When Waiting Hurts

Two years ago another Hopscotch family suddenly lost their Georgian sweetheart as they were picking him up to finally come home to the United States.  I don't know the family personally, but I am passing on this link to remember Evan and celebrate his life.

http://hopscotchadoptions.wordpress.com/2012/07/17/when-waiting-hurts/

For some if us who have adopted, enduring unnecessary and painful waits caused by bureaucratic red tape while knowing that each passing day endangered our children's physical survival or mental/emotional health, this story is an important reminder that we must continue to advocate for waiting children and to ask officials around the world to be as efficient as possible in joining these precious children to their forever families.

Big Developments

One year ago, Rex left the orphanage an angry, frustrated, shut-down toddler goliath trapped at an infant developmental stage.  Once home, he was evaluated for his development using the Denver II on August 15, 2011 at 29 months old with the following results:

Gross motor – 16 months

Fine motor – 10 months

Social-emotional-personal – 6 months

Language – 9 months (this was later amended by a speech pathologist to 6 months)

He was basically like an ill-adjusted 9 months old all around, except that he could walk and had an enormous physical strength and iron will.

Eleven months later, eleven months of having love from parents, of living in a safe home with nutritious food, well-fitting clothing, quiet sleep, opportunities to explore and learn, eleven months of intense therapy with qualified professionals and our son was evaluated again on July 16, 2012 with the same testing tool.  He is now 40 months old and scored:

Gross Motor - 30 months (+14 mo)

Fine Motor – 24 months (+14 mo)

Social-emotional-personal – 18 months (+ 12 mo)

Language – 17 months (+ 11 mo)

The second test administered on 7/16/12, the Vineland, showed that Rex’s raw scores in the areas of communication, daily living skills, and socialization have tripled while gross motor has doubled from the 8/15/11 results.  His composite score has moved from the 50s into the 60s based on a mean of 100, so he’s inching up there, slowly but surely.

In June, one of Rex’s board-certified therapists updated yet another developmental assessment on him. She had done the initial evaluation in January but did not tell me because she said the results were too depressing.  This test looks at a child’s basic language, life, and learning skills from birth through the end of first grade.  To describe the test, imagine 25 columns (or towers) each representing a different area of development.  They are made up of bricks which symbolize specific skills.  A brick gets colored in once a child has mastered the skill.  There are a total of 1484 bricks to be acquired.

Six months ago, Rex only had 34 bricks under his belt.  That’s just over 2% of the total.  As of last month, he has gained 73 additional bricks, making it 117 mastered skills.  That’s almost 8% of the total.  We have seen the greatest gains in eating skills, gross motor and fine motor, receptive language, requesting and cooperation.  Keep in mind, too, that some of the towers aren’t even applicable yet (things like classroom routines and spelling) and that Rex has four more years to get all the bricks colored in to be on target. 

Based on the results of all three tests, Rex has now left infancy solidly behind and is full steam ahead into toddlerhood.  He's like an almost two-year-old across the board, so handle accordingly.

To some parents of neuro-typicals for whom things come naturally or quickly, who are stars in their classrooms and on the athletic fields, and who will take the nation’s elite universities by storm, this may not seem like much.  But to me, the mother of a child with special needs and a grim prognosis who I realize is still quite delayed, this means everything.  Rex’s hard work is paying off as is Craig’s and mine and that of his wonderful therapists.  We’re so proud of you, son.

Armenian Cucumbers

I planted these cucumbers as a tribute to Rex and his birth country this year.  Lo and behold, we are going to be able to enjoy a harvest.

And this evening we had our first home-grown tomatoes and fresh basil from the garden.  What a long-awaited flavor explosion!

Celebration = Epic Fail

Rex's Together Forever Day started off perfectly.  We spent a low key morning at home, enjoying the desperately needed rain through the windows, swinging in the basement, having a smoothie.  Then we headed out for about an hour to run some errands, came back for lunch, and had the kids down for naps almost at the usual hour.

Before the naps, Craig called Dewey's Pizza (remember Rex's love of this local delight?) to make dinner reservations for eight.  No such luck, they don't take reservations on Saturday, but we were assured that the rush didn't start until 5:30 or 6:00 and that we wouldn't have a problem getting a table for our larger group if we arrived any earlier.  So, around 4:30 our family along with Auntie and the cousins headed for Newport on the Levee in Northern Kentucky.  Of course, there was a street festival going on, so we lost some time with parking and finally made it to Dewey's door at 5:18.  Craig approached the hostess about a table and was told there was a 50 minute wait.  Bam, just like that.  Craig and I instantly knew that at least three of the kids who were with us would not be able to last through this wait, then the wait for the food to arrive, the actual meal and the ride home.  So, we decided to get some carry-out pizza and find a spot to eat it.  

We ended up devouring our Together Forever Day celebration dinner on the floor of a mezzanine balcony in the mall off paper plates with plastic forks in most humid conditions.  And you know what?  It actually was fun and definitely memorable.

Who needs a table?

I love how my little nephew is using his cutlery here.
Also notice his shoes on the ledge... too funny.

Even though he was sweaty hot,
Rex enjoyed his favorite pizza.

"You know what, Sister,
these parents of ours have no clue what they're doing."

I forgot to ask my sister-in-law to take a family photo,
so here's a self-portrait from the car ride home.
Quite fitting for how our celebration turned out.

Happy Together Forever Day, Rex!  We may be a strange bunch with unpredictable adventures, but we love you like crazy cakes.

Here Comes The Son - July 14, 2011

IAC 224 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC session 224 which was held on June 13, 2012:

1) French dossier from August 2009 referred a male child aged 2 years and 1 month with features in health status and a family history

2) French dossier from November 2009 referred a male child aged 5 years and 11 months with features in health status and a family history

3) Italian dossier from June 2011 referred a male child aged 7 years and 7 months with features in health status and a family history

4) US dossier from August 2011 referred a female child aged 11 months with features in health status and a family history

5) US dossier from March 2012 referred a male child aged 1 year and 7 months with features in health status

6) US dossier from May 2012 referred a waiting child (#1760) with a profile on the MOJ site

7) US dossier from June 2012 referred two waiting children (#1609 & #1628) with profiles on the MOJ site

8) US dossier from June 2012 referred a waiting child (#1038) with a profile on the MOJ site


9) Swedish dossier from June 2012 referred a waiting child (#1783) with a profile on the MOJ site

Thanks to Ministry officials for fixing the link so quickly.

IAC 223 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC session 223 which was held on June 5, 2012:

1) Italian dossier from April 2009 referred a female child aged 4 years and 10 months

2) German dossier from May 2010 referred a female child aged 2 years and 8 months with features in health status

3) Italian dossier from August 2011 referred a male child aged 8 years and 10 months

4) Italian dossier from October 2011 referred a male child aged 8 years

5) Italian dossier from November 2011 referred a male child aged 8 years and 6 months

6) Italian dossier from January 2012 referred a waiting child (#1214) with a profile on the MOJ site

7) French dossier from May 2012 referred a waiting child (#1794) with a profile on the MOJ site

MOJ also released the results from IAC session 224, but at the moment the link opens up a blank document, so I will keep checking in hopes that the problem will be fixed soon.