International Adoption Clinic, but you could also get them from your pediatrician or other medical specialists. We tried ST for a while, private through our children’s hospital, but we didn’t feel that it was benefitting Rex yet and we simply cannot squeeze PT into our family schedule right now. When Rex does start preschool, he will have weekly OT, PT, and ST there.

As soon as Rex came home, we signed him up for early intervention in our state. They do not provide therapy, but do connect families to local resources, monitor the child’s progress, and bring in therapists from time to time to advise and teach the parents. The program has been most valuable to me in terms of helping me figure out some long term options. For example, we have signed Rex up for all available state waivers which means we have joined long wait lists to receive cash and other assistance. It will be years before Rex’s number is up, but when Rex is much older and his care might be more complicated, we will have those waivers in place and will be able to access them. Early intervention has also connected me with a Family Support Program which is income based. It offers families in our state funds to pay for things like respite care, therapy equipment for the home, prescribed special diets, etc. Through this program I am able to have a few hours of respite a week and have also purchased some therapy items, like a cuddle swing, for Rex to use at home.

With Rex’s impending third birthday, he is aging out of our state’s early intervention program. Therefore, with our consent, his case has been transferred into our local school district where an IEP has been completed for him. This IEP specifies goals and objectives for Rex for the next year. It also guarantees Rex access to our district’s preschool and PT, OT, and ST provided for free by the district based on their evaluation of his needs. However, we are not going to use these services from our district. Instead, we are opting for the special needs scholarship to send Rex to a private, specialized preschool. The scholarship money comes out of our district’s budget and paying it absolves them of any responsibility for Rex’s education beyond the annual writing of the IEP and the quarterly progress monitoring.

The best thing to do is to learn as much as you can about your local options before your child comes home. Have some discussions with doctors or therapists you might know, talk to parents who have kiddos with special needs, explore daycare options, see what your local school district offers and what alternatives there are. Find out coverage for services from your health insurance. Google and call and don’t feel stupid to ask a lot of questions.

IAC 209 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 209 which was held on 01/31/12:

1) Greek dossier from November 2006 referred a female child aged 1 year and 5 months

2) U.S. dossier from December 2008 referred a female child aged 2 years and 1 month with features in health status

3) German dossier from January 2009 referred a female child aged 2 years and 5 months with features in health status

4) French dossier from August 2009 referred a male child aged 4 years and 8 months with features in health status

5) Norwegian dossier from December 2009 referred a male child aged 3 years and 2 months with features in health status

6) French dossier from July 2010 referred a female child aged 8 years

7) Italian dossier from December 2010 referred a male child aged 5 years and 8 months with a family history

8) U.S. dossier from July 2011 referred a male child aged 1 year and 4 months with congenital absence of upper limbs and features in health status

9) Italian dossier from December 2011 referred two children, male and female, aged 5 years and 5 months and 4 years and 4 months, with features in health status

10) Italian dossier from January 2012 referred a female child aged 10 years and 8 months

11) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred a waiting child (#1283) with a profile on the MOJ site

Leap Day Q&A

Since 30 Rock informed me last week that, "Real life is for March... nothing on leap day counts," I thought I would open myself up to a little Q&A from my readers. So, if you have any questions, this is your chance. Ask me today and I will answer tomorrow. And if I don't get any questions, that's okay, too, because nothing on leap day counts, right?

IAC 208 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 208 which was held on 01/24/12:

1) French dossier from February 2009 referred a female child, aged 4 years and 11 months

2) Italian dossier from April 2009 referred a male child aged 5 years and 7 months

3) French dossier from April 2009 referred a female child aged 5 years and 11 months with features in health status

4) Italian dossier from August 2009 referred a male child aged 5 years and 10 months with features in the NDP and behavior

5) Danish dossier from November 2009 referred a male child aged 1 year and 11 months with features in health status, performed surgery

6) U.S. dossier from March 2010 referred a male child aged 2 years and 2 months with features in health status and family history

7) French dossier from August 2010 referred a male child, aged 10 years with features in the NDP

8) Italian dossier from January 2010 referred a male child aged 8 years and 8 months

9) Italian dossier from August 2011 referred a female child aged 7 years and 10 months with a family history

10) Italian dossier from November 2011 referred a female child aged 8 years and 3 months with a family history

11) Italian dossier from November 2011 referred a male child aged 9 years and 3 months with peculiarities in the intellectual development

12) Italian dossier from December 2011 referred a male child aged 9 years

13) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred three waiting children (#1387 & #1329 & #1133) with profiles on the MOJ site

14) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred two waiting children (#624 & #632) with profiles on the MOJ site

15) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred two waiting children (#1606 & #1607) with profiles on the MOJ site

Help For The Least Of These in Pleven

I have written on my blog about the baby house in Pleven and the horrendous conditions there a number of times. Recently, a fund has been established through the Eli Project to help cover medical care expenses for some of the most neglected, weakest, sickest children there. They will be treated at Tokuda Hospital in Sofia. MOJ and the Bulgarian Child Protection Agency are aware of and on board with this project.

If you would like to learn more, please visit this blog:

http://www.only1mom.com/2012/02/help-provide-medical-care-to-orphans.html

I have also added the chip in on the sidebar of my blog.

Thank you for your help!

Let Him Be

For the past several nights, I have had varying nightmares about Rex being evaluated and tested for his development. I don’t know how many times this has happened for real in the last six months, but just counting what I remember, I come to 15 separate instances with a number of different entities in which we had to answer questions about Rex’s growth, development and history and in which he was supposed to “show off” his skills on command in unfamiliar environments with total strangers watching and demanding. I guess my dreams are indicative of the fact that I have had just about enough of these things. Leave my kid alone for a minute and let him be a child.

In my most recent nightmare, someone from the school district came to the door to take Rex’s measurements. She said the IEP couldn’t be finished without it. I allowed her into our home and told her I would need to go upstairs to wake Rex from his nap. She followed me up and then insisted that she wake him which I refused completely. This turned into an argument and I finally pushed the woman over the banister down into the dining room. After she had crashed, I cussed her out like a sailor from up top and told her she’d better never dare put her hands on either of my children and to get out. Can you tell that I am just a little bit tired of the probing and judging that Rex and our family have had to endure?

We have one more evaluation coming up next week which is for Rex’s preschool. After that I truly hope that we will be left alone for a while to live our lives and just let Rex learn, grow and develop without being scrutinized every step of the way.

Maria, Maria, Maria!

Here I go again advocating for little Maria who lives in one of my children's birth countries. Maria is seven years old and a favorite at her small orphanage. She is wheelchair-bound due to spina bifida and also under the care of a nephrologist because of some kidney and bladder issues. Maria is described by all who know her as a kind, inquisitive, and bright girl. She speaks two languages fluently, one of them English, and eagerly completes her homework each day.

Here's a note from my friend who met Maria at the end of last year:

"Oh, Maria! Sweet, beautiful, funny little girl. Shy at first (the [caretaker] with us teased her about it), she soon warmed up to us and squealed with delight, then hugged the stuffed puppy backpack we brought her. She added it to the huge pile of items on her bed and I asked where she slept and she said, "We all sleep together." Maria's best friend is being adopted, and she is so sad at the prospect of having neither her soulmate nor a family. We brought her candy and she was so cute in asking [her caretaker] if she could have some. She lives with [her caretakers] and other children in what feels like a warm, rambling home filled with love. Everyone was getting ready to go see a play one evening so I was able to style her hair and pick out something pretty for her to wear. She is completely a girly-girl, and bright and curious, too. She speaks [-] and English. She has Spina Bifida but her wheelchair in no way slows her down or diminishes her radiant smile. Out there is the luckiest of lucky families who get to call her their own."

Will someone please consider this treasure of a girl? You can get more info, including photos and videos, by contacting info@hopscotchadoptions.org.

Diapers For Bulgaria

Hop on over to my friend Amie's blog and participate in her fundraiser called "Share Your Love." She's trying to raise at least $600 to buy diapers for her daughter's orphanage in Bulgaria to be delivered during the pick-up trip. Amie has some nice prizes up for grabs and just $5 enters you into the drawing.

http://thehowe5.blogspot.com/2012/02/share-your-love.html

Go ahead, share your love!

Emilia - Thirteen Weeks Home

I am a little behind, but as of Saturday Emilia has been home with us for thirteen weeks. She’s doing great. I am most impressed at how much her confidence has improved. She’s still mostly a quiet girl and likes to play by herself, but as soon as Craig or I are in reach, she comes over to hug us, to be bounced or tossed into the air, or to just snuggle and sit with us. On Friday night, she spontaneously gave me a first kiss on the lips which I know was not easy for her.

Emilia is easily eating her 800-900 calories a day now. Some days she has pushed closer to 1000 fussing for more food. I am working on gritty lunches with her now, fork-mashed food or roughly pureed table food. She's done well with all of it except the oatmeal. She’s enjoyed selections like sweet potato, kale and couscous casserole, roughly pureed with olive oil and vegetable broth and steamed zucchini and onion, roughly pureed with olive oil, vegetable broth and quinoa. Per our OT's advice, Craig is also pushing down on her lower gums with the toothbrush to encourage her to push back up against it which she is doing. Apparently this stimulates the chewing muscles. They also told me to push down on her tongue with a spoon while she eats, but I am not doing that as I think it would have a negative effect on attachment as well as on the trust she and I have built around food.

Emilia can be very tenacious in her approach to Rex. There have been times when I have had to protect Rex from Emilia who loves to grab his collar and just hang on for dear life. Rex could be dragging her behind him and she wouldn’t let go. She tries to engage him throughout the day and sometimes he gives in.

We are pretty sure that Emilia says hi/hey now and also dada. I believe I have heard her say ball once or twice, but for the most part, I think she’s still wondering if verbal communication is worth it. She does make wonderful eye contact as noted by everyone who meets her and is smiles and love nearly all the time. She even had her first flirt at Whole Foods two days ago when she simply charmed a handsome young man with her sweet face and demeanor. We’re going to be in trouble come teenagehood!

Update: Shortly after I posted this entry, Emilia climbed up our 14 stairs on her own for the first time. Now I have two kids who want to play in the loft.

Bulgaria Statistics Revisited

One of my readers, Lucy, left an informative comment on my post about the adoption statistics, so I wanted to make sure everyone interested could see it. I do think she is quite accurate in noting that the second column shows special needs adoption procedures of identified waiting children and they are included in the total of the first column. So, for example, of the 65 MOJ consents given for adoptions by U.S. APs, 45 were for identified waiting children with special needs and only 20 were for children referred through the main procedure. I don't know how this slipped off my radar. I guess I shouldn't do translations late at night. My apologies.

It also makes much sense that these numbers reflect final consent given by MOJ for the adoptions since the statistics are released by MOJ and those last signatures is where their involvement with the process stops.

Lastly, I was not terribly clear in my initial post in indicating that the numbers reflected in the first column are not equal to the number of children that were adopted, but rather to the number of adoption procedures. So, just to reiterate, a total of 287 adoption consents were issued by MOJ in 2011, (soon) bringing 329 children to other countries.

Here's Lucy's original comment:

"The public statistics show in fact the number of the signed consents given by the Minister of Justice, it means the dossiers that have received their signitures, but haven't still passed through Court, received the new birth certificate and Bulgarian passport. Therefore if we have any kind of statistics for the number of issued Bulgarian passports for intercountry adopted children, it will be different. In brief, these are not the numbers of the children that have been adopted by foreign AP and have left Bulgaria, but rather part of the one that have left Bulgaria in 2011 and the one that will be shortly leaving.

The second column shows the number of SN procedures. If I do remember correctly, it is included as number in the one of the first column or namely about US:

There have been 65 given consents by the Minister of Justice, including 45 for SN kids.
As I think you already know, the number 65 indicates the number of the referrals/adoptive families and not the number of adopted kids, as sometimes under 1 referral/dossier we could have even 2 or more kids. It is the same for the SN procedures.

Moreover, you could see as well the share that US has taken in 2011, namely 23% /for 65 cases/, Italy - the first one is 38% /for 107 cases/."

Thank you, Lucy!

2011 International Adoption Statistics Bulgaria

MOJ released the final statistics for international adoptions from Bulgaria in 2011. A total of 287 adoptions were completed, bringing 329 children to other countries. Here's the breakdown of adoptions by receiving country:

Italy 107

USA 65

France 31

Germany 24

Sweden 17

Netherlands 13

Spain 9

Norway 6

Greece 4

Canada 4

Cyprus 3

Switzerland 2

Luxembourg 1

Malta 1

The document also includes a column that I can't quite interpret with certainty. However, I think it shows the number of adoptions that have received the final MOJ approval, but the children have not yet been picked up by their parents. Those numbers are:

Italy 18

USA 45

France 7

Germany 5

Sweden 14

Canada 2

If I remember correctly, in 2010, there were 40 adoptions from Bulgaria to the US, so we are once again seeing an increase in children coming home.

For anyone wishing to review the original document, here's the link:

Справка по държави за брой преписки с дадено съгласие за международно осиновяване от Министъра на правосъдието за 2011година.

Picture Of The Day

Since Rex decided to get up at 5:40 am today, he was very tired right after lunch. Around 11:15 I found him fast asleep on top of his current favorite toy, his Mozart cube, which was still playing. I know I am biased beyond reason, but I just adore this child so much.

Rex Twenty-Seven Weeks Home

Yesterday marked twenty-nine weeks out of the orphanage and twenty-seven weeks home for Rex. The last two weeks have been quiet except for the things which I have already blogged: Rex’s trip to the ER, his scribbling attempts, and his marked progress in his developmental assessment.

One other thing that Rex has learned just in the last 24 hours is his second independent ASL sign which is “music.” We are all so excited to see this step in communication finally happen because now with two signs, Rex can learn to distinguish and will hopefully begin to understand that all the other different signs we are working on have specific meaning as well and that he can use them to get something. His receptive language continues to expand.

Rex is quite a joyful kid and the light in his eyes when he is having fun is amazing. He still has short tantrums and occasionally hits himself, but we are noticing that more frequently he is not doing it to hurt himself, but just to get our attention. All of his therapists think that we will see this behavior drop away as he gains more effective and appropriate communication skills. I can’t imagine how frustrated he must be stuck in there with all of his thoughts that he can’t express very well at all.

Rex loves to play with all the cool gadgets that aren’t toys: remote controls, electric toothbrushes, computer mouses (or mice if you prefer) and phones. He has managed to leave a two minute message on Craig’s work phone and also called my mom in Germany at 1:30 am her time one evening, unbeknownst to us, of course. She said she knew it was him because she could hear his music playing in the background and he was babbling. She eventually hung up, but our phone was busy for almost two hours before we discovered the mischief.

Rex is securely attached to us and loves cuddling. He quite frequently now crawls onto Craig’s lap in the evenings on the couch and just wants to snuggle. He also loves backrubs and foot massages from Mama. We just couldn’t imagine life without him even though there’s never a dull moment and our days are littered with challenges. Still, the love and happiness he brings to our family trump it all.

IAC 206 & 207 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC session 206 held on 01/13/12:

1) U.S. dossier from December 2011 referred a waiting child (#1674) with a profile on the MOJ site

2) French dossier from January 2012 referred a waiting child (# 1351) with a profile on the MOJ site

3) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred two waiting children (# 1274 & #1343) with profiles on the MOJ site

4) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred a waiting child (#1158) with a profile on the MOJ site

5) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred a waiting child (# 842) with a profile on the MOJ site

The following referrals were issued in IAC session 207 held on 01/17/12:

1) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred four waiting children (# 1296 & #363 & #628 & #1762) with profiles on the MOJ site

2) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred two waiting children (# 1161 & #197) with profiles on the MOJ site

3) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred two waiting children (#975 & #635) with profiles on the MOJ site

4) U.S. dossier from January 2012 referred a waiting child (#865) with a profile on the MOJ site

February 13 & 14

February 13 and 14 seem to be developing a certain significance in our family as it appears that sometimes something out of the ordinary happens on those days.

February 13, 2000: Craig proposed to me.

February 14, 2009: We mailed our application to our placing agency.

February 14, 2011: We requested a waiting child from MOJ and learned that we had just been matched with another little girl.

February 13, 2012: Rex’s first visit to the ER after a bad fall that lacerated his lip repair. Stitches and anesthesia were necessary. He’s still smiling despite the stitches which will leave another scar. I sure hope it’s true what they say about chicks digging scars.

My Sweethearts

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.

~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Angels At Play

Seeing them together like this makes my heart sing with joy and gratitude.

My Budding Artist?

When you are parenting a child with developmental disabilities, you sometimes handle certain situations that happen differently than moms of neuro-typical children might do. That's why I was not a bit upset or frustrated when I saw Rex do this yesterday, but instead praised him and encouraged him to go on:

Yes, after weeks of working with him on coloring, these were his first independent, unassisted scribbles with a pen. Who cares that he made them on the tray of his high chair? All that matters is that he made them and I am so proud. A replica painting of Starry Night won't be far behind now, right?

Leaps and Bounds

Today we had a follow up for both children at the International Adoption Center. The doctors and specialists there were extremely pleased with both kids, health-wise and developmentally.

Emilia now weighs almost 20 pounds. She has gained 1.7 pounds since December 20. She has also grown 1.5 cm though I think those height measurements aren't very accurate and feel that it's probably closer to an inch in height gain for her.

Developmentally Rex has made great strides even since his last evaluation in early December. But I'll give you the six month uptick for a better overview:

August 15, 2011

Personal Social Development - equivalent to a 6 month old child

Fine Motor ~ Adaptive - equivalent to a 10 month old child

Language - equivalent to a 9 month old child

Gross Motor - equivalent to a 15 month old child

February 8, 2012

Personal Social Development - equivalent to a 15 month old child

Fine Motor ~ Adaptive - equivalent to a 15 month old child

Language - equivalent to a 12 month old child

Gross Motor - equivalent to an 18 month old child

Everyone was just so stunned and proud of Rex's progress. Of course, he is still significantly delayed, but I know how hard this little guy has worked in six months home, even with craziness like surgery and a new sister thrown into the mix. Rex is a rock star, as our Ms. Rie always says.

2012 Bulgarian Adoptive Families Reunion Update

The reunion committee is hard at work planning a weekend of fun for (prospective) adoptive families with children from Bulgaria. The event is still four months away, but accommodations are booking up fast. The 8 deluxe cabins are filled with attendees and we do not know at this time how many of the 10 camping cabins are still available. Book quickly if you want one of those! RV and tent sites as well as hotel rooms are plentiful yet.

For more information, please visit: http://bulgarianadopteesreunion.blogspot.com/.

The Witching Hour

Do you have a witching hour at your house? A time when everything seems to disintegrate and you just want to pull out your hair and scream? For me, that hour is between 5 and 6 pm almost every day. Usually any combination of the following things are happening during this time:

I am making dinner or finishing dinner prep for at least two, sometimes three different diets.

Emilia wants to push her cart in endless circles around the kitchen island.

Rex wants to go upstairs and wreak havoc on anything that’s not nailed down. Here’s what he managed to do today during witching hour:

Telemarketer/ pseudo non-profit telemarketer or appointment reminder calls. Today it was Mr. Chimney wanting to clean my non-existent chimney.

Emilia wants to hang on to my pants’ legs and be dragged around.

Both children are hungry and want to be fed at the same time.

The house is a mess.

Daddy comes home and causes great excitement among the kids.

At least one child poops.

Both kids try to climb into the fridge or freezer every time I open their doors.

Emilia is carrying one can after another out of the pantry if it is left open.

Rex tries to reach for anything in sight on the countertops and wants to place toys onto the (hot) stove.

Rex’s therapist is finishing up and wants to discuss her session.

I am sure there’s more and if I had time to take notes or type during witching hour, I could record the chaos more properly. Alas, I don’t. It’s all I can do to try and get through it.

The Sights of Yerevan

I have been meaning to share some images of Rex's birth city, Yerevan, so here goes.

The Cascades:

View from the Cascades:
Yerevan's most expensive shopping street. Few locals can afford it:

The Opera House:
Republic Square:

The Museum of Ancient Manuscripts:
The Genocide Memorial and Museum:
Hopefully I will have time to post more pictures from our adoption trips soon.

Emilia - Eleven Weeks Home

As of today, Emilia has been home with us for eleven weeks. I can hardly believe it. Time is flying by and it seems like she’s always been here.

I am happy to report that Emilia is growing. She has a cute belly and some of the pants that used to fit her (size 6-9 months) can no longer be buttoned. On others, the legs are getting too short. She just looks sturdier overall. Our next weigh-in for her is on Wednesday, so I will share the new data with you then. She’s been easily meeting her daily caloric goals with purees and her supplement and she is now drinking juices, too. We are experimenting with fork mashed table foods at lunch. Some of it is a go and some not so much. We stopped giving Emilia the Prevacid, but are continuing with her iron prescription.

The most wonderful thing in the last two weeks has been the bonding. Emilia came to us with a lot of anxieties, traumas, and trust issues from the orphanage. When we approached her crib in the morning, her whole body would shake in fear and her face looked incredibly scared. She wanted physical affection, but could not quite handle it when she received it. Now, she smiles when she sees me approach her and sometimes even says, “Hi-ya.” She climbs up on us to cuddle and when I sit down on the floor, she usually runs to give me a hug. Yes, she has learned to put her arms around our necks for real hugs. At other times, she simply sits down next to me and leans her head against my body which is pure sweetness. We are just now starting to give kisses on the mouth which is still weird for her. It will all come in time. And when she feels truly safe and loved, she will just blossom beyond belief.

More parallel play?

Emilia still does some rocking, especially in the evening in the living room. Another favorite rocking place is in front of the dishwasher when it is running. I don’t know if it’s to keep herself awake or to calm down. I think she has been rocking herself for a long time because she literally has abs of steel. This tiny treasure is a brick of muscle. And she still sucks her thumb which is her trusted and readily available comfort. I have tried to give her a pacifier, but she will not have it. It must be her left thumb or nothing.

Emilia pushed her big cousin around the house with no problem.

She's not a bit intimidated by her brother's size and strength.

We did move Emilia into the kids’ room to sleep. She is such a restless sleeper, kicking her legs, making noises, shifting all over the place… none of this ever woke her, but it did the rest of us. So, Emilia is now sleeping in a pack’n play all by herself. She has done very well with this set-up. She goes down easily in the evening and wakes up happy in the morning. She no longer wakes in the middle of the night to play for a few hours either. Whew, we’re all well rested again.

These overalls used to be too long two months ago.

Emilia is a feisty little girl, a bit of a drama queen, who can climb like a monkey and will some day probably swim like a fish. She is sweet and cuddly and, don’t be fooled, she knows what she wants. Go Emilia!

Rex - Twenty-Five Weeks Home

Today marks twenty-seven weeks out of the orphanage and twenty-five weeks home for Rex. Considering that I have been updating on his progress throughout the month, I think I can keep this post short-ish.

Rex is doing well and learning new things all the time. We have recently introduced puzzles and he is great at taking the pieces out and sure tries hard to put them back in. He can stand on one leg now, too, and has figured out how to push mega lego blocks together to build towers. His receptive language seems to be growing quickly. Just the other night Craig asked Rex if he wanted to go in the water, meaning take a bath, and Rex immediately grabbed his hands, walked him over to the kitchen sink, and reached his arms toward the faucet. He heard water and he knew what/where it was. He also frequently responds properly to our requests of “go get…” now. We keep encouraging signing and vocalizations and may try out PECS soon to help his ability to express himself. Lastly, I should report that we had our first tearless toenail clipping. I could only do two toes at a time and then needed to give Rex a tiny break, but we got through it well. Considering how great he does now with cutting his fingernails, I think we will soon have no issues left with the toenails either.

He is usually very kind to his sometimes pesky sister.

In nutritional news, lately Rex has been willing to touch fresh fruits to his tongue. He’s experimented with apples and grapes and he actually ate a bowl of fresh strawberries with yogurt on them. I call that a victory. He also had his first experience with lasagna and after some initial hesitation, ended up loving it. I am looking into more supplements for him to help his brain and his digestion (he struggles with constipation – tmi, I know), but I have to find some that are easy to take/give. Rex is not going to swallow a pill or anything that tastes bad to him, including artificial flavors. Suggestions are welcome.

Parallel Play?

He still loves to play on the stairs.

We also learned last week that Rex has been accepted into a private preschool for children with developmental disabilities. He will start there in the fall. It already breaks my heart to think that he will be away from me all day on weekdays, but it is about what’s best for him, not me. This preschool offers 1:1 and 1:2 instruction, OT, PT, ST, aqua therapy, ABA, sensory integration, etc. on site, and meets Ohio academic standards/requirements, so in many ways they can do so much more than I am able to do at home. The program is also very small and there is daily opportunity for inclusion with children in an equally small neuro-typical preschool class. They only had four openings for the next school year and we are so thankful that Rex was chosen to fill one of them.

Getting more handsome by the day.