Noncompliance Is A Skill

While enrolled in public school, all three of my children struggled with compliance, particularly with the daily minutiae of all the little explicit and implicit demands placed on young children to comply through a seven hour school day.

Middle Kiddo was bored to death by the repetitive and unrelenting nature of the school day and consequently became increasingly non-compliant to express his frustration.  He's also my child that knows unequivocally when he needs a break and is able to self-care at those times, if permitted.  Of course, he was not permitted because it was considered non-compliant.  And so we had a cycle of unmet needs and compliance challenges.  Noncompliance is a self-advocacy skill.

For Big Girl, the pressure to comply felt limiting.  She wanted more choices and more responsibility.  She's found them at her home school program where all students have freedom to decide as long as they are respectful to self and others as well as safe.  She doesn't need a hall pass to step out of class, she and her friends can choose from multiple lunch spots and have been known to carry tables and chairs out to the lawn near a busy street, and the students are actively involved in planning extracurricular events and maintaining the building.  She's in direct communication with her teachers regarding academic work and has, for example, been successful in negotiating alternate assignments, but also in terms of scheduling for things such as late arrivals and days missed.  Noncompliance is a leadership skill.

Little One was most severely affected by the individual compliance deemed necessary to run a classroom with 25 children and a building with roughly 550 students and staff.  As I have often mentioned, she described the school setting as a prison and a chokey.  She did not feel safe and everything about the school day was perceived as a threat.  Under such circumstances, trying to remain compliant for a long day was physically, emotionally, mentally, and behaviorally impossible for her and while it drained her on many levels, including her sense of curiosity and her zest for learning, she did manage to endure it.  Noncompliance is a survival skill.

An old Apple commercial comes to mind when I think of my still often non-compliant children...

"Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward."

Eighth Grade

It's July 1 and guess what this means for us? It's the start of the 22/23 school year.

Big Girl is now in 8th grade - whoa.  She is taking four classes at her home school school from September through May: high school level ASL 2, high school level Basic Language Arts, high school level Independent Study Fine Art, and a science class for grades 7 and 8.  This should be a challenging line-up, but I have a lot of confidence in her given her excellent evaluations at the end of 7th grade.

At home, beginning today, we will complete her high school Health credit and her high school P.E. credit.  With intensive work, these credits will be earned in early fall and added into her school transcript.  Then we will move on to pre-Algebra and Grade 8 US History for the remainder of the year.  Craig is excited about teaching the former and I the latter.

Ready, set, go!

Picture Of The Day

Little One has learned how to get her own breakfast, so who am I to argue when our tiniest family member chooses our largest mug?  I'm not even going to tell you what's in it.  Breakfast of champions ;-).

Flag Day 2022

Sometime in early spring,  Little One learned about Flag Day.  Not from me, mind you, probably from youtube.  She's always been very patriotic and her searches include various renditions of the national anthem and the Pledge of Allegiance.  Plus, she always keeps a couple of flags handy, no matter what time of year.  So, I am certain, she came upon Flag Day on the internet.

Little One immediately ran with the idea of this holiday and over the next few months worked her way to asking for a Flag Day Parade.  She was adamant, so we organized it by inviting our neighborhood friends to show off their patriotism with a parade on June 14 followed by some snacks at our house.  I wasn't sure how it would be received, but 15 kids and their families showed up to join Little One.  She was thrilled.

We had asked everyone to deck out strollers, bikes, selves... the crowd did not disappoint.

And it was great to spend some time together with neighbors who didn't mind reciting the Pledge of Allegiance a few times with Little One fearlessly leading the crowd.

Next up, our neighborhood Fourth of July block party.  Guess who's really excited for it?

Gestalt Language Processing

My child has worked with at least seven SLPs over the years.  None of them ever indicated that Gestalt Language Processing may be one of the challenges.  No one ever even mentioned it as a term.  And yet, ten out of twelve symptoms fully apply to my child.  I have even pointed them out to the therapists without knowing that they actually add up to "a thing."  Tonight, I came across this information by chance - if there is such - and now I have a lot of research and reading to do about how we can better help my child who is definitely a Gestalt Language Processor.

Happy Father's Day 2022

Happy Father's Day to the best of the best who loves us all so well every single day.  You are our rock, our safe place to land, and you have our hearts.

2022 NCFA Conference

Kids, just remember you had a three-day string of fabulous Indianapolis adventures with your dad while mama attended the NCFA Conference to be a better adoption professional and mom.