Haircuts Galore

My big little girl has been begging me for months to let her get her hair cut much shorter.  She has very beautiful hair, thick and wavy, but it's also very hot, especially for an active Kindergartener.  So, I promised her that when spring arrived, she and I both would get haircuts.  We each had enough hair to spare for a donation to Children with Hair Loss.

This was Ella's first haircut at a salon.  She thoroughly enjoyed every moment of the experience and, being a born entertainer, she had the entire place in stitches with her commentary.

She was thrilled when the eight inches came off.

"This feels so good!"

Supermodel

And now here we are with our summer dos.  And, by the way, our hair will never look this sleek again.  We're an air-drying kind of family.

Positively giddy about her short hair

IAC 312 & 313 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 312 which was held on March 19, 2015:

1) Greek dossier from May 2010 referred a brother and sister aged 5 years and 7 months & 4 years and 5 months

2) German dossier from September 2011 referred a female child aged 2 with features in health status

3) Italian dossier from September 2012 referred a brother and sister aged 5 years and 9 months & 7 years and 5 months with features in health status

4) Italian dossier from April 2013 referred a female child aged 8 years and 2 months with features in health status

5) Italian dossier from December 2014 referred three waiting children (#2826 &2827 # & #2828) with profiles on the MOJ site

6) US dossier from March 2015 referred two waiting children (#2553 & #2554) with profiles on the MOJ site

7) US dossier from March 2015 referred  a waiting child (#2452) with a profile on the MOJ site

8) US dossier from March 2015 referred  a waiting child (#2629) with a profile on the MOJ site

9) US dossier from March 2015 referred  a waiting child (#2709) with a profile on the MOJ site

10) US dossier from March 2015 referred  a waiting child (#2837) with a profile on the MOJ site

11) US dossier from March 2015 referred three waiting children (#2677 & #2680 & #2681) with profiles on the MOJ site

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The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 313 which was held on March 26, 2015:

1) Canadian dossier from November 2010 referred a male child aged 1 year and 4 months

2) Spanish dossier from November 2010 referred two brothers aged 4 years and 8 months & 3 years and 1 month

3) US dossier from September 2013 referred a male child 1 year and 4 months with features in health status

4) US dossier from December 2014 referred a waiting child (#2876) with a profile on the MOJ site

5) Italian dossier from December 2014 referred a male child aged 9 years and 10 months

6) Italian dossier from January 2015 referred two sisters aged 10 years and 1 month & 8 years and 6 months

7) US dossier from February 2015 referred a male child aged 7 years and 5 months with features in health status

8) Italian dossier from February 2015 referred a brother sand sister aged 9 years and 8 months & 8 years and 5 months with features in health status

9) US dossier from March 2015 referred two waiting children (#2157 & #2158) with profiles on the MOJ site

10) US dossier from March 2015 referred a female child aged 12 years and 7 months

11) US dossier from March 2015 referred a waiting child (#2332) with a profile on the MOJ site

12) US dossier from March 2015 referred a waiting child (#2687) with a profile on the MOJ site

13) US dossier from March 2015 referred a waiting child (#2595) with a profile on the MOJ site

Spring By Ella

Trauma

I have been thinking a lot about trauma lately, specifically in terms of what my children likely experienced in their earliest years.  Of my children, Emilia was most affected in this area and even after more than three years home, the aftermath of trauma in her life is still just under the surface on many days.  Implicit traumatic memories can be triggered at any moment and sometimes we know what bubbles them over (a single harsh word spoken in the wrong second can make tears well up in her eyes), but often we do not.  We simply see the tell-tale signs in our Emilia: sucking her thumb, covering her eyes and/or ears, screaming, being nearly inconsolably sad and weepy, clinging to us, withdrawing and shutting down, etc.

Emilia at the orphanage in Dobrich
in April 2011
covering her ears
during one of our visits

I went back to these two articles to refresh my understanding of trauma and reading them this time around, I realized that Emilia's language delay due to apraxia is an obstacle to her processing her implicit memories and linking them with an explicit narrative that helps her make sense of what happened to her in the past and puts it into proper perspective.  At this time, Emilia cannot tell us what triggers her memories nor can she express what she remembers or thinks she does.  Consequently, we are limited in our ability to discuss it with her and provide her with her own history, good and bad, as we factually know it.  It hit me really hard when I realized how much Emilia's struggle with communication impacts every area of her life and growth, including understanding and sorting out her own story.

As her mom, I have to do more now to help her in this particular area.  I need to create a very visual lifebook for her as soon as possible.  It probably won't be more than a series of photos and images trying to capture her first five years in broad strokes.  We can look at them together and I can talk about what I know and infer about her history.  I hope that this will help begin a meaningful exchange, whatever form it may take right now, between Emilia, Craig and me regarding her early traumatic experiences.

Emilia in March 2015
covering her ears with oven mitts
during a situation stressful for her

IAC 311 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 311 which was held on March 12, 2015:

1) German dossier from December 2010 referred a female child aged 3 years and 3 months with features in health status

2) Dutch dossier from February 2011 referred a male child aged 2 years and 5 months with features in health status

3) Canadian dossier from August 2011 referred a female child aged 7 years and 9 months with features in health status

4) Italian dossier from February 2012 referred a male child aged 7 years and 8 months with features in health status

5) Canadian dossier from March 2012 referred a female child aged 5 years and 2 months with features in health status

6) US dossier from November 2012 referred a female child aged 3 years and 10 months with features in health status and a family history

7) Italian dossier from October 2013 referred biological sisters aged 6 years & 8 years and 5 months

8) US dossier from January 2015 referred twins, male and female, aged 1 year and 10 months with features in health status

9) US dossier from March 2015 referred a waiting child (#2690) with a profile on the MOJ site

10) US dossier from March 2015 referred three waiting children (#2694 & #2695 & #2696) with profiles on the MOJ site

What's New With Emilia

It's been a while since I updated you on the littlest Martini, so here's what's been happening.

Emilia is our most tender child, emotionally and physically, and she does not like change.  Therefore, we knew that she would struggle mightily with the series of events unfolding over the last seven months (three weeks in Armenia, adoption of a new sister, holidays, move to new home, start at a new preschool).  As expected, we did see some behavioral regressions and knew that beyond reassurances and extra cuddles, it would simply take time for Emilia to adjust. We think she is almost back to her normal self now and it actually feels like she might be at the brink of a new developmental phase.

Unfortunately, Emilia's preschool experience here in the new district initially did not live up to our expectations.  She used to get excited to see the school bus come down the road, but when she started in this district, she wasn't. She would come home from school on Mondays and Tuesdays clingy and weepy.  It sometimes took more than an hour of holding her to bring her out of this mood.  I think a huge reason for this issue had to do with Emilia's teacher who was very strict and the classroom environment super structured not leaving options, for example, for a child like Emilia who cannot yet sit crisscross applesauce for a 20 to 30 minute morning meeting.  I observed Emilia in the classroom twice and the teacher treated the kids, many with special needs, like little adults and expected them to behave accordingly.  Fortunately, this teacher recently gave birth and we have already seen an improvement with Emilia's long-term sub.  We are also thrilled that, if all goes according to plan, Emilia will be in half-day kindergarten next school year with Ella's current awesome teacher.  She may even have one of Rex's current classmates in the kindergarten class with her which would also be wonderful as we are friends with his family.

Passed out after fighting against a nap

Emilia's IEP is up for renewal toward the end of the school year and, because of the problems we see in the preschool setting, we decided to take advantage of the neuro-developmental specialists that work at the heart clinic where Emilia is a patient. They gave us a good assessment of Emilia's current strengths and weaknesses and will assist in writing the IEP for next year.  Craig and I feel like we could really use some support in getting the district's educators to acknowledge not only Emilia's traumatic past, but also her sensory needs which are still a major factor and collaborate with us in using them to Emilia's academic advantage, rather than fighting them to the point of taking away not only her joy of learning, but also her ability to progress and succeed in the classroom.

Speaking of the heart clinic,  Emilia had a check-up with cardiology recently and everything looks perfect.  She was still scared, but did the best ever since the surgery during the appointment.  We don't need to come back for an entire year and if things are still going great then, we will move to an every other year schedule.  Hurray for Emilia and her healthy heart! Oh and her doctor called her "an intelligent and engaging child" after having a little talk with her.  That's music to our ears.

Snuggles with Grandpa

Emilia appears to be taking a break from acquiring new pre-academic knowledge at the moment, but we have seen beautiful gains in her gross motor and language skills.  The OT that has been working with her since the fall is wonderful and has made a tremendous difference in Emilia's sensory development.  Her sensory needs are simultaneously an asset and an obstacle to her learning and daily life.  The new OT is helping us tip the scale more toward the asset end of things.  Emilia is practicing ways to calm herself and gaining a broader awareness of her entire body. We see such a difference in the way she moves and relates to the space around her.  She's even able now to show me on her baby dolls various activities, such as walking, sitting, crawling, climbing.  It just illustrates how she has been internalizing everything she is working on this area.

She was fascinated by Easter eggs this year.

Emilia's language skills continue to grow. She is nowhere near speaking like her five-year old peers, but she is communicating successfully and clearly all the time.  The sentences she uses are getting longer ("No bus, I sit car" or "May I have drink?" or "Rain, rain go away, rainy all day") and she is applying colloquial language such as "Bless you," and "Calm down."  She is letting us know when she thinks something is loud, cute, pretty, funny, and so on.  Her expressive vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds.  She basically only needs us to tell her a new word once and she retains and uses it appropriately.  The problem continues to be stringing syllables together into sentences.  Emilia likes to sing and is increasingly able to put the words with the melodies.

In preparation for the IEP meeting, we asked Emilia's Prompt therapist to do some testing for language.  She found that when adjusted for her developmental age of 3.5 years old, Emilia's receptive language is completely normal and her expressive language is less than two standard deviations off the mean which we think is still pretty good, given the severity of her apraxia.

At this time, Emilia likes rap and hip hop music, surprise egg videos on youtube, dancing, swinging, and playing with her big sister.

Overall, this little treasure has been our squeakiest wheel here lately, but the joy and love she brings to our family outweigh any challenges that we are facing together.

Pictures Of The Day

"5:08"

This is what happens when two sisters play through nap time, then spend an hour outside, then come back in at 5:00 pm and sit down on the couch to catch their breath.

"Leftovers"

When I went to put our leftover roasted vegetables away, I found a doll torso among them.  Very disturbing.