Bulgaria IAC 192 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 192 which was held on 07/29/11:

1) Italian dossier from October 2008 referred a female child aged 2 years and 4 months

2) French dossier from January 2009 referred a female child aged 6 years and 2 months

3) German dossier from April 2009 referred a male child aged 2 years and 6 months with the physical characteristics and the NDP

4) Dutch dossier from June 2009 referred a male child aged 2 years and 3 months with features in health status, incl. data on family history

5) U.S. dossier from August 2009 referred a waiting child (#1517) with a profile on the MOJ site

6) Italian dossier from July 2010 referred a a male child aged 4 years and 10 months with data on family history

7) Italian dossier from March 2011 referred a female child aged 7 years and 4 months with data on family history. 05.08.2011 - Dropped due to information about changes in health status of the child.

8) French dossier from July 2011 referred a male child aged 11 years and 11 months

9) U.S. dossier from July 2011 referred a waiting child (#10) with a profile on the MOJ site

10) Italian dossier from July 2011 referred a waiting child (#513) with a profile on the MOJ site

Saturday Adventures

Even though we put Rex through the social wringer on Saturday with a morning visit from friends followed by a picnic at the park and then by an evening wedding reception, he did fantastic. We were really proud of how he handled himself in all the new situations with lots of strange people. His self-regulation skills are definitely improving.

Here's a three-tiered portrait of us which a friend captured during the picnic with other families who are adopting from Armenia. It was wonderful to catch up with everyone there and be able to share our experiences in bringing Rex home. I don't know why, but I think this photo is great.

Four Girls - Four Stories

Sometimes people ask me how children end up in orphanages overseas. Of course, each situation is different and there are probably dozens of reasons, but the four toddler girls who were in our son’s group each have specific circumstances that show some of the ways by which a child might grow up in orphanage care. Here are their stories in a nutshell:

Little H. was abandoned at a church a few months ago. She has a medical condition involving her brain. Her abandonment made the news in Armenia, but her parents have not been found which means an official relinquishment letter allowing H. to be adopted has not been signed. By law, she could be eligible for adoption after a certain amount of time without parental contact, but this law is rarely, if ever, enforced.

Little A. is a healthy, beautiful girl. Her mother placed her in the orphanage at birth, but will not sign a relinquishment letter, so A. has spent her first two years in institutional care and may well continue to be there until adulthood. Her mother does not visit.

Little M. has multiple medical/developmental diagnoses and is eligible for adoption. She has spent her entire life at the orphanage and not yet found adoptive parents.

Little K. was born healthy to a married couple in their late 40s as a first and wished for child. Shortly after her birth, K.’s father died and her mother had to find a job which is located several hours away. She placed her daughter at this particular orphanage due to the level of care that is given there. Little K.’s mother visits as much as she can, but K. does not really recognize her as her mom. K. will be in orphanage care indefinitely until her mother can save up enough money to be able to afford living with her in Yerevan.

I Confess

I have a problem. I continue to stop and stare at my son and I come away with the same feeling every time: He is the most beautiful little boy in the world.

"There's only one pretty child in the world & every mother has it."
- Chinese Proverb

IAC 191 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 191 which was held on 07/22/11:

1) German dossier from 2008 referred a male child aged 1 year and 8 months with data on passenger (?) health problems

2) Dutch dossier from 2008 referred a female child aged 4 years and 8 months

3) German dossier from 2008 referred a male child aged 3 years and 2 months

4) Italian dossier from 2008 referred a female child aged 4 years and 5 months

5) French dossier from 2008 referred a male child aged 3 years and 9 months

6) Italian dossier from 2009 referred a male child aged 5 years and 10 months

7) Spanish dossier from 2009 referred a female child aged 7 years

8) French dossier from 2010 referred a male child aged 8 years and 6 months, with specifics to the NDP

9) U.S. dossier from 2011 referred a waiting child (#797) with a profile on the MOJ site

10) U.S. dossier from 2011 referred a waiting child (#1367) with a profile on the MOJ site

SOS If You Can

I have removed this post due to concerns over jeopardizing adoptions from this country.

Rex - Three Weeks Home

Today marks three weeks home and five weeks out of the orphanage for Rex. I am happy to report progress despite the fact that we have been so busy visiting doctors and beginning therapies.

Rex’s raging has decreased tremendously. It’s usually just one short rage a day now and even that seems half-hearted at times and can be about something typically toddler like not wanting to go to sleep. I have learned to watch for Rex’s cues of overloading (slapping his face, lightly banging his head) and am often able to diffuse the moment by holding him or distracting him or singing to him. I have also learned to expect his worst behavior after an outing away from home or in the mornings when he and I are alone and am now able to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for those hours. One thing that seems to be helping Rex greatly with self-regulation is deep pressure massage of the limbs. This method was suggested by the therapist at our local International Adoption Center and I am so thankful for her advice. Next week at OT I am also going to learn a brushing massage technique that I believe will benefit Rex as well.

This week we have begun working actively on sensory integration and motor skills. We are practicing stacking blocks and will soon approach the putting things in/away. He is a genius at taking things out already! Rex's favorite toy continues to be a thick piece of cardboard that he carries everywhere and sometimes even holds during meals. We are so fortunate that we have experienced adopters as our neighbors and friends. They have lent us a number of sensory toys, including a tent tube that Rex loves. Being in there is so good for his vestibular and proprioceptive development and he has fun. The same goes for the swing which Rex initially rejected, but now enjoys fiercely. He cannot go fast enough or high enough and laughs out loud for all the world to hear.

Rex continues to be a good eater though I think control and preferences are now coming into play where he may refuse a food from me and then take it from Craig or refuse a food altogether. Rex is a carb-lover, so he has a sandwich with various toppings for lunch every day. He also enjoys homemade mashed potatoes and waffles/pancakes. He’s not much interested in drinking milk, but he loves yogurt. He also doesn’t go for diced fresh fruit yet, but he enjoys the pureed variety. Rex still sleeps through the night about ten solid hours, but only briefly naps during the day, so no real break for me. Bath time continues to be a struggle, but we are experimenting with a number of things to see if they will ease Rex’s fears.

Interaction skills and attachment are improving. We believe that Rex now distinguishes us from other people. He reaches up his arms when he wants to be picked up and he will hold our hands and fingers and lead us around, usually to nowhere in particular, so it’s more about the journey than the destination. Rex allows us to comfort him when he has been hurt and loves to snuggle when he is sleepy. He often falls asleep in our arms or on top of our chests and will wake up if we try to move him, so we have learned to nap or read or work with 28 pounds of weight on us. Rex does prefer his daddy right now, but I read that this is rather common among children adopted at the toddler stage.

The specialists at the International Adoption Center suggested that while a routine at home is important, Rex also needs to be challenged, so trips to the grocery store, walks at the park, and, of course, all of our medical and therapy appointments are part of what we do. Last night we had my sister-in-law and our three nephews over for dinner and some play and everyone had a wonderful time. Rex kept mostly to the sidelines for their visit, but he remained calm and observant and on occasion even engaged.

Parenting Rex is a challenge and a great reward. Rex’s joyful, interested, alert and gleeful personality is emerging and we cannot wait to see more. We know this child was meant for us as he needs us to grow and we need him for the same reason.