Monday, July 27, 2020
Monday, July 20, 2020
Illegal Change Of Placement
When Craig and I signed Emilia's new IEP into law in April 2019, we did not expect, based on the document itself, any significant changes for her in the 2019/20 school year. However, the moment we stepped foot into the Open House in August 2019, we realized that an illegal change of placement had occurred. It physically almost took my breath away to see Emilia's schedule and classroom and find out how and where she was expected to learn going forward. I could barely speak and felt a tsunami of disbelief, anger, and shock well up inside of me.
In IEP speak and in a nutshell, a change in placement for a student means that the definition of what is the least restrictive and most appropriate learning environment has changed. Change of placement is not necessarily about location - though it can be - but also about the specific curriculum, instruction and services received by the student. A change in placement is decided upon by the IEP team, including the parents, and must be agreed upon... and disclosed for that matter.
Following the Open House, I spent a few weeks gathering data. I made sure I had a detailed schedule from the school about how Emilia was spending her time, where, and with whom. The minutes she was spending outside of the mainstream classroom had been tripled over what was outlined and agreed upon in her IEP, making for an unlawful change in placement and reporting category. I also reached out to other district parents of children with special educational needs to gather more information about the specific classroom in which Emilia now largely spent her time.
On September 6, 2019,we had our first meeting with an education advocate who decided to take on Emilia's case. She requested a complete academic record for Emilia to get started - it took a long time to assemble and the district was slow in responding to my request for certain documents, too. While we built our case, Emilia had begun to regress academically, with life skills, and behaviorally. She was also quickly turning from a student who liked going to school into one who begged to be allowed to stay home every single day.
Finally, after many weeks of trying to schedule the IEP meeting requested by us, it was set for January 6, 2020 - the first day back from Christmas break. I was dreading the meeting and then, the night before, received an email from the advocate that she had been diagnosed with the flu and could not attend. Rather than canceling, I decided to go to the meeting alone and plead Emilia's case. For nearly three hours I tried to get the school to admit that they had illegally changed Emilia's placement and to rectify it, but some (though not all) team members insisted that no such thing had happened, that I did not understand the law, and that I did not understand Emilia's needs. I left the meeting deflated, but not defeated.
After another consultation with the advocate, we requested a facilitated IEP meeting with an ODE (Ohio Department of Education) mediator. Basically, we were bringing in the big guns now because this alerted the state's Department of Education to potential illegal actions in our district. Again, it took a while to get it on the schedule, but finally on March 6 it was time to battle. I wish the term battle didn't have to apply, but by this point the district had broken all trust with us and treated us in a patronizing and infantilizing manner for months.
Between the amazing ODE mediator and the advocate, Craig and I didn't really have to say much in this meeting. The district continued to deny they had done anything wrong until the mediator went to the whiteboard with the numbers, showing in minutes and percentages what had happened to Emilia's education... illegally. And then boom, the room went quiet and with a nod of the head by the District Special Education Supervisor, the battle was won. A huge weight fell off me in that moment and I was shaking so hard inside, holding back tears... but on the outside I looked calm and collected.
After a break for both parties to regroup, we spent the rest of the meeting devising a new schedule for Emilia to begin implementation the following week. I knew this would be an immensely difficult, but important transition for her. It hurt my heart that the district had created these challenging circumstances that Emilia would now have to overcome at great personal effort.
Then enter Covid-19... one week after that fateful IEP meeting, Ohio schools closed. This step was a tremendous blessing for Emilia who had not wanted to go to school for months and who had just begun a trying transition back to the least restrictive educational environment. Being at home for the last two months of the school year allowed Emilia to stabilize her mental health and to make real academic progress.
The school closure also meant that Emilia's regular annual IEP update would have to be completed virtually. We continued to have the support of the advocate and the mediator through the process and created a new IEP that sets high expectations for Emilia, gives her more one on one instruction in core academic areas, and returns her to the mainstream classroom for the great majority of each school day. We have an outstanding discussion yet with the district about compensatory education for the 215 hours of instruction in the general education curriculum Emilia was denied when her placement was changed unlawfully and without our consent.
We do not know yet what the 2020/21 school year will look like in our district, but we're hopeful that it will be a better year for Emilia than the previous school year. It's possible that Emilia will be home schooled to reduce the risk of Covid infection since she does have a pre-existing medical condition. If so, she will receive academic intervention and therapy services though a non-district professional provider.
While I wish we wouldn't have had to go through this painful experience, we learned a lot about Emilia as an individual and student, about our own strength as parents, and about the importance of getting the right help when needed.
In IEP speak and in a nutshell, a change in placement for a student means that the definition of what is the least restrictive and most appropriate learning environment has changed. Change of placement is not necessarily about location - though it can be - but also about the specific curriculum, instruction and services received by the student. A change in placement is decided upon by the IEP team, including the parents, and must be agreed upon... and disclosed for that matter.
Following the Open House, I spent a few weeks gathering data. I made sure I had a detailed schedule from the school about how Emilia was spending her time, where, and with whom. The minutes she was spending outside of the mainstream classroom had been tripled over what was outlined and agreed upon in her IEP, making for an unlawful change in placement and reporting category. I also reached out to other district parents of children with special educational needs to gather more information about the specific classroom in which Emilia now largely spent her time.
On September 6, 2019,we had our first meeting with an education advocate who decided to take on Emilia's case. She requested a complete academic record for Emilia to get started - it took a long time to assemble and the district was slow in responding to my request for certain documents, too. While we built our case, Emilia had begun to regress academically, with life skills, and behaviorally. She was also quickly turning from a student who liked going to school into one who begged to be allowed to stay home every single day.
Finally, after many weeks of trying to schedule the IEP meeting requested by us, it was set for January 6, 2020 - the first day back from Christmas break. I was dreading the meeting and then, the night before, received an email from the advocate that she had been diagnosed with the flu and could not attend. Rather than canceling, I decided to go to the meeting alone and plead Emilia's case. For nearly three hours I tried to get the school to admit that they had illegally changed Emilia's placement and to rectify it, but some (though not all) team members insisted that no such thing had happened, that I did not understand the law, and that I did not understand Emilia's needs. I left the meeting deflated, but not defeated.
After another consultation with the advocate, we requested a facilitated IEP meeting with an ODE (Ohio Department of Education) mediator. Basically, we were bringing in the big guns now because this alerted the state's Department of Education to potential illegal actions in our district. Again, it took a while to get it on the schedule, but finally on March 6 it was time to battle. I wish the term battle didn't have to apply, but by this point the district had broken all trust with us and treated us in a patronizing and infantilizing manner for months.
Between the amazing ODE mediator and the advocate, Craig and I didn't really have to say much in this meeting. The district continued to deny they had done anything wrong until the mediator went to the whiteboard with the numbers, showing in minutes and percentages what had happened to Emilia's education... illegally. And then boom, the room went quiet and with a nod of the head by the District Special Education Supervisor, the battle was won. A huge weight fell off me in that moment and I was shaking so hard inside, holding back tears... but on the outside I looked calm and collected.
After a break for both parties to regroup, we spent the rest of the meeting devising a new schedule for Emilia to begin implementation the following week. I knew this would be an immensely difficult, but important transition for her. It hurt my heart that the district had created these challenging circumstances that Emilia would now have to overcome at great personal effort.
Then enter Covid-19... one week after that fateful IEP meeting, Ohio schools closed. This step was a tremendous blessing for Emilia who had not wanted to go to school for months and who had just begun a trying transition back to the least restrictive educational environment. Being at home for the last two months of the school year allowed Emilia to stabilize her mental health and to make real academic progress.
The school closure also meant that Emilia's regular annual IEP update would have to be completed virtually. We continued to have the support of the advocate and the mediator through the process and created a new IEP that sets high expectations for Emilia, gives her more one on one instruction in core academic areas, and returns her to the mainstream classroom for the great majority of each school day. We have an outstanding discussion yet with the district about compensatory education for the 215 hours of instruction in the general education curriculum Emilia was denied when her placement was changed unlawfully and without our consent.
We do not know yet what the 2020/21 school year will look like in our district, but we're hopeful that it will be a better year for Emilia than the previous school year. It's possible that Emilia will be home schooled to reduce the risk of Covid infection since she does have a pre-existing medical condition. If so, she will receive academic intervention and therapy services though a non-district professional provider.
While I wish we wouldn't have had to go through this painful experience, we learned a lot about Emilia as an individual and student, about our own strength as parents, and about the importance of getting the right help when needed.
Tuesday, July 14, 2020
Happy Together Forever Day
Nine years ago we took our beautiful boy through the blue gates of an orphanage in Yerevan into his family ever after.
Tuesday, July 7, 2020
Happy New Year - This & That
July 1 is a second New Year's Day in our house because Craig works with a fiscal schedule that ends on June 30 and begins again on July 1. He's been working from home for nearly four months now and we've all very much enjoyed having him here with us. Sadly, he did have to miss out on his annual New Year's tradition at work where he decorates the office and shares a treat with his team on July 1. Craig is slated to go back to the office on July 20 on an every other week schedule and even the on weeks are just three or four days because Craig's regular schedule is 20-40% from home.
July 1 is also the official first day of the 20/21 school year in our state which means that home schoolers like Ella can begin counting their instruction hours toward the required amount. So, our big girl started 6th grade - sigh - this week and she's already completed over 2% of the total hours. We're focusing at the moment on math, social studies, PE, and health/safety.
School for Rex and Emilia is supposed to start on August 12. As of today, our district has not offered any information about what school will look like in 20/21, so we are waiting to decide how they will be educated in the coming months based on all options that will be available to them. Both have pre-existing medical conditions that place them at high risk for infection with Covid-19. Meanwhile, Emilia has been making excellent academic progress learning at home with me and Rex has been receiving his in-home therapy again which keeps him moving forward, too.
Independence Day was very low key for us because we are still socially distancing in order to protect our family. It was a scorching hot day, so we spent much of it in the pool. We barbecued for dinner and ate on the patio - corn, tomato salad, watermelon, sausages and garden burgers. At dusk, we were surprised with an amazing and long (about 90 mins) fireworks show that took place from the backyards of homes on our street and from neighborhoods all around us. What a great way to end the holiday and thanks to those in our community who invested their money and effort to make it happen.
July 1 is also the official first day of the 20/21 school year in our state which means that home schoolers like Ella can begin counting their instruction hours toward the required amount. So, our big girl started 6th grade - sigh - this week and she's already completed over 2% of the total hours. We're focusing at the moment on math, social studies, PE, and health/safety.
School for Rex and Emilia is supposed to start on August 12. As of today, our district has not offered any information about what school will look like in 20/21, so we are waiting to decide how they will be educated in the coming months based on all options that will be available to them. Both have pre-existing medical conditions that place them at high risk for infection with Covid-19. Meanwhile, Emilia has been making excellent academic progress learning at home with me and Rex has been receiving his in-home therapy again which keeps him moving forward, too.
Independence Day was very low key for us because we are still socially distancing in order to protect our family. It was a scorching hot day, so we spent much of it in the pool. We barbecued for dinner and ate on the patio - corn, tomato salad, watermelon, sausages and garden burgers. At dusk, we were surprised with an amazing and long (about 90 mins) fireworks show that took place from the backyards of homes on our street and from neighborhoods all around us. What a great way to end the holiday and thanks to those in our community who invested their money and effort to make it happen.
Friday, June 26, 2020
Self-Determination
Emilia is very petite for her age. At 10 years old, she weighs 52 pounds and is about 50 inches tall. She also has a severe speech impairment that makes verbal expressions challenging. People look at her and see a much younger child. Many assume that she does not understand our world. Yet, this girl is one of the most observant and contemplative children I know and she never misses even the tiniest details in her surroundings. She commits her experiences into a deep, rich store of memories which she processes and from which she draws continuously.
In recent months, we have been happy to see Emilia gather the confidence to express more about who she is as a preteen. In April, she let us know that she was ready to grow out her bangs and about two weeks ago she decided she wanted to cut her hair much shorter. She insisted until we finally made her an appointment with our trusted and wonderful Miss Kelly.
In recent months, we have been happy to see Emilia gather the confidence to express more about who she is as a preteen. In April, she let us know that she was ready to grow out her bangs and about two weeks ago she decided she wanted to cut her hair much shorter. She insisted until we finally made her an appointment with our trusted and wonderful Miss Kelly.
She's obviously filled with joy by her choice and new look...
Even though I loved her long hair and her bangs, self-determination is an important next step for our daughter and we want support it whenever possible.
Tuesday, June 23, 2020
Father's Day 2020
Happy belated Father's Day to the best there is!
In an ordinary day of parenting, pandemic or not, this dad makes breakfast smoothies and dessert hot fudge sundaes, kisses boo-boos, teaches home school math, helps with tooth brushing and baths, wears wigs and costumes as requested, jumps on the trampoline, unloads the dishwasher, sings and dances, creates hairdos, takes everyone where they need to be, repairs toys and many other things around the home, snuggles, cleans up bodily excretions, co-regulates, hands out compliments and advice, listens so well, and loves beyond measure. We'd never ever want to do life without him.
In an ordinary day of parenting, pandemic or not, this dad makes breakfast smoothies and dessert hot fudge sundaes, kisses boo-boos, teaches home school math, helps with tooth brushing and baths, wears wigs and costumes as requested, jumps on the trampoline, unloads the dishwasher, sings and dances, creates hairdos, takes everyone where they need to be, repairs toys and many other things around the home, snuggles, cleans up bodily excretions, co-regulates, hands out compliments and advice, listens so well, and loves beyond measure. We'd never ever want to do life without him.
Thursday, June 11, 2020
Friends From Hard Places
The earliest ties of children who spend time in institutional care are often with the peers that share their circumstances. These bonds are complicated and forged around personal survival, trauma, and other complex human issues. Therefore, if children with such attachments to one another leave the orphanage setting, it may be difficult for them to maintain these relationships at all or to improve the health of the relationship in light of the changed conditions for one or both.
My daughter struggles to define her own connection with another child whom she used to describe as her sister. They were so close for six years that they hid together when it came time to say goodbye. For years, my child experienced something like survivor's guilt over being adopted while her friend remained behind and pleaded with us often to add her friend to our family. And yet, when this first friend finally also joined her own adoptive parents in the US, the relationship became even more confusing. With regular contact now possible, my daughter found it difficult to align her new American girl self with her former orphan self. Memories floated to the surface and were pushed down again at the expense of healing the attachment. Old loyalties and new priorities were in question and at odds. Language was a barrier. Distance, while reduced, continues to be an obstacle.
Cognitively, my child realizes the value of this friendship because no one else in the world can understand and share her first six years more than this single individual. No one can take away what these girls experienced together and how they supported each other through a fraught early childhood. Emotionally, however, maintaining the relationship is taxing, because it requires, in part, a sustained and voluntary psychological return to the place and time which hurt each of them so deeply that they will carry the scars forever. Still, we press on in the hope that the future will bring healing and a renewed closeness for them both.
My daughter struggles to define her own connection with another child whom she used to describe as her sister. They were so close for six years that they hid together when it came time to say goodbye. For years, my child experienced something like survivor's guilt over being adopted while her friend remained behind and pleaded with us often to add her friend to our family. And yet, when this first friend finally also joined her own adoptive parents in the US, the relationship became even more confusing. With regular contact now possible, my daughter found it difficult to align her new American girl self with her former orphan self. Memories floated to the surface and were pushed down again at the expense of healing the attachment. Old loyalties and new priorities were in question and at odds. Language was a barrier. Distance, while reduced, continues to be an obstacle.
Cognitively, my child realizes the value of this friendship because no one else in the world can understand and share her first six years more than this single individual. No one can take away what these girls experienced together and how they supported each other through a fraught early childhood. Emotionally, however, maintaining the relationship is taxing, because it requires, in part, a sustained and voluntary psychological return to the place and time which hurt each of them so deeply that they will carry the scars forever. Still, we press on in the hope that the future will bring healing and a renewed closeness for them both.
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