Sensory Friendly Shopping

A big shout out and thank you from our family to Macy's for their sensory friendly shopping event this weekend.  The store opened 90 mins early by invitation only and each child invited received a gift card to spend and was paired with a personal shopper to help with choosing items.

We decided to make this a practice in self-advocacy and self-determination for Little One and did not put any restrictions, other than financial, on what she was allowed to select and purchase for herself.  True to form, she was a very decisive shopper that put her assistant through the wringer with her clear preferences and vision for herself.  Eventually and without a doubt, she ended up with a pair of golden high heels and a white cocktail dress.

We're thankful that our community creates targeted opportunities for our children to safely explore, learn, and grow.

First Week Of School

Last week our sixth graders officially started the new school year.

While Little One remains with the same trusted teacher whom she will see in our home three times a week, she still struggled to leave summer mode and come back to the proverbial school table.  On Friday she finally seemed more balanced and relaxed again which we all were glad to see.  We expect noticeable progress for Little One this school year, especially in areas that may not be traditionally associated with academics.  We're always tweaking what she does and how and always trying to build on her strengths.

Meanwhile Middle Kiddo's team is not yet fully assembled which has been disappointing and stressful.  I don't do well with uncertainty when it's immediately impacting our daily lives and missing ten hours of weekly coverage over three mornings is definitely measurable in its effect on our home and family.  The search for an EA continues.  Let's hope it won't take much longer, so Middle Kiddo can really get rolling again with academics.

Big Girl is well into her 8th grade year with over 100 hours already logged.  Her first day in her home school school will be after Labor Day.  She's earned her high school PE credit through swimming, yoga, and hiking.  She's about 20 hours away from her high school Health credit.

I hope to post one or two photos each month to summarize our home school work with our younger children.  Let's see if it happens.

Picture Of The Day

 Friday morning 18 holes with Dad and Cousin (more like an uncle) B.

Eleven Years Ago

I cannot let this day end without taking note: 11 years ago today, also a Thursday, our Middle Kiddo set foot on US soil and started his new life.  How hard even the simplest things were for him then, how he struggled and fought against his past to open his heart to us and to the world.

I hadn't remembered today's significance until we were hiking through woods alongside a stream and Middle Kiddo was looking wide-eyed at the tree tops and making his way over rocks and roots, stopping to wait for us and forging ahead, smiling and interacting.  And suddenly I realized... it's been 11 years.

After the hike, we went out to lunch, and Kiddo had his favorite: 12 slices of bacon and water.  And he sat at the table so calmly, so much a beloved part of our family, so secure, so confident and the difference was striking.  Then he went with us to an old grist mill and the mechanics of the thing fascinated him to no end.  He listened when called, accepted our arms around his shoulders, and walked by our side in the knowledge that we are his people, now and always.

Today was a really good day.  There are more and more of them with some tough ones sprinkled in to keep us on our toes.  I am in awe of what has been overcome and accomplished through hard work, through love, through a supportive village.  I look at my son's face and it couldn't be more beautiful to me, radiating humor, curiosity, affection, and happiness.  This is life at its best and we're thankful to be a part of his.

Summer Brunch

We're so excited that old friends have moved much closer to us now, so our village just got a little bigger.   We celebrated with brunch at our house.

Carbs, proteins and fats were provided by us and fruits and veggies by friends.  What a spread!

Hocking Hills

We had a bigger trip in mind for July, but based on a gut feeling we scrapped that idea and decided to stay closer to home for a quick mid-week getaway.  We had a wonderful time in the woods of Hocking Hills.

For starters, we hiked a trail that was like a fairytale forest, a story book setting where we wouldn't have been surprised to see gnomes and elves along the way.

Then we treated ourselves to icecream and dinner and an evening of hot tubbing, followed by a simple breakfast the next morning, including homemade coffee cake, freshly picked blackberries, Goetta and hot coffee.

Ready for the day, we set out for two more trails that had a much more prehistoric feel with lush green vegetation and caves.  We hiked through all of this beautiful nature.

And at the end we were able to cool down by a small waterfall.

Little One called this whole experience an adventure and has already asked for more.  We don't disagree.

Noncompliance Is A Skill

While enrolled in public school, all three of my children struggled with compliance, particularly with the daily minutiae of all the little explicit and implicit demands placed on young children to comply through a seven hour school day.

Middle Kiddo was bored to death by the repetitive and unrelenting nature of the school day and consequently became increasingly non-compliant to express his frustration.  He's also my child that knows unequivocally when he needs a break and is able to self-care at those times, if permitted.  Of course, he was not permitted because it was considered non-compliant.  And so we had a cycle of unmet needs and compliance challenges.  Noncompliance is a self-advocacy skill.

For Big Girl, the pressure to comply felt limiting.  She wanted more choices and more responsibility.  She's found them at her home school program where all students have freedom to decide as long as they are respectful to self and others as well as safe.  She doesn't need a hall pass to step out of class, she and her friends can choose from multiple lunch spots and have been known to carry tables and chairs out to the lawn near a busy street, and the students are actively involved in planning extracurricular events and maintaining the building.  She's in direct communication with her teachers regarding academic work and has, for example, been successful in negotiating alternate assignments, but also in terms of scheduling for things such as late arrivals and days missed.  Noncompliance is a leadership skill.

Little One was most severely affected by the individual compliance deemed necessary to run a classroom with 25 children and a building with roughly 550 students and staff.  As I have often mentioned, she described the school setting as a prison and a chokey.  She did not feel safe and everything about the school day was perceived as a threat.  Under such circumstances, trying to remain compliant for a long day was physically, emotionally, mentally, and behaviorally impossible for her and while it drained her on many levels, including her sense of curiosity and her zest for learning, she did manage to endure it.  Noncompliance is a survival skill.

An old Apple commercial comes to mind when I think of my still often non-compliant children...

"Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward."