Thursday, March 15, 2012

New List Of Confirmed Adopters - BLG

MOJ has released a new document that shows 50 confirmed adopters in order of registration who continue to wait actively for a referral. The earliest dossier listed is from October 2, 2006 and the newest from June 23, 2009, so the registrations from the second half of 2009 are not part of this statement. The youngest maximum age requested is 1 year, the oldest 8 years. Approximately two thirds of these dossiers request children of toddler age. Willingness for special needs is not indicated.

According to Google Translate, the list does not include:

1. Adopters who are in the process of motion for child and / or failure. In that period there are 46 record files in a proposal by WMO, of which 12 records a decision on entry in the register with a new number after deposited refuse and a record ahead decision by the WCO after deposited refuse. (I think this means there are 46 families registered by the end of June 2009 who have received a referral and are now in process of adopting that child. It sounds like some families declined their referrals and have been assigned new registration numbers for their continued wait.)

2. Adopters who have not confirmed the project during the previous year and / or expired permit for adoption / 21 records /. (These families may still be part of the wait line if they update their paperwork.)

3. Adopters who have requested the suspension of the project / 5 records /.

The good news is that it looks like there are only 50-71 families left who have waited anywhere from 5.5 years to 32 months. However, there are likely quite a few more registered dossiers from the second half of 2009 who have now waited upward of 24 months for a referral. I personally know some of those families as they were registered right around the time we were.

If you would like to view the original document, you can do so here:



Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Working Dad

May I just say that I love my husband so much? He is the most wonderful man to have by my side every single day. On Monday, he worked from home to take Emilia to the doctor and to help me with the many hours of re-hydration efforts. Do you see him here holding both kids while reading and sending work emails via his Blackberry? He is awesome!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Pleven Medical Fund

I would like to remind everyone that the fundraiser to provide medical care for the children at the large baby house in Pleven is continuing through the remainder of this month. Over $22,000 have been raised and I thank everyone who has contributed. Please spread the word as far and wide as you can. I know our social media are very powerful and hopefully we can find even more caring hearts who want to help these precious, defenseless, sick, and neglected children.

Shelley Bedford who called this fundraiser into being is in Bulgaria this week. She is meeting with the Tokuda Hospital team that is spearheading the medical care and setting up a variety of other aspects related to the medical fund. She has written an update about how the money will be spent. You can read it here:


Please give. Please share. Please stand up for the no longer forgotten children of the Pleven baby house.

IAC 210 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 210 held on 02/08/12:

1) Italian dossier from January 2009 referred a male child aged 2 years and 3 months with features in health status

2) Norwegian dossier from February 2009 referred a male child aged 2 years and 6 months

3) German dossier from March 2009 referred a male child aged 1 year and 4 months with features in health status

4) Canadian dossier from March 2009 referred a male child aged 3 years and 2 months

5) Italian dossier from September 2009 referred a female child aged 7 years and 2 months

6) U.S. dossier from March 2010 referred a biological brother and sister aged 2 years and 9 months and 1 year and 8 months with features in health status - dropped in the meantime received a waiver of adopters of the project

7) U.S. dossier from June 2010 referred twin brothers aged 1 year and 6 months with features in health status - dropped in the meantime received a waiver of adopters of the project

8) French dossier from October 2010 referred a female child aged 7 years and 11 months

9) U.S. dossier from November 2010 referred a biological brother and sister aged 9 years and 1 month and 7 years

10) Italian dossier from December 2010 referred a male child aged 8 years and 3 months

11) Italian dossier from January 2011 referred a female child aged 7 years and 11 months

12) Italian dossier from December 2011 referred a waiting child (#1566) with a profile on the MOJ site

13) U.S. dossier from February 2012 referred two waiting children (#1469 & #1103) with profiles on the MOJ site
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Please note: As stated in my post about special needs adoptions, most toddlers referred in this session, whether healthy or not, were matched with families who had waited just under 36 months for their referrals. In addition, I do not know what exactly happened with the two referrals that were dropped due to the poor quality of the translation. I assume that maybe the families had dropped out of the program before they knew they had these referrals or that they changed their parameters.

My Sick Baby Girl

Last week the Martini family collectively got sick. I don't know if it was from the waterpark which was, no doubt, crawling with germs or if it had something to do with the weather going from sunny 60s to icy winds with snow on the ground in the course of a day. Whatever it was, our household was hit with fevers, nasty coughs, runny noses, achiness, low appetite, tiredness... you get the picture. Of everyone, Rex held up the best. He caught a little extra sleep here and there, but other than that, went on playing and eating and being active, only occasionally rattled by a cough or a sneeze. He's my iron Armenian boy.

Emilia, on the other hand, was hit the hardest. She felt a little off for Rex's birthday party and then at the beginning of last week, she was running a fever and very tired. She slept off and on for about 48 hours, but continued to drink juices and eat purees. I wasn't pushing any more solid foods because I know when I have a fever, food is not a priority to my body. By Wednesday morning, Emilia's fever had broken and I thought she was on the mend. She started being more active again, but then the nasty cough did her in. Poor thing, it was painful to watch her be rattled all day long with coughing fits. I was still able to get her to take some fluids, but she really wasn't eating. I figured her throat hurt from coughing.

Well, starting on Friday, Emilia really lost her will to take anything by mouth. We spoon-fed her liquids through the weekend, but she was not happy about it at all. I could see the signs of dehydration in her, so Craig took her to our pediatrician yesterday. I was incredibly shocked when he called me from her office and said that Emilia had weighed in at 15.6 pounds. They weighed her twice to make sure the scale was working. On 2/17, she had weighed 19.7 pounds. I could not believe that she lost four pounds in a week.

The doctor's thought is that Emilia either has/had a viral or bacterial infection. She is taking antibiotics now just in case it's bacterial. She does have an ear infection of undetermined cause as well. When Craig left the doctor's office yesterday, he had strict orders to get 20 oz of liquid into Emilia before bed or she would have to be hospitalized. So, we spent our afternoon and evening spooning applesauce and peach puree and juice into Emilia's mouth. She was very unhappy with us while receiving her food, but feeling great in-between meals. To make a long story short, we got 22 ounces into Emilia, very painstakingly. Based on the doctor's various scenarios, this means that we have to get her to eat and drink at least 20 ounces again today and then we have to come back in tomorrow for a decision about hospitalization.

Everyone please send some good thoughts to Emilia to regain her will to eat and drink, so that she can stay out of the hospital. Thank you.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Let's Talk Special Needs Adoption

I have been mulling over this blog post for a long time because I think it is important to have a discussion about what is considered a special need in international adoption, specifically from Bulgaria. I am going to come right out and tell you that at the end of this post you will not have a definitive answer, but maybe some food for thought instead.

There are many different definitions of special needs. Parents, social workers, placing agencies, foreign partner agencies, and foreign governments all have their own views of what’s considered a special need. While some prospective adoptive parents might list needing glasses or having a food allergy as special needs they would accept or consider, these conditions may not even be on the radar of a foreign government in terms of special needs. On the other hand, being a member of a large, healthy sibling group that must be adopted together might be a special need in the eyes of that same government. A social worker may consider Down Syndrome a significant special need while the family hoping to adopt a child with just that extra chromosome might only think of his or her accompanying heart defect as a special need. A placing agency may tell you that children’s advanced age is sometimes their only special need and a foreign government may refer a child with repaired club feet as healthy.

When I meet new families now who are just starting their Bulgarian adoption journeys, they often tell me that they are open to mild and correctable/moderate special needs. Of course, what this entails for each of these families is hard to know. Our story went like this:

In our very first home study, our approval read as follows, “Craig and Viviane Martini are approved to adopt from Bulgaria one to two children of either gender between the ages of 0-36 months at the time of referral, preferably as young as possible, and in good health relative to orphanage care. The family might consider on a case by case basis a child or children who have some minor correctable needs, such as allergies, missing/fused fingers or toes, cleft lip, and needing glasses.” Looking back on it now, the only thing on this list that the Bulgarian MOJ would probably have considered a note-worthy special need is cleft lip/palate.

Later when we revised our parameters, the home study read, “The Martini family is approved to adopt up to two children of either gender as healthy as possible relative to orphanage care and with minor and correctable medical and emotional needs including, but not limited to, allergies, asthma, cleft lip/palate, club foot/hand, delayed development, diabetes, exzema, fused fingers and toes, Hepatitis A, hearing impairment, hernia, hypospadias, needing glasses, premature or smaller in size, between the ages of 0-36 months at the time of referral with a preference for a child 0-24 months from Bulgaria.”

At that point, MOJ had also created a special needs document we filled out. We said yes to the following conditions: child born of incest, child born of rape, jaundice, umbilical hernia, lactose intolerance, any scars from delivery, Mongolian spots, raised angioma, small nevuses and burn scars, blind in one eye, vision problems correctable with glasses or surgery, cleft lip/palate, ear infections, heart murmur, ASD, VSD, hernia, parasites, missing fingers or toes, webbed fingers or toes, asthma, allergies, bronchitis, pulmonitis, digestion problems, poor nourishment, controlled seizures, hypospadias, and anemia. We also said maybe/would consider to 50 other conditions. Once we had submitted our updated paperwork after a year’s wait, we were matched with Emilia within four months. Emilia has a heart defect (VSD), failure to thrive and significant developmental delays. We did not know until we brought her home that she also has a moderate milk allergy and is anemic. In addition, Emilia has some factors in her family history that could be of concern and might have deterred other families from accepting her referral.

As many of you know, I have the list of registered dossiers through the end of 2009 which at one point was accessible on the MOJ site. This list shows when a dossier was submitted, when registered, the country from which it came, as well as the number and maximum age of child(ren) requested. By my most recent count and unless these families have dropped out of the program, there are still 5 families waiting from 2006, 11 from 2007, and 24 families from 2008. I think it is safe to assume that they have requested fully healthy children who are developmentally on target and that there may even be an ethnic preference expressed in the requests. Unless dropped out, there are 34 families remaining who want to adopt two or more children and 183 families registered in 2009. It’s certain that the greater the number of children and the narrower your age and health parameters, the longer your referral wait.

I have read dozens of reports for kids matched through the main procedure and for waiting children. Some needs that I recall as being most frequently listed: mental illness/retardation in the family, mild/moderate mental delays/retardation in the child, moderate to severe speech delays, congenital diseases that are now cured, heart defects, strabismus, limb differences, hydrocephalus (with or without a shunt), spina bifida, short stature, epilepsy/seizures, premature birth, cerebral palsy, cleft lip/palate, and hearing impairment. Some children are described as having anomalies in the phenotype, but genetic testing came back with no issues. Quite often there are children who are physically healthy but noticeably delayed in development or children developmentally on target with physical disabilities.

So what is a special need? Obviously it depends who you ask, but in my opinion as an adoptive mother who has watched Bulgarian referral statistics very closely for the last two years, it would be foolish to submit a request to MOJ for a toddler with needs like glasses, a missing finger, or lactose intolerance and consider it a special needs adoption. However, a child with a correctable heart defect and developmental delays may be on the special needs radar of MOJ as would any child upward of seven years old. I don’t recommend to anyone that you indicate openness to special needs with which you are not comfortable. However, I do suggest that you educate yourself about what certain special needs might entail. Don’t just read the potentially scary Wikipedia entry, but also try to connect with parents who have children with a particular special need to see what it’s really like. You may be surprised. I also advise that you keep a realistic outlook on the referral wait you might expect, especially if you are just starting out on your adoption journey or are newly registered. Unless the process changes, for a healthy or nearly healthy Bulgarian toddler with few developmental delays, the wait seems to be at least 24 months now, sometimes closer to 36. For children with moderate, correctable or severe special needs and older children, the time to referral seems to be 12 months or less.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Consignment Palooza

Today I went to my favorite bi-annual children’s consignment sale at a local elementary school. You have to get up early to arrive when the doors open, but it’s worth it. Meanwhile, Craig and the kids met up with his cousin and his little boys for breakfast. I think they had a nice time doing some daddy talk and entertaining the kiddos.


As always, I came across some great finds at the sale.

Rex

2 short-sleeved shirts

2 long-sleeved shirts

3 pairs of shorts

1 pair of shorts overalls

1 pair of corduroy pants (looks brand-new)

1 jacket (looks like it was never worn)

Emilia

1 jacket

3 zip-up sweaters

4 pairs of shorts

1 skort

1 pair of pants

2 short-sleeved shirts

1 long-sleeved shirt

1 pair of tights

Some of these clothes are brandname (Gap, Carters, Children’s Place, etc.). I just can never believe the variety, quality and price you find at this sale. Anyway, I know you’re waiting for it… my grand total for this loot of clothing… $17.00.