Rex’s raging has decreased tremendously. It’s usually just one short rage a day now and even that seems half-hearted at times and can be about something typically toddler like not wanting to go to sleep. I have learned to watch for Rex’s cues of overloading (slapping his face, lightly banging his head) and am often able to diffuse the moment by holding him or distracting him or singing to him. I have also learned to expect his worst behavior after an outing away from home or in the mornings when he and I are alone and am now able to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for those hours. One thing that seems to be helping Rex greatly with self-regulation is deep pressure massage of the limbs. This method was suggested by the therapist at our local International Adoption Center and I am so thankful for her advice. Next week at OT I am also going to learn a brushing massage technique that I believe will benefit Rex as well.
This week we have begun working actively on sensory integration and motor skills. We are practicing stacking blocks and will soon approach the putting things in/away. He is a genius at taking things out already! Rex's favorite toy continues to be a thick piece of cardboard that he carries everywhere and sometimes even holds during meals. We are so fortunate that we have experienced adopters as our neighbors and friends. They have lent us a number of sensory toys, including a tent tube that Rex loves. Being in there is so good for his vestibular and proprioceptive development and he has fun. The same goes for the swing which Rex initially rejected, but now enjoys fiercely. He cannot go fast enough or high enough and laughs out loud for all the world to hear.
Rex continues to be a good eater though I think control and preferences are now coming into play where he may refuse a food from me and then take it from Craig or refuse a food altogether. Rex is a carb-lover, so he has a sandwich with various toppings for lunch every day. He also enjoys homemade mashed potatoes and waffles/pancakes. He’s not much interested in drinking milk, but he loves yogurt. He also doesn’t go for diced fresh fruit yet, but he enjoys the pureed variety. Rex still sleeps through the night about ten solid hours, but only briefly naps during the day, so no real break for me. Bath time continues to be a struggle, but we are experimenting with a number of things to see if they will ease Rex’s fears.
Interaction skills and attachment are improving. We believe that Rex now distinguishes us from other people. He reaches up his arms when he wants to be picked up and he will hold our hands and fingers and lead us around, usually to nowhere in particular, so it’s more about the journey than the destination. Rex allows us to comfort him when he has been hurt and loves to snuggle when he is sleepy. He often falls asleep in our arms or on top of our chests and will wake up if we try to move him, so we have learned to nap or read or work with 28 pounds of weight on us. Rex does prefer his daddy right now, but I read that this is rather common among children adopted at the toddler stage.
The specialists at the International Adoption Center suggested that while a routine at home is important, Rex also needs to be challenged, so trips to the grocery store, walks at the park, and, of course, all of our medical and therapy appointments are part of what we do. Last night we had my sister-in-law and our three nephews over for dinner and some play and everyone had a wonderful time. Rex kept mostly to the sidelines for their visit, but he remained calm and observant and on occasion even engaged.
Parenting Rex is a challenge and a great reward. Rex’s joyful, interested, alert and gleeful personality is emerging and we cannot wait to see more. We know this child was meant for us as he needs us to grow and we need him for the same reason.
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