May 5, 2014

One year ago today, we met Ella for the first time at the orphanage in Gyumri where she had spent her entire life.  She was cautious, but interested.  She has a stoical side, especially when she feels uncertain and not in control and we saw a bit of that, but mostly she was hungry for attention and interaction.  She has told me her thoughts during those firsts visits included this one: "I was worried you wouldn't take me."


Look how much she has changed in twelve months.

Pick-Up Trip Days 20 & 21

*I realize I am woefully late on these entries, but I do want to conclude this series of posts, especially for Ella who might like to read about her pick-up trip some day.

October 23, 2014

We felt like we were in a holding pattern today and the kids were not happy to be indoors.  After our morning walk, lunch and naps, we headed to Victory Park and spent a few hours with two other adoptive families.  The kids enjoyed running around and doing a few rides.  Rides in Armenia cost anywhere from 50 cents to a dollar per child and they go for a long time, so we always felt like it was money well spent for our bunch.

Only two months apart in age,
former orphanage mates Rex and his friend T
now roaming free
beneath the statue of Mother Armenia

Having a blast

October 24, 2014

Shortly after breakfast, we finally got the call that Ella's visa would be ready by late afternoon, so we knew our time in Armenia was coming to a close.  We spent the morning as always, walking the city and purchasing fresh food for lunch at our favorite places.  In the afternoon, Craig and Rex headed to the US embassy to pick up the passport with visa and I had the wonderful opportunity of visiting one of Armenia's small, private Catholic orphanages and spending a few hours with the special kids there.  For dinner, we went to an indoor amusement park of sorts where the kids enjoyed rides and games once again.

In front of our apartment
located right next to two parks

Teacher Gifts

Are any of my readers out there teachers? If so, what kind of gifts do you like best to receive from your students at the end of the school year?  I have ideas, of course, but I'd really like to present the awesome teachers that work with my kids with something that they will appreciate.  I am open to any and all suggestions.

Haircuts Galore

My big little girl has been begging me for months to let her get her hair cut much shorter.  She has very beautiful hair, thick and wavy, but it's also very hot, especially for an active Kindergartener.  So, I promised her that when spring arrived, she and I both would get haircuts.  We each had enough hair to spare for a donation to Children with Hair Loss.

This was Ella's first haircut at a salon.  She thoroughly enjoyed every moment of the experience and, being a born entertainer, she had the entire place in stitches with her commentary.

She was thrilled when the eight inches came off.

"This feels so good!"

Supermodel

And now here we are with our summer dos.  And, by the way, our hair will never look this sleek again.  We're an air-drying kind of family.

Positively giddy about her short hair

IAC 312 & 313 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 312 which was held on March 19, 2015:

1) Greek dossier from May 2010 referred a brother and sister aged 5 years and 7 months & 4 years and 5 months

2) German dossier from September 2011 referred a female child aged 2 with features in health status

3) Italian dossier from September 2012 referred a brother and sister aged 5 years and 9 months & 7 years and 5 months with features in health status

4) Italian dossier from April 2013 referred a female child aged 8 years and 2 months with features in health status

5) Italian dossier from December 2014 referred three waiting children (#2826 &2827 # & #2828) with profiles on the MOJ site

6) US dossier from March 2015 referred two waiting children (#2553 & #2554) with profiles on the MOJ site

7) US dossier from March 2015 referred  a waiting child (#2452) with a profile on the MOJ site

8) US dossier from March 2015 referred  a waiting child (#2629) with a profile on the MOJ site

9) US dossier from March 2015 referred  a waiting child (#2709) with a profile on the MOJ site

10) US dossier from March 2015 referred  a waiting child (#2837) with a profile on the MOJ site

11) US dossier from March 2015 referred three waiting children (#2677 & #2680 & #2681) with profiles on the MOJ site

------------------------------------------------------------

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 313 which was held on March 26, 2015:

1) Canadian dossier from November 2010 referred a male child aged 1 year and 4 months

2) Spanish dossier from November 2010 referred two brothers aged 4 years and 8 months & 3 years and 1 month

3) US dossier from September 2013 referred a male child 1 year and 4 months with features in health status

4) US dossier from December 2014 referred a waiting child (#2876) with a profile on the MOJ site

5) Italian dossier from December 2014 referred a male child aged 9 years and 10 months

6) Italian dossier from January 2015 referred two sisters aged 10 years and 1 month & 8 years and 6 months

7) US dossier from February 2015 referred a male child aged 7 years and 5 months with features in health status

8) Italian dossier from February 2015 referred a brother sand sister aged 9 years and 8 months & 8 years and 5 months with features in health status

9) US dossier from March 2015 referred two waiting children (#2157 & #2158) with profiles on the MOJ site

10) US dossier from March 2015 referred a female child aged 12 years and 7 months

11) US dossier from March 2015 referred a waiting child (#2332) with a profile on the MOJ site

12) US dossier from March 2015 referred a waiting child (#2687) with a profile on the MOJ site

13) US dossier from March 2015 referred a waiting child (#2595) with a profile on the MOJ site

Spring By Ella

Trauma

I have been thinking a lot about trauma lately, specifically in terms of what my children likely experienced in their earliest years.  Of my children, Emilia was most affected in this area and even after more than three years home, the aftermath of trauma in her life is still just under the surface on many days.  Implicit traumatic memories can be triggered at any moment and sometimes we know what bubbles them over (a single harsh word spoken in the wrong second can make tears well up in her eyes), but often we do not.  We simply see the tell-tale signs in our Emilia: sucking her thumb, covering her eyes and/or ears, screaming, being nearly inconsolably sad and weepy, clinging to us, withdrawing and shutting down, etc.

Emilia at the orphanage in Dobrich
in April 2011
covering her ears
during one of our visits

I went back to these two articles to refresh my understanding of trauma and reading them this time around, I realized that Emilia's language delay due to apraxia is an obstacle to her processing her implicit memories and linking them with an explicit narrative that helps her make sense of what happened to her in the past and puts it into proper perspective.  At this time, Emilia cannot tell us what triggers her memories nor can she express what she remembers or thinks she does.  Consequently, we are limited in our ability to discuss it with her and provide her with her own history, good and bad, as we factually know it.  It hit me really hard when I realized how much Emilia's struggle with communication impacts every area of her life and growth, including understanding and sorting out her own story.

As her mom, I have to do more now to help her in this particular area.  I need to create a very visual lifebook for her as soon as possible.  It probably won't be more than a series of photos and images trying to capture her first five years in broad strokes.  We can look at them together and I can talk about what I know and infer about her history.  I hope that this will help begin a meaningful exchange, whatever form it may take right now, between Emilia, Craig and me regarding her early traumatic experiences.

Emilia in March 2015
covering her ears with oven mitts
during a situation stressful for her