Pick Up Trip Day 16

Despite the chilly temps and the drizzle, we set out on another private tour to Lake Sevan.  The area is beautiful and I can imagine it as a very popular vacation and tourist spot in the summer months.

We visited the two ninth century churches by the lake which are still in use, so we happened upon Armenian mass in progress.

We also enjoyed a delicious lunch of fish fresh from Sevan, along with many traditional sides: salad, greens, freshly baked bread, cheese, and matsun.

On the way home, we made a brief stop at the statue of Princess Tamar and learned about her legend.

After some quick naps on the bus and a stop at our apartment, we got ready to meet Rex's birth family for dinner.  We went to a place called Americano Children's Cafe which is similar to a Chuck E Cheese, crazy loud and overstimulating, but the kids enjoyed it while the adults did their best to make conversation.

Rex has his birth mother's eyes
and, except for the cleft differences,
his birth father's facial shape, mouth and smile

Giving Thanks

The blessings in our life are innumerable, but I still wanted to take note of some things for which we are especially thankful this holiday.

1) Ella is home.  She is well.  And she sings soulful Armenian songs.  Enough said.

2) Emilia, just this week, started saying I love you spontaneously.  And from when and to whom she says it, it's obvious she means it.  Of my three children, Emilia has the biggest and simultaneously the most fragile heart which shows in the beautiful way she lives her life every single day.

3) Rex's new occupational therapist told me this week that he is a joy to work with and that he's a child that just grabs your heart.  Don't I know it!  Rex recently mastered several goals at school, including taking off his socks after one year of hard practice.  He continues to verbally imitate some words and also uses these words spontaneously to communicate certain wishes.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ella - One Month Home

One month ago today, our plane touched down at CVG and Ella was finally home.  Things are going well and at this time, the issues we are dealing with are typical for any six-year-old child and not a product of orphanage life.

Ella's abilities in English expand daily.  She sometimes will utter complete sentences that are totally grammatically correct, like, "Emilia, Mama said time to sleep.  Go to bed.  No screaming."  I always stop in my tracks when she does because language acquisition is just so wondrous.  I also chuckle when I hear her say colloquial things like c'mon, let's go, stop it, yup, I need a break, have a good day, etc.

Right now, we do about an hour of focused home school per day with Ella and she is progressing with her pre-academic knowledge. She now recognizes and names 10 letters (lower and upper case as I have been teaching them in pairs), she knows at least a dozen colors, and eight to ten shapes.  Ella can draw people and objects, such as flowers, eye glasses, and boats, but she struggles with handwriting.  She understands concepts like fast and slow, hot and cold and is using comparatives and superlatives.  She counts to 15 and can quantify.  We will be meeting with our school district soon to discuss a half-day Kindergarten option for Ella for the new year.

Ella likes to help us around the house and enjoys praise for a job well done.  We fold laundry together where Ella's first task is always to match up the socks.  Ella also assists with grocery shopping.  She pushes her own little cart through the store and is very careful around other shoppers.  One day she even said, "Excuse me" as she was trying to get past a crowd in an aisle.  When Emilia is at preschool, Ella has had fun cooking with me.  I think she will love Christmas baking.  And not to leave her daddy without an extra set of hands, Ella has pitched in when Craig was assembling a cabinet and a shelf to be used in the basement.

Ella sleeps calmly through the night.  Naps are hit and miss, but she knows she has to rest quietly in her bed even if she does not sleep.  Ella eats well overall, still requesting a lot of fruit, soup, naan (which she calls lavash), greens (lettuces and herbs), Greek yogurt, and icecream.  There have been meals she did not like in which case she has gone to bed a little on the hungry side, I imagine.  She's not fond at all of cheese or spicy foods.  Oh and Ella lost another tooth this week, but she wouldn't tell us where she put it, so the tooth fairy did not come.

Today we had our first visit with orthopedics and they confirmed what we already knew: Ella has a very rare and complex cluster of congenital limb differences.  The doctor told us that there isn't going to be an orthopedic specialist anywhere in the country that will have seen even just a few cases of Ella's specific combination of diagnoses.  He acknowledged his own limited experience and said that he would present Ella's case to the entire orthopedics department at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, so that everyone's knowledge and recommendations could be pooled for her treatment.  We are awaiting a call with further details, but for now are told to simply let her continue to do what she's doing.

This month we have also been blessed to connect with Ella's biological family via social media.  We have learned quite a bit about her birth history as well as about her family in Armenia.  We're looking forward to growing this new relationship and being able to share it with Ella when she begins to ask us questions about these matters.

Our newest daughter is a big fan of arts and crafts, of the Kindle, of singing songs, of hugs and kisses, of braiding my hair, of roughhousing with her daddy, of talking on the phone, of baths, of pretty dresses, and of swinging.  She does not like bedtime, sharing her favorite toys, not being able to ride the school bus yet, having to wait for Christmas, and going to the doctor.  In other words, at one month home, all is well.

Ella holding a thank you card
she made for a kind friend

It's A Family Part 2

Last night as we were taking the girls to bed and Ella requested her usual dozens of hugs and kisses, she suddenly said to us, "Family siroon*.  Family, I love you."

*Siroon is the Armenian word for beautiful.

Pick-Up Trip Day 15

October 18, 2014

Today we took a private tour to two historical sights of Armenia: Garni Temple and Geghard Monastery.  It was a very special trip for us.

Garni, if you can block out the noise of the tourists, is so peaceful.  Nothing but silence and gorgeous views surround this site.

Geghard touched us as we watched devoted Christian women worship in this old church.  An Armenian priest was present and after learning our story, he blessed our entire family.  What a gift to receive, especially for our two little Armenians.

Of course, no outing is complete for us without trying the local food from roadside stands.  Those of us not sensitive to gluten or dairy devoured two loaves of gata, an Armenian sweet bread, still warm from the oven of a wonderful old lady who set up shop near Garni.  We bought lots of other homemade delicacies from her as well (fruit lavash, caramel covered local walnuts, jam, etc.).

Gata we took home with us (after eating two loaves on the road)

One of many roadside stands

In the evening we changed the tone of the day by attending the first birthday bash of a little girl being adopted by another family we have known for years.  Their pick-up trip is overlapping with ours, so it's been fun to get together.  Little Miss A was able to leave the orphanage on the morning of her first birthday just in time to celebrate with her new family and friends.

It's A Family

Yesterday Ella asked me who was going to the store in the evening.  I said, "Everyone" to which she responded, "Ella, Mama, Meeyah, Daddy, Rex... it's a family."

Sisters Forevermore

Pick-Up Trip Days 12, 13 & 14

October 15, 16 & 17

We didn't have anything on the agenda these three days, so we literally spent them walking the city, playing, eating and sleeping.  The kids enjoyed this routine very much and it sure didn't hurt that the weather was sunny and pushing 80 degrees.  We even had time for a play date with American friends at Tumanyan Park.

On Friday, my sister arrived from Vienna to spend the weekend with us.  We showed her around the city and in the evening attended the fall festival at QSI of Yerevan.  They had yummy food, games, and a huge bonfire.

Emilia and Aunt Belli

Watching the flames up high

Today In Home School

Until the end of the calendar year, Ella receives about an hour of focused home schooling per day either with me or with Ms. Rie. Emilia is always a part of it, too.  Today we started with a turkey craft, gluing felt feathers on and spelling their names in stickers:

Ella loves arts and crafts and this creativity was something I wished for in a child, but after Rex and Emilia have had limited interest, I kind of got used to doing crafts only once or twice a week at most.  Now with Ella, I can hardly keep up with her demand for "cut, cut, cut and glue" as she calls it, so we have three structured arts and crafts activities per week and then Ella has access to doing other creative things on her own the rest of the time.

After completing the turkeys, we worked on quantifying which Ella already knows how to do, but Emilia is struggling to learn.  We counted little wooden houses today in a variety of tactile, hands-on, ways with a lot of movement (Emilia has been identified by her therapists as a kinesthetic learner along with only 5% of the general population): jumping over them, knocking them over, tossing them into a bowl, etc.

Then the girls and Ms. Rie went to swing and jump in the basement.

After lunch, we made snow icecream, mixing sugar, vanilla and coconut milk with our freshly fallen snow.  It was actually quite good.  Ella also brought in a small snowball and we learned about melting.  As Ella put it, "Snow cold, then water."

Manic Sunday

For many, Sunday is a day of rest, but for me it's usually a day with an extremely long to do list where I can be especially productive because Craig's at home and entertaining the kids.

Today I

* did four loads of laundry, start to finish, including all the kids' bedding
* ran and unloaded the dishwasher twice
* addressed Ella's adoption announcement envelopes to family around the world
* picked up and vacuumed the living room
* cleaned the kitchen floor
* mailed a donation to a family adopting from Armenia
* paid bills
* sorted through my greeting card and mailing supplies
* wrote a thank you note
* made a new necklace for Rex's chewy
* prepped home school activities for the girls for tomorrow
* helped Craig move some furniture

The saving grace for today were our low-prep yet yummy meals: crockpot oatmeal for lunch and sweet and sour cabbage soup for dinner.

Now I think I'll plop myself on the couch and enjoy some Downton Abbey.  Maybe some icecream, too, if someone brings it to me.

Emilia's Together Forever Day #3

Three years ago today, I traveled to Dobrich, Bulgaria to claim as my daughter a little girl, sick and malnourished, scared and withdrawn, without hope and without love.  I still remember this little girl who would sit at the sidelines, rocking, clicking her mouth and sucking her thumb.  Her laugh and her cry sounded exactly the same.  She would shake like a leaf when picked up and couldn't accept much affection.

November 14, 2011

Emilia's essence, despite the neglect she endured for two years and despite how hard she has to work to make a go at life, is joy.  Craig and I are continually thankful for Emilia's wonderful spirit, her uninhibited laughter, her loving nature, and her open approach to others.  Emilia spreads happiness nearly everywhere she goes and she has a way of making people feel good about themselves.  Her positive attitude and smile light up a room.

Happy Together Forever Day, Emilia.  For three years we have been blessed to be your family, to guide you through ups and downs, to help you grow and learn.  You are a perfect child and we love you so.

Pick-Up Trip Days 10 & 11

October 13, 2014

Today we moved into a nicer apartment that is much safer for the kids.  It's adjacent to a private playground and two large parks.  The only downside is its location further away from city center, but we don't mind a 15 minute walk and are very happy to be here.  After nap time, Ella and I headed back to the medical clinic to have her TB test read.  All is well and she is medically cleared for her visa.

October 14, 2014

We had another pretty open day with fun on the playground and at Children's Park.  There's an elderly man there with two bounce houses and a big trampoline that cost about 50 cents per kid to play.  We visit there daily and the wee Martinis have a lot of fun and a nice gross motor workout.  A few steps away are two Soviet era festival rides that the kids always enjoy before we leave the park.  Again, the cost is about 50 cents per child and these rides go long, at least 5 minutes.  We think these outings are ten dollars well spent each day to entertain Rex, Emilia and Ella.

In the afternoon, Ella and I went to the Ministry of Justice to sign for a certificate we need and then we picked up her passport.  Now we wait for the US embassy to give us an interview date for Ella's visa.

Pick-Up Trip Days 8 & 9

October 11, 2014

This morning we headed to the Cascades.  The kids were not very interested in the monument itself or the view from the top, but all three enjoyed the rides up and down on the multiple long and steep escalators.  I don't think Ella had ever been on one and just giggled the whole time once she figured out how they work.  In the afternoon we spent some time with an American family who has been living in Armenia for about seven years.  They are so nice and showered us with attention and gifts.  Ella especially enjoyed playing with their second-grader.  Upon their recommendation, we had a delicious Chinese meal for dinner.  Ella is a good eater and gravitates mostly toward fresh fruit, vegetables and meat.  Like her siblings, Ella enjoys watching videos on the Kindle.  She's already singing along to some children's songs

October 12, 2014

This morning we had a wonderful visit with a friend whom we met during our adoption of Rex.  It was so great to see her again and catch up.  We did a little walking together and then let the kids have fun on the playground while we chatted.

After lunch and naps, we took a taxi to B--- to meet with Rex's birth family.  This time we were invited to his birth parents' home in the village where they live.  Rex would have grown up there had they decided to parent him.  We really cannot say enough good about Rex's first family.  They are warm, generous, sincere and caring.  They have embraced all of us fully with open arms and acceptance.  Just like us, they feel that their family has now been extended.  They are also happy and thankful to know that Rex is in good hands and growing up in a family and country that can help him reach his fullest potential.  We are very blessed to have this connection.  Here are a few photos of Rex and his bio siblings (and for those of you wondering, we did discuss this with the "K" family and we all agreed that there would be no need for secrecy):

World Adoption Day

Today is the first ever World Adoption Day.

Through adoption, these three orphans became our cherished children.

First photo we saw of Rex - taken December 2009

First photo we saw of Emilia - taken September 2010

First photo we saw of Ella - taken late 2012 or early 2013

We could have said no, but we said yes.

Rex's Birth Family

In late winter 2014, Craig and I decided to begin a search for Rex's birth family.  This matter had been on my heart since the day that Rex became our son and I had been feeling an inexplicably strong pull to find his biological relatives.  Since we knew we would be in Armenia this year to adopt Ella, it seemed like the time was right in case there would be a chance to meet.

We used a search team that was recommended by our agency and many adoptive families, including two who had successfully located birth parents in Armenia.  The service did not come cheap, but my desire to connect with Rex's birth family could not be tamed by the costs. We prepared a letter and several photos of Rex for the searcher to take with him to Armenia and then the story started to unfold like magic.

On Saturday morning, May 3, just a few hours before we were headed to the airport to go meet Ella in Gyumri, we received an email from the search team letting us know that they would be in Armenia the following week.  I couldn't believe that we would be overlapping in Yerevan, so I instantly emailed back and told them if the birth family was found and wanted to meet us, we would be in town through Friday of that week.  On Tuesday evening after we returned from our time with Ella, we had an email that Rex's birth family had been located and wanted to meet us.  We quickly hired a translator (our agency translators, understandably, were not permitted to translate for us for this purpose) and had her arrange for a meeting on Thursday.

On Thursday evening, Craig, Rex, our translator and I drove to the Malatia Sebastia district of Yerevan.  We'd been there before in 2011, trying to just get a glimpse of the area that included the address his birth mother provided in Rex's paperwork.  Narrow streets and little houses tucked close together, vines growing across lattice roofs, picturesque in its own special way.

When we pulled up, Rex's birth grandfather, handsome, dark and tan, was waiting in the street.  His other relatives were huddled together in a bare ante-room, sneaking glimpses out at us.  I could tell there was a crowd waiting to meet Rex and tears just started streaming down my face because so many of his birth relatives had decided to be there for him.  I don't remember exactly what happened next. I shook Rex's birth grandfather's hand and was ushered forward.  I was looking at many faces and I asked, "Where's 'L'?'"  Our translator pointed me toward a petite, lovely, young woman, at least a head shorter than me.  I walked toward her and we embraced.  "Thank you, thank you thank you," were the words flowing from me to Rex's birth mother.  There were tears from everyone, hugs, hand shakes, long looks. Time stood still for a few minutes.

Finally, the spirit of hospitality awakened and Rex's birth family ushered us into their yard, a pretty space surrounded by tall walls with trees and flowers growing inside.  Chairs and tables were set up for all of us, a row of toys was waiting for Rex, his bio siblings and his cousin.  This is where we spent the next several hours getting to know each other and sharing a meal.  There were only three of us, but in Rex's birth family we met his parents, siblings, grandparents, great-grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousin.

Time flew by as everyone, encouraged by me, asked many, many questions.  They wanted to know everything from why Rex is non-verbal to why he has a chewy and glasses to how many surgeries he has had to if he goes to school.  I was happy to answer to the best of my ability, sometimes having to explain an issue in many different ways.  I was also gauging how many details to share at that time as I did not want to overwhelm the family with the full scope of Rex's needs all at once.  I simply wanted them to be able to enjoy their reunion with him.  I was feeling for our translator, too, who was in the middle of this incredibly emotional exchange, trying to remain professional and bridging the language barrier for us.

After a while, I began asking some questions myself.  I did not want to be too intrusive, but did inquire why his first parents decided to relinquish Rex a few days after he was born.  Based on the family's story, it appears that they were given, either by accident or on purpose, some misleading, if not false, information about the treatment and prognosis of CLCP - Rex's only need known at the time of his placement at the orphanage - by the doctors attending to them.  They were encouraged to relinquish their rights and place Rex into state care.  I also asked why they never visited Rex at the orphanage - he was there for almost two and a half years - and, with tears flowing down their faces, Rex's birth mother and grandmothers answered that if they had ever spent any more time with him, they would not have been able to leave him.  They felt that after having come to such a heartbreaking decision, they could not go back on it by visiting him.

It was obvious to me throughout this entire meeting that the decision his birth parents made in 2009 has weighed heavily on them for five long years.  The pain on Rex's birth father's face was palpable.  It was clear that Rex was on the family's minds and hearts always, that they never forgot him, that they commemorated his birthday and, above all, that they were still aching terribly over his loss.  And I could also see a question in their eyes: Could we have raised this child ourselves?  What if we had chosen differently and decided to parent?

Throughout the entire evening, Rex was on his best behavior.  He seemed to feel very comfortable at his grandparents' home.  He explored and he played.  He was doted on by his birth relatives who, amazingly, welcomed him with such an open, accepting spirit, despite his differences.  Their love for him was permeating the evening to the point where you could almost bottle the feeling that was extended to him.

One especially poignant moment for me came when it was time to eat.  Due to his dietary restrictions, Rex could not eat any of the food that was being served, so "L" found him a banana.  And I cried some real tears as I watched "L" chase our son through the yard, offering him bites, the first tangible, maternal gesture she was able to make toward him in over five years.

Rex and his Mama L

The evening passed too quickly and the goodbyes were hard.  Craig and I made sure to tell the family that we realize that our joy in having a son comes at the expense of their great loss and pain.  We let them know that we would be happy to embrace them all as our extended family and would love for them to be a part of Rex's life as much as possible.  We promised to send letters, emails and photos.  They promised to do the same.  I took "L's" hand and said, "One Rex, two mamas."  I think she understood even without the translator.  We also made sure they knew that we would be back in the fall and that we would be glad to meet again then, so that they could have more time with Rex, get to know him a little bit better and strengthen the emerging bonds of our adoption triad.

After we left, I felt incredibly grateful for this experience.  Things could have gone much differently as I know they have for many adoptive families.  The birth family might not have been able to be located, they might not have chosen contact, or they might not have embraced a child that is so different.  But the plan for Rex and for us and for his Armenian family was one of connection, of welcome, of acceptance.  I felt a level of peace that had eluded me for three years.

A few months after this meeting, we received our first letter from Rex's Armenian family.  A part of it read: "We are very thankful to you for being Rex’s parents.  If you were not our child’s parents, we don’t know how he would be settled in life. God sent you to be our child’s father and mother. We can hardly find words to express our love, respect to you. May God protect you."

Barbie Bandits?

Last night, we found the girls playing together like this.  We didn't ask for fear of aiding and abetting, but it looked like they were planning their first heist.

Pick-Up Trip Days 6 & 7

October 9, 2014

We had a quiet day of getting to know one another and taking care of the passport photos and application.  We spent a lot of time walking around Yerevan and playing on a playground near our apartment.  Ella learned additional English words today: up, down and finished.  She had her first shower away from the orphanage and let Craig assist her with brushing her teeth. Even tough her self-help skills are very good, dental hygiene should not be left solely in a 6 year-old's hands.

October 10, 2014

This morning we took a walk to the Opera House where we rented a few tricycles for the kids to ride for a while.  Then everyone but me went to lunch at Artbridge where the staff speaks very good English and the food is American diner inspired. Meanwhile, I headed to a store called Sharan with a long list of orders from friends back home.  This store sells only unique items, mostly children's clothing, handmade in Armenia which are all very beautiful.  I had such a fun time choosing for several little Armenian girls who now live in the US.  In the afternoon, I took Ella to her embassy medical exam where she impressed the doctor with her basic math skills as well as with the English she has already acquired.  Ella was definitely worried about the TB test, but shed no tears and afterward said, "Well, they just put a little bubble into me."  After dinner we spent a few hours walking through town again and made a stop at the playground.

In front of the Yerevan Opera House

Ella - One Month In Our Family

This is a lengthy post about a little girl whose world was turned upside down exactly one month ago when she joined our family.  She's doing extremely well.  She had her two hour developmental assessment at Cincinnati Children's Hospital this morning and demonstrated all the skills expected of a typically developing six-year-old child.  In other words, Ella is developmentally on target.

We were prepared for a lot of adjustment issues, but thus far, they simply haven't happened. Here is a list of what we thought might be areas posing difficulties and how things are going.

1) Grooming and personal hygiene: Ella loves to take baths and get her hair washed.  She'd do it twice a day if it were up to her.  She's also into brushing teeth and we help her with that three times a day as her dental health is not very good and she needs to see a dentists as soon as possible.  Ella allows me to trim her nails and fix her hair without any problems... other than the fact that I am not very good at handling her beautiful, thick mane.  Ella is completely independent with going to the bathroom and even does a great job washing her hands afterward without reminders.

2) Food: Ella does not, unlike so many kids who have spent years in orphanage care, eat without stopping.  However, she does either get overwhelmed by the selection, wanting to try everything in sight, or is picky, refusing to eat what is served.  Her favorite foods so far are a variety of fresh fruit, soup and spaghetti.  When Ella gets full, she starts to play with her food.  For example, she pours juice over her toast on a plate and sloshes it around without giving it a second thought.  So, for right now, we are watching her closely and removing her leftovers when she starts playing with her dishes.  We also keep all food and especially liquids out of her reach during non-meal times as she is prone to grab something, take a bite/ sip and then just play with it.  Table manners will be an area of focus as soon as Ella gains more language.

3) Sleep: Ella sleeps well.  Things got a little mucked up with jetlag, but now, Ella sleeps soundly through the night and takes a short nap after lunch. She shares a room with Emilia and has not given us any push back on nap or bedtime since the first few days in our family.

4) Unnecessary roughness: Based on my own observations and from what I have heard, affection at the orphanage is a lot harsher than what a child would experience in a family.  Hence, Ella is a little rough when she wants to show us her love.  Her fine motor skills are pretty good, so this issue is not related to an inability to be gentle, but rather to what she has known to be the proper way to display her affections.  Rex tends to defend himself when Ella comes to love on him, but we have to protect Emilia a bit until we can teach Ella to be more gentle.  She's already improving.

5) Mothering: Ella was one of the oldest and certainly the highest functioning child in her group.  She is very much used to helping other children as well as to boss them around.  She has been trying to use this approach in her relationship with Emilia.  Fortunately, Emilia will tell her no and reject most of her overtures, but Ella is pretty persistent, so we have to intervene sometimes.  We are trying to help Ella understand that she no longer needs to mother as this is the job of us parents.  We also want her to see that Emilia can and wants to do things for herself and that they are equals as sisters, each with her own strengths and weaknesses and ability to help the other learn.

6) Attachment: Ella is an affectionate child who spontaneously showers us with hugs and kisses.  She likes to sit close to me and snuggle. She's a little timid with Craig still, but getting more open to having a daddy every single day, especially for roughhousing. Ella seeks our approval and help and is becoming more cooperative all the time.  At the moment, Ella prefers to have me in her sights and if that's not the case, she calls out for me from time to time to make sure I am still there.  She also likes to run through the list of family members several times a day to understand where they are and what they are doing (Daddy and Rex bye-bye, Mama no bye-bye or Emilia sleeping, Rex school, Daddy work, Oma Germany).  Ella does feel like she has to vie for my attention with Emilia which is a little stressful for me, but I know she will learn soon that there's enough love to go around for everyone.  Of course, we are not fooling ourselves into thinking that after a month home Ella is securely attached to us, but she certainly is working very hard toward this goal.

7) Obedience:  This has definitely been our toughest area, especially in the first week or so.  Ella is a smart girl and has been testing the limits.  She threw one massive tantrum in Yerevan in the middle of a busy shopping street (all of it over sitting down to eat a donut), kicking, screaming, hitting, hurling snot and spit, crying, and attempting to make herself vomit.  It lasted twenty minutes and Craig and I sat calmly by, occasionally reminding her that when she settled down and chose to sit, she could have her donut.  What Ella couldn't know is that we'd already been down this road times one hundred with Rex, so we weren't rattled by her behavior.

Ella readily understands what's permissible and what's not, but she she tries to get away with stuff on a regular basis, checking what our reaction will be.  Now, we're not talking anything major here - think taking off her jacket while playing outside after having been told repeatedly to wear it or slamming doors just for fun.  I don't have any experience, but I am guessing some of this is normal Kindergartener behavior.  Still, Craig and I are working very hard to be consistent with the rules and boundaries of life in our family, so that Ella can quickly learn what's expected and feel safe in this knowledge.  She does seek our approval and relishes in praise when she makes good choices.

8) Language: After four weeks in our family, here’s a partial list of words that Ella uses freely in English already. This also gives you a glimpse into how she has been spending her time.

Apple, orange, grapes, kiwi, banana, icecream, toast, soup, water, cold, hair, Kindle, eat/eating, finished, up, down, sleep/sleeping/time to sleep, no, yes, more,  about a dozen colors, all major body parts, mama, daddy, Oma, Rex, Emilia, Belli, car, sit, I want, sorry, swing/swinging, chair, numbers to ten, outside, snowflake, rainbow, balloon, bubble, toothbrush, bathroom, cat, dog, cut, glue, about a dozen animals, one time – two times – three times –etc., first [this]- then [that], my turn/ [someone else’s] turn, hi, bye-bye, faster, nice, good, pretty, very, diaper, diaper change, poopy, peepee, yummy, and, help, jeans, shoes, boy, girl, night-night, stinky, not, no more, bus, fork, spoon, table, cup, bed, Cinderella, come on, wait/waiting, school, work, big, small, thank you, jump/jumping, doctor, upstairs, downstairs, okay.

Ella is using sentences like, "I want telephone daddy" and "Daddy, I am coming" and "Emilia is almost finished" and "Mama, I want water."  She can sing the words to about half a dozen children's songs in English and also has lines memorized already from Frozen, The Jungle Book, and Cinderella.  She answers simple questions and follows instructions such as go to the bathroom and get Rex's diaper.

9) Grief:  In the first four or five days with us, Ella's grief manifested itself in her looking through her photos and albums from the orphanage several times a day. She'd name the people in the pictures for us and tell us about them in Armenian.  Ella also spent a good amount of time watching videos of herself at the orphanage.  In less than a week, we saw this behavior taper off and Ella gradually stopped looking through her orphanage memories until she'd go to the bag holding everything about once or twice a day, simply checking that her things were still there, but not taking them out.  Since coming home, Ella has had access to her memory bag all the time, but I don't think I have seen her even take notice of it once.  It simply waits in its spot for her to reach when she wishes.  She also stopped watching the videos of herself at the orphanage.  Currently, Ella's grief seems to show when she sits down quietly and begins to sing Armenian songs to herself which happens a few times a week.  These songs are beautiful and soulful and a very fitting expression of what she may be missing and how she may be feeling.  We know that grief comes in waves and are prepared for it to wash over Ella with renewed force at any time, but for the moment, it appears to be largely at bay.

As you can see, the first month with Ella has been wonderful, a very smooth transition.  We realize that this may still be the infamous honeymoon period and that Ella could start exhibiting more challenging behavior at any time.  But for now, we are simply thankful for how well she has adjusted, for how much and how quickly she is learning, and for the happiness she's added to our lives.

*Sorry there haven't been many pictures.  I forgot my camera in Yerevan and won't have it back until the end of the month, so it's been difficult to document Ella's first days here at home.

Writing Her Name

Ella has been very motivated to learn how to write her name, so we started practicing this week by having her trace and copy it as well as by introducing her to the individual letters that make up her name.  This afternoon, Ella turned over a piece of paper (our letter A coloring page from the morning) and independently wrote her name from memory.  I am so impressed.

IAC 295 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 295 which was held on September 30, 2014:

1) Irish dossier from September 2010 referred a female child aged 1 year and 10 months

2) Canadian dossier from November 2010 referred two brothers aged 2 years and 3 years with features in health status

3) Italian dossier from December 2010 referred a female child aged 6 years and 9 months

4) Italian dossier from September 2011 referred a brother and sister aged 3 years and 1 month & 6 years and 3 months

5) US dossier from June 2012 referred a waiting child (#2437) with a profile on the MOJ site

6) French dossier from August 2012 referred male and female twins aged 5 years and 5 months with features in health status

7) Canadian dossier from August 2013 referred a female child aged 2 years and 11 months with features in health status

8) Italian dossier from October 2013 referred a female child aged 2 years and 4 months with features in health status and a family history

9) Luxembourg dossier from April 2014 referred a male child aged 1 year and 8 months with features in health status and a family history

10) US dossier from May 2014 referred a waiting child (#685) with a profile on the MOJ site

11)  US dossier from September 2014 referred two waiting children (#20138 & #2039) with profiles on the MOJ site

12) US dossier from September 2014 referred two waiting children (#2010 & #2011) with profiles on the MOJ site

13) US dossier from September 2014 referred a waiting child (#2357) with a profile on the MOJ site

14) US dossier from September 2014 referred a waiting child (#2214) with a profile on the MOJ site

Pick-Up Trip Day 5 - Together Forever Day

October 8, 2014

My mom arrived from Germany in the wee hours of the morning and around 10:00 am we all set off for Gyumri.  There's a restaurant called Fish Farm there that makes absolutely delicious food on the premises, including raising their own fresh fish.  We had eaten there in May and were excited to be able to do so again.  We ordered barbecued trout, matsun (Armenian yogurt made at Fish Farm), bread (freshly baked over an open fire) and tomato and cucumber salad with fresh herbs.

After a wonderful lunch, we headed to the orphanage to set up for Ella's farewell party.  In the midst of those preparations, we received a call from our facilitator that our adoption and birth certificates were ready for pick-up which we needed to do in person, so we made a quick trip to the registry office and then returned to the orphanage.

Ella's farewell party lasted about an hour and included most of the children from her group. The kids had prepared some songs and poems for us and after their performance, we had cake, juice and presents for everyone.  

What came next was really hard as we watched our little girl's heart break over saying goodbye to the only place and family she has ever known.  We understood that this would be difficult for her, but it was still a tough experience for everyone.

Farewell to the director

Farewell to the doctor

When we got into the car for the two hour ride to Yerevan, Ella was still crying.  Later she tearfully and persistently asked to be taken back to the orphanage and tried to negotiate her return there with our facilitator. We hit heavy traffic in Yerevan and between that and nerves and stress, Ella began vomiting repeatedly.  By the time we reached our apartment, she was covered in yuck and I was bracing for a long night.

Surprisingly, however, as soon as she was in the apartment with us, she calmed down. I cleaned her up with baby wipes (I knew a shower would be too much trauma) and got her into her pajamas and then she played for a while.  Later she went to bed with no issues, co-sleeping with me in one of our bedrooms.  She was chatty in bed and I couldn't understand her, so I just closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.  At that point she snuggled up to me and zonked out.  With my little girl finally in my arms, I soon followed suit.

Halloween 2014

Yesterday Ella experienced her first Halloween.  She was very pleased with the princess costume which she had requested and glad to meet her extended family, including cousins, for trick or treating.

Unfortunately, the weather was chilly, windy and sleety, so we didn't stay out for more than a half hour.  We still got way too much candy.  I tried all night to get good pictures of the kids, but didn't really succeed among all the crazy excitement that was going on.

Princess Anna and Princess Ella

Ella carefully reviewed her candy loot.  I didn't tell her how much candy she could have and was pleased to see her stop on her own after three or four pieces.

Since Reese's cups are Craig's favorite candy, we had to take a picture of Ella's first taste of them.

At some point, Emilia decided she didn't want to be Princess Anna from Frozen anymore and transformed herself into a witch.

And Rex, for the third year running, was the most adorable pumpkin ever.  He had the best time trick or treating this year.

As things were finally winding down, I was able to snap a picture of all three kids on the couch.

And that's it for Halloween 2014.