I'll try to keep this post as general as possible for privacy, but I would be amiss not to chronicle some tough adoption stuff that is happening as all three of our children are rapidly approaching adulthood and starting new phases of their lives that can change perspectives and impact relationships.
One of our children is now directly in touch with their family of origin. We have had contact with the family for many years and even met in person, but until recently I have served as a conduit, helping with some of the lost in translation situations and mitigating some cultural and personality differences. However, a recent interest in a closer relationship with a slightly younger full biological sibling brought about the direct contact which now also includes first mom and dad.
With that, our child has been asking some hard questions, requiring honesty, transparency and vulnerability from the family of origin which appears to exceed the family's current capacity to share and engage. Confusion and distrust are heightened by the fact that information from our child's original documents does not align with the first parents' stated narrative. Both our child and their sibling are now struggling for answers that may never come or never be enough.
As this process unfolds, I stand by to offer support when it's requested. I've been able to help with bouncing around thoughts and feelings, with reviewing documents, and with exploring potential scenarios based on what we do know and what might happen next. I maintain respect and compassion for the family of origin without diminishing our child's complicated, confounding views and evolving emotions as they sort out their own early (hi)story.
And even though this is a difficult time of growth for our child, I know we're lucky to have as much information as we do and to have access to a first family that is interested in a relationship the specifics of which remain yet to be developed.
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