Tuesday, July 14, 2020
Happy Together Forever Day
Nine years ago we took our beautiful boy through the blue gates of an orphanage in Yerevan into his family ever after.
Tuesday, July 7, 2020
Happy New Year - This & That
July 1 is a second New Year's Day in our house because Craig works with a fiscal schedule that ends on June 30 and begins again on July 1. He's been working from home for nearly four months now and we've all very much enjoyed having him here with us. Sadly, he did have to miss out on his annual New Year's tradition at work where he decorates the office and shares a treat with his team on July 1. Craig is slated to go back to the office on July 20 on an every other week schedule and even the on weeks are just three or four days because Craig's regular schedule is 20-40% from home.
July 1 is also the official first day of the 20/21 school year in our state which means that home schoolers like Ella can begin counting their instruction hours toward the required amount. So, our big girl started 6th grade - sigh - this week and she's already completed over 2% of the total hours. We're focusing at the moment on math, social studies, PE, and health/safety.
School for Rex and Emilia is supposed to start on August 12. As of today, our district has not offered any information about what school will look like in 20/21, so we are waiting to decide how they will be educated in the coming months based on all options that will be available to them. Both have pre-existing medical conditions that place them at high risk for infection with Covid-19. Meanwhile, Emilia has been making excellent academic progress learning at home with me and Rex has been receiving his in-home therapy again which keeps him moving forward, too.
Independence Day was very low key for us because we are still socially distancing in order to protect our family. It was a scorching hot day, so we spent much of it in the pool. We barbecued for dinner and ate on the patio - corn, tomato salad, watermelon, sausages and garden burgers. At dusk, we were surprised with an amazing and long (about 90 mins) fireworks show that took place from the backyards of homes on our street and from neighborhoods all around us. What a great way to end the holiday and thanks to those in our community who invested their money and effort to make it happen.
July 1 is also the official first day of the 20/21 school year in our state which means that home schoolers like Ella can begin counting their instruction hours toward the required amount. So, our big girl started 6th grade - sigh - this week and she's already completed over 2% of the total hours. We're focusing at the moment on math, social studies, PE, and health/safety.
School for Rex and Emilia is supposed to start on August 12. As of today, our district has not offered any information about what school will look like in 20/21, so we are waiting to decide how they will be educated in the coming months based on all options that will be available to them. Both have pre-existing medical conditions that place them at high risk for infection with Covid-19. Meanwhile, Emilia has been making excellent academic progress learning at home with me and Rex has been receiving his in-home therapy again which keeps him moving forward, too.
Independence Day was very low key for us because we are still socially distancing in order to protect our family. It was a scorching hot day, so we spent much of it in the pool. We barbecued for dinner and ate on the patio - corn, tomato salad, watermelon, sausages and garden burgers. At dusk, we were surprised with an amazing and long (about 90 mins) fireworks show that took place from the backyards of homes on our street and from neighborhoods all around us. What a great way to end the holiday and thanks to those in our community who invested their money and effort to make it happen.
Friday, June 26, 2020
Self-Determination
Emilia is very petite for her age. At 10 years old, she weighs 52 pounds and is about 50 inches tall. She also has a severe speech impairment that makes verbal expressions challenging. People look at her and see a much younger child. Many assume that she does not understand our world. Yet, this girl is one of the most observant and contemplative children I know and she never misses even the tiniest details in her surroundings. She commits her experiences into a deep, rich store of memories which she processes and from which she draws continuously.
In recent months, we have been happy to see Emilia gather the confidence to express more about who she is as a preteen. In April, she let us know that she was ready to grow out her bangs and about two weeks ago she decided she wanted to cut her hair much shorter. She insisted until we finally made her an appointment with our trusted and wonderful Miss Kelly.
In recent months, we have been happy to see Emilia gather the confidence to express more about who she is as a preteen. In April, she let us know that she was ready to grow out her bangs and about two weeks ago she decided she wanted to cut her hair much shorter. She insisted until we finally made her an appointment with our trusted and wonderful Miss Kelly.
She's obviously filled with joy by her choice and new look...
Even though I loved her long hair and her bangs, self-determination is an important next step for our daughter and we want support it whenever possible.
Tuesday, June 23, 2020
Father's Day 2020
Happy belated Father's Day to the best there is!
In an ordinary day of parenting, pandemic or not, this dad makes breakfast smoothies and dessert hot fudge sundaes, kisses boo-boos, teaches home school math, helps with tooth brushing and baths, wears wigs and costumes as requested, jumps on the trampoline, unloads the dishwasher, sings and dances, creates hairdos, takes everyone where they need to be, repairs toys and many other things around the home, snuggles, cleans up bodily excretions, co-regulates, hands out compliments and advice, listens so well, and loves beyond measure. We'd never ever want to do life without him.
In an ordinary day of parenting, pandemic or not, this dad makes breakfast smoothies and dessert hot fudge sundaes, kisses boo-boos, teaches home school math, helps with tooth brushing and baths, wears wigs and costumes as requested, jumps on the trampoline, unloads the dishwasher, sings and dances, creates hairdos, takes everyone where they need to be, repairs toys and many other things around the home, snuggles, cleans up bodily excretions, co-regulates, hands out compliments and advice, listens so well, and loves beyond measure. We'd never ever want to do life without him.
Thursday, June 11, 2020
Friends From Hard Places
The earliest ties of children who spend time in institutional care are often with the peers that share their circumstances. These bonds are complicated and forged around personal survival, trauma, and other complex human issues. Therefore, if children with such attachments to one another leave the orphanage setting, it may be difficult for them to maintain these relationships at all or to improve the health of the relationship in light of the changed conditions for one or both.
My daughter struggles to define her own connection with another child whom she used to describe as her sister. They were so close for six years that they hid together when it came time to say goodbye. For years, my child experienced something like survivor's guilt over being adopted while her friend remained behind and pleaded with us often to add her friend to our family. And yet, when this first friend finally also joined her own adoptive parents in the US, the relationship became even more confusing. With regular contact now possible, my daughter found it difficult to align her new American girl self with her former orphan self. Memories floated to the surface and were pushed down again at the expense of healing the attachment. Old loyalties and new priorities were in question and at odds. Language was a barrier. Distance, while reduced, continues to be an obstacle.
Cognitively, my child realizes the value of this friendship because no one else in the world can understand and share her first six years more than this single individual. No one can take away what these girls experienced together and how they supported each other through a fraught early childhood. Emotionally, however, maintaining the relationship is taxing, because it requires, in part, a sustained and voluntary psychological return to the place and time which hurt each of them so deeply that they will carry the scars forever. Still, we press on in the hope that the future will bring healing and a renewed closeness for them both.
My daughter struggles to define her own connection with another child whom she used to describe as her sister. They were so close for six years that they hid together when it came time to say goodbye. For years, my child experienced something like survivor's guilt over being adopted while her friend remained behind and pleaded with us often to add her friend to our family. And yet, when this first friend finally also joined her own adoptive parents in the US, the relationship became even more confusing. With regular contact now possible, my daughter found it difficult to align her new American girl self with her former orphan self. Memories floated to the surface and were pushed down again at the expense of healing the attachment. Old loyalties and new priorities were in question and at odds. Language was a barrier. Distance, while reduced, continues to be an obstacle.
Cognitively, my child realizes the value of this friendship because no one else in the world can understand and share her first six years more than this single individual. No one can take away what these girls experienced together and how they supported each other through a fraught early childhood. Emotionally, however, maintaining the relationship is taxing, because it requires, in part, a sustained and voluntary psychological return to the place and time which hurt each of them so deeply that they will carry the scars forever. Still, we press on in the hope that the future will bring healing and a renewed closeness for them both.
Sunday, May 17, 2020
COVID-19 Diaries Week 9
Day 57 May 9 - I have decided that this will be my last week of the detailed diaries because Friday is the kids' last day of school and they'd be home with me thereafter even without a pandemic and because our state will be 90% back open by the end of this week. There's a new normal descending on our lives and I am sure it will be featured in our family blog in ways other than the Covid-19 diaries. We set a record for coldest temp on May 9 today at 28 degrees.
Day 58 May 10 - It's Mother's Day and many of you know that I would gladly skip all holidays because they are the hardest days of the year for my kids and rarely feel anything but stressful. Today was no different. I appreciated the gifts and cards and take out dinner, but would have traded it all for three little humans who didn't feel out of sync from the pressures of the holiday.
Day 59 May 11 - A very regular day of school work and house work and "work work."
Day 60 May 12 - We got our first CSA local farm box today. Among other yummy veggies, it included three kinds of fresh greens that made for a fragrant and delicious dinner salad.
Day 61 May 13 - I forgot to type my note at the end of the day and now I already don't recall yesterday's happenings which I guess means this was not a memorable day. Sometime this week though we learned that Craig will continue to work from home until at last July 6.
Day 62 May 14 - Finally a warm day again, so we let the kids go to town with the sprinkler after their school work was complete. Spring lunches and dinners are so good.
Day 63 May 15 - Today was the last day of third grade for my virtual twins. We had an art day to keep it light and fun. I went to Lowes to pick some plants/seeds for my garden after the last frosts of the season passed earlier in the week. Our neighbor brought a basket of freshly harvested greens which turned into a yummy lunch salad. And we got pizza for dinner to celebrate the end of the school year.
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| The new normal |
Day 58 May 10 - It's Mother's Day and many of you know that I would gladly skip all holidays because they are the hardest days of the year for my kids and rarely feel anything but stressful. Today was no different. I appreciated the gifts and cards and take out dinner, but would have traded it all for three little humans who didn't feel out of sync from the pressures of the holiday.
Day 59 May 11 - A very regular day of school work and house work and "work work."
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| Artwork by Ella |
Day 60 May 12 - We got our first CSA local farm box today. Among other yummy veggies, it included three kinds of fresh greens that made for a fragrant and delicious dinner salad.
Day 61 May 13 - I forgot to type my note at the end of the day and now I already don't recall yesterday's happenings which I guess means this was not a memorable day. Sometime this week though we learned that Craig will continue to work from home until at last July 6.
Day 62 May 14 - Finally a warm day again, so we let the kids go to town with the sprinkler after their school work was complete. Spring lunches and dinners are so good.
Day 63 May 15 - Today was the last day of third grade for my virtual twins. We had an art day to keep it light and fun. I went to Lowes to pick some plants/seeds for my garden after the last frosts of the season passed earlier in the week. Our neighbor brought a basket of freshly harvested greens which turned into a yummy lunch salad. And we got pizza for dinner to celebrate the end of the school year.
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| Fashion design by Emilia |
Saturday, May 9, 2020
COVID-19 Diaries Week 8
Day 50 May 2 - 50 days at home and other than on foot for walks, I have been out of the house only one single time and I don't remember for what purpose. Sometimes I wonder what it will feel like for me when I do step into a community setting again. Today was a gorgeous day with some hours spent poolside, barbecue, and all the winter coats getting washed and put away. Our front door baby birds were gone from the nest this morning, off into the world.
Day 51 May 3 - Torrential rains and it never really got light out all day. We cleaned the house and spent the afternoon reading, lazing, and watching TV. Ella and I started on the old PBS series Colonial House.
Day 52 May 4 - We have a new bird's nest under our patio roof. Another three babies and one just hatched. We enjoyed the sunshine today and took the kids on a walk/bike ride - Emilia was so thrilled to be allowed to ride her bike outside of our street and she rode for well over a mile.
Day 53 May 5 - Our weather has been so variable lately and it's confusing the kids, I think. One day they can swim and the next day they need jackets. Today we did school and had a surprise to the girls 6 feet apart visit with Ella's BFF.
Day 54 May 6 - Nothing special to report except that Craig drove and got me some of the Krispy Kreme limited time offer lime donuts. They are good, but these donuts were much smaller than usual, so...
Day 55 May 7 - A no school day for the two littles due to many work commitments by the parents. Weather was great, so outside time was helpful and plentiful. I made muffins to eat now and cinnamon rolls to freeze until Sunday and then a bread in the bread machine because we weren't going to make it to the store today after all. And Craig hurt his ankle on the trampoline.
Day 56 May 8 - With much effort, we got the school work done today and Craig hobbled through the store to get our groceries. I cooked ahead all the weekend's meals and then deep cleaned the kitchen including polishing the cabinets. I don't plan to do much more than microwave for the next 48 hours. Don't nobody else mess with this spic and span kitchen.
Day 51 May 3 - Torrential rains and it never really got light out all day. We cleaned the house and spent the afternoon reading, lazing, and watching TV. Ella and I started on the old PBS series Colonial House.
Day 52 May 4 - We have a new bird's nest under our patio roof. Another three babies and one just hatched. We enjoyed the sunshine today and took the kids on a walk/bike ride - Emilia was so thrilled to be allowed to ride her bike outside of our street and she rode for well over a mile.
Day 53 May 5 - Our weather has been so variable lately and it's confusing the kids, I think. One day they can swim and the next day they need jackets. Today we did school and had a surprise to the girls 6 feet apart visit with Ella's BFF.
Day 54 May 6 - Nothing special to report except that Craig drove and got me some of the Krispy Kreme limited time offer lime donuts. They are good, but these donuts were much smaller than usual, so...
Day 55 May 7 - A no school day for the two littles due to many work commitments by the parents. Weather was great, so outside time was helpful and plentiful. I made muffins to eat now and cinnamon rolls to freeze until Sunday and then a bread in the bread machine because we weren't going to make it to the store today after all. And Craig hurt his ankle on the trampoline.
Day 56 May 8 - With much effort, we got the school work done today and Craig hobbled through the store to get our groceries. I cooked ahead all the weekend's meals and then deep cleaned the kitchen including polishing the cabinets. I don't plan to do much more than microwave for the next 48 hours. Don't nobody else mess with this spic and span kitchen.
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