July 11, 2011

Two years ago today, I cried my eyes out and literally sweated through my clothes in this Armenian courthouse as the judge grilled me about why we wanted to adopt Rex, how we would provide for him, why we chose a new name for him, why she should waive the 30 day wait, why I was crying, etc.  I think I was on the spot for maybe 20 minutes which felt like an eternity.

After court and with the judge's decision pending until the next day, we went to visit Rex at his orphanage.  He was so happy to be outside, but not sure about the swing at first.

It didn't take long until he began to enjoy it and feel safe with his daddy.

I really cannot believe it's been two years.  These first days in Armenia with Rex are so clearly etched into my memory, it all feels like yesterday.  

Rex spent 863 days as an orphan, 864 days in orphanage care.  Later this year, on my dad's birthday, the scales will tip in our favor and Rex will have been in our family one day longer than he was in state care.  One day and counting to forever.

Our Swiss Miss Adventure

In late winter or early spring, Craig and I happily decided to host a 16 year old girl from Switzerland for the summer.  Swiss Miss was to stay with us for eight weeks and in exchange for free room and board, a small weekly stipend, and the opportunity to experience America, she agreed to help care for Emilia for about 30 hours a week.  I explained that our household was busy with two special needs preschoolers who live loudly and sometimes wildly, but made sure she knew that working with Emilia is not difficult because she is sweet and affectionate and grateful for any attention, from going on walks to having someone sing to her.

Unfortunately, after just over two weeks, our Swiss Miss adventure has come to an end.  During her first week here, we made a lot of concessions to Swiss Miss, blaming jetlag and a lack of experience with young children for her behavior, but we soon realized that the real reasons went far beyond what we could ever have anticipated when we invited her for the summer.  I have been in touch with Swiss Miss's mom on an almost daily basis and know that Swiss Miss asked to be allowed to return home nearly as soon as she got here.  This fact alone tells me that the problems we experienced had little, if anything, to do with us, and are long-standing, reaching much deeper than Swiss Miss missing her boyfriend and feeling out of her comfort zone with our children.

Craig and I are saddened by the outcome of this adventure.  I had an amazing experience as a high school exchange student at 16 years old and was so excited to offer a similar opportunity to another young woman. Of course, having lived it, I understand the stressful and overwhelming nature of joining a strange family in an unfamiliar culture, but I also know that in order to make it work, you have to face your fears and jump in, get through those growing pains quickly and open up to what's offered.  Swiss Miss was not able or willing to do so.  She spent almost all hours of every day in her room on the phone or computer with her friends and boyfriend in Switzerland.  Even when she did join us for a meal or an outing or a rare hour of helping me with Emilia, she was constantly hooked to her technology and not truly present with us.  In ten short days, Swiss Miss turned down a visit to downtown Cincinnati, a road trip to Tennessee, and a morning shopping spree.  She did go on a two hour zipline tour with our teen nephew, but did not interact with him there.  We tried very hard to make her feel welcome and comfortable in our family, but we did not succeed.

Still, Craig and I do not regret opening our hearts and home and would take a chance again with another young woman in the future.  We wish Swiss Miss and her family well and appreciate the learning experience they afforded us this summer.

Siblings

Pay It Forward May/June

I know I am running a bit late on this post since it's been crazy here (more on that in a few days), but I still wanted to let you know where our Pay It Forward money went for these last two months.

The first family we decided to support are the Wrights.  I have been in touch with Marriya Wright for about a year because she's mom to Miss Bozhi from Bulgaria, a teen for whom I advocated a few times.  Miss B came home in March and is eagerly awaiting the arrival of two more family members, 17 year-old Nora and 14-year-old Ani who are bio sisters.  These three girls have spent several years together as friends in the same orphanage.  The Wrights met Nora and Ani on their first trip to visit Bozhi and decided to adopt them as well.  Bringing home three teens in a year in two different adoption procedures is no small feat, so we donated $50 to the Wrights.  You can follow their journey here and if you are interested in helping them financially, please email me at viviane 8 at yahoo dot com and I will put you in touch with Marriya.

The second fundraiser we supported with a $10 contribution is a yummy one... can you say Krispy Kreme?  It's a tax deductible donation through Project Hopeful to help a little girl from China come home to her family.  You can find the details for the Krispy Kreme fundraiser here or go directly to Project Hopeful's Urgent Needs site and scroll down until you see Corrie to make a donation.

I can't believe that Pay It Forward 2013 is half over.  If you would like us to consider a specific family, fundraiser, child, or orphan cause for July, please let us know.

IAC 255 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 255 held on May 20, 2013:

1) Italian dossier from January 2009 referred a female child aged 6 years and 8 months

2) French dossier from January 2010 referred a male child aged 4 years and 11 months

3) US dossier from March 2010 referred a male child aged 1 year and 7 months

4) US dossier from April 2010 referred a female child aged 4 years and 1 month

5) Spanish dossier from April 2010 referred a male child aged 1 year and 9 months

6) Dutch dossier from July 2010 referred a brother and sister aged 5 years and 3 months & 6 years and 3 months

7) French dossier from August 2010 referred a female child aged 2 years and 2 months with features in health status and a family history

8) German dossier from January 2011 referred a male child aged 3 years and 2 months with features in health status and a family history

9) French dossier from February 2011 referred a female child aged 3 years and 2 months with features in health status

10) German dossier from May 2011 referred a female child aged 2 years and 1 month with features in health status

11) Irish dossier from May 2011 referred a male child aged 1 year and 7 months with features in health status and a family history

12) Italian dossier from July 2011 referred brothers aged 7 years and 8 months & 6 years and 7 months

13) US dossier from December 2011 referred a child (gender not listed) aged 1 year and 10 months with features in health status and a family history

14) US dossier from June 2012 referred a female child aged 3 years and 10 months with features in health status and a family history

15) French dossier from August 2012 referred three brothers aged 7 years and 2 months & 6 years & 8 years and 4 months

16) Italian dossier from November 2012 referred a female child aged 9 years

17) French dossier from December 2012 referred a waiting child (#2144) with a profile on the MOJ site

18) US dossier from December 2012 referred a waiting child (#2100) with a profile on the MOJ site

19) US dossier from May 2013 referred a waiting child (#1806) with a profile on the MOJ site

20) US dossier from May 2013 referred a waiting child (#1875) with a profile on the MOJ site

21) US dossier from May 2013 referred two waiting children (#1910 & #1911) with profiles on the MOJ site

IAC 254 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 254 which was held on May 8, 2013:

1) Spanish dossier from March 2010 referred a male child aged 3 years and 10 months

2) German dossier from March 2010 referred a male child aged 5 years and 5 months

3) US dossier from May 2010 referred a female child aged 4 years and 1 months with features in health status

4) Italian dossier from May 2010 referred a female child aged 6 years and 2 months

5) Italian dossier from August 2010 referred a female child aged 5 years and 6 months with features in health status and a family history

6) Italian dossier from November 2010 referred a female child aged 7 years and 6 months

7) French dossier from March 2011 referred a female child aged 8 years and 9 months

8) Italian dossier from June 2011 referred a male child aged 7 years and 2 months

9) Irish dossier from July 2011 referred a male child aged 7 years and 7 months with features in health status

10) French dossier from August 2011 referred a female child aged 7 years and 6 months

11) Italian dossier from December 2012 referred two female children aged 9 years and 4 months & 9 years

12) US dossier from April 2013 referred a waiting child (#1550) with a profile on the MOJ site

13) Italian dossier from April 2013 referred a waiting child (#1055) with a profile on the MOJ site

14) US dossier from April 2013 referred a waiting child (#1837) with a profile on the MOJ site

15) US dossier from April 2013 referred a waiting child (#1914) with a profile on the MOJ site

16) US dossier from May 2013 referred two waiting children (#1279 & #1034) with profiles on the MOJ site

17) US dossier from May 2013 referred a waiting child (#1298) with a profile on the MOJ site

18) Swedish dossier from April 2013 referred a waiting child (#1339) with a profile on the MOJ site

19) Italian dossier from April 2013 referred a waiting child (#2119) with a profile on the MOJ site

Bulgarian Adoptive Families Reunion 2013

As many of you know, I am a co-organizer of a weekend-long reunion of families who have adopted from Bulgaria.  This was our third year and I think we did better than ever though, of course, it's a work in progress and we do learn and adjust from year to year.  

We had over thirty families in attendance and nearly as many children of all ages from Bulgaria.  We had a wonderful time reconnecting with old friends and making new ones and sharing laughs, advice, and experiences.  Even though it is time-consuming work for me to put this event together with my friend Yvonne, I am so thrilled to be a part of it and can't wait until Emilia is really able to understand what this weekend is all about.

The impossible family photo

Emilia on the move

Rex was fascinated with the water pump

Surrounded by children choosing prizes

Emilia testing a big girl bike

A young chap from Dobrich
in hot pursuit of his potential future bride
who is also from Dobrich

If you are interested in joining our reunion next year, please email bulgarianreunion at yahoo dot com for more information.

P.S. Not sure why the pictures are coming in off center.  Tried to fix it, but you all know my limited tech abilities.