Hospital Check-Ups

Today we had our final appointment with the kids at the International Adoption Center. 

Rex was mostly there for a well-visit, so we got new measurements and a quick physical for preschool.  Rex now weighs 36 pounds and is 36 inches tall.  That’s in 75^th percentile for weight and in 10^th percentile for height.  He’s stretching out because at the last visit, his height placed him below the 5^th percentile. Nonetheless, he is still considered obese.  Rex's head circumference continues to be between the 40^th and 50^th percentile.  There were no issues with the physical.  The IA doctor thinks Rex is doing amazing.  She had seen him at his worst when he was first home and today saw him at his best with eye contact, high fives, signing, attachment, etc.

Emilia is now 23 pounds which means she has gained six pounds in six months.  She is about 32 inches tall, give or take a little… you know kids don’t sit still for the measurements.  But, I would say that she has at least grown two inches since December.  Of course, she still off the charts, but making her own growth curve.  In a happy surprise, Emilia’s head circumference has gone up from the 10^th to the 25^th percentile. According to the doctor, heads don’t grow much once the second year of life is completed, so it’s wonderful that Emilia’s brain was still able to make up for some lost time after her second birthday.  The physical was fine and the doctor had no concerns.  She thinks Emilia is doing quite well.

As part of Emilia’s visit, she also had a new developmental assessment.  I did not expect to see much forward motion there, but I was only partially right.  In gross motor, Emilia was at 14 months in December and she is still there now.  The consensus of the team is, however, that it’s her size holding her back in that area, not her willingness to acquire new gross motor skills.  In language, Emilia was at 13 months in December and is now at 14 months. No surprise there since she refuses to speak thus far.  Emilia’s personal-social skills continue to be scattered, but on average she has moved forward from 10 months to the equivalent of a 16 months old child which is great.  And now, for the big finale, fine motor skills.  Since December, Emilia’s fine motor skills have gone from those of an 8 months old to those of a 16 months old.  That’s 8 months of progress in 6 months and she’s not really trying or having therapy.  During the evaluation, she even did things that she rarely does at home like stack blocks, put dice into a cup, kiss a doll, and scribble dots and lines.  Methinks Bartleby is a little show-off.

The sweetest moment happened early in the visit. We’d just entered the exam room and I think the kids knew right away what was up and started crying.  So Craig placed both kids on his lap and played them some Super Simple Songs on youtube via his cell phone.  They calmed down and watched attentively.  And then, suddenly, Emilia took Rex’s hand into hers and held it.  He did not resist, but kept their hands together.  What a blessing to have a sibling that loves you!

We’ll miss the folks at the IAC who have shared our journey for the last two years.  They have been supportive, informative and kind and we’d recommend them to anyone for the review of referrals, complete check-ups after homecoming, or just general information about the medical and developmental well-being of internationally adopted children.

IAC 220 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 220 which was held on May 8, 2012:

1) Spanish dossier from June 2009 referred a male child aged 4 years and 10 months

2) French dossier from August 2009 referred a male child aged 2 years and 3 months with features in health status

3) Italian dossier from June 2010 referred sisters aged 6 years and 11 months & 4 years and 1 month

4) Italian dossier from February 2011 referred a brother and sister aged 3 years and 3 months & 2 years and 1 month with features in health status

5) Swedish dossier from August 2011 referred a waiting child (#1275) with a profile on the MOJ site

6) US dossier from December 2011 referred a female child aged 1 year and 11 months with features in health status

7) Italian dossier from January 2012 referred a male child aged 8 years and 7 months

8) Belgian dossier from March 2012 referred a brother and sister aged 12 years and 5 months & 4 years and 6 months

9) US dossier from March 2012 referred a waiting child (#1458) with a profile on the MOJ site

10) Italian dossier from April 2012 referred a waiting child (#1688) with a profile on the MOJ site

11) US dossier from April 2012 referred brothers aged 2 years and 3 months & 3 years and 1 month with features in health status

12) US dossier from May 2012 referred two waiting children (#1163 & #1714) with profiles on the MOJ site

Whodunit - The Berry Case

Yesterday I came into the kitchen only to find this mess: blueberries and strawberries all over the floor.  The culprits were caught blue-handed (and blue-footed) and one still happily clutched the strawberry bowl.  I know the other instigated the incident by opening the fridge door.

I kind of wish I would have snapped a photo of the looks on the doers' faces when I discovered them, but I was too mad and primarily concerned with preventing them from crushing more berries all over their clothes and my floor which, as usual, I had just cleaned earlier in the day.  Last time I cleaned it, a party who shall remain unnamed decided to pull the sand and water table up to the deck door and then dump its contents into the kitchen.  Yep, story of my motherhood: clean the floor, expect huge mess within 24 hours.

Anyway, the perpetrators were in big trouble and I assure you that some fearful tears were shed and some guilty lips pouted as I read them the riot act, especially since this was a repeat offense.

If anyone has suggestions on how to secure the fridge, please let me know.  The mechanism we had installed  did not last but a day due to the brute strength of the male lawbreaker in our family.

Emilia - Twenty-Nine Weeks Home

As of yesterday, Emilia has been home with us for twenty-nine weeks.  The last two weeks with Emilia have been challenging for me.  It’s not actually about what she’s doing, but about what she’s not doing.  She continues to be the most stubborn child you can imagine and resisting any structured learning or acquisition of skills.  I am getting so frustrated with her avoidance behaviors which range from walking away to smiling/hugging/charming to whining to screaming with covered up ears and eyes.  As soon as she gets her way, she is happy as a clam, but if not, she can hold out for longer than I have seen her pay attention to anything else.

That said, physically Emilia is doing great.  I no longer worry about what she will eat as just about anything non-dairy or very low dairy works at this point and she has a great appetite.  She tries new flavors and rarely rejects anything.  She’s also drinking quite well.  She walks, runs, and climbs incessantly.  She sleeps soundly through the night and goes down easy.  Her rocking behavior is all but gone.  She wakes up happy.  She keeps busy all day long on her own terms, moseying from one toy or activity to the next.  Emilia now loves to watch Super Simple Songs on youtube, likes playing with Craig’s cell phone, can’t resist any book to be read to her, and likes to sit on my lap while playing.

I have been working in increments of a few minutes at a time with Emilia on fine motor tasks.  Her pincer grasp is still very poor and I can tell she has to concentrate hard to use her index finger rather than her middle finger or even crazier hand contortions to pick things up.  However, she has learned to pick up jelly beans and put them into a water bottle.  She resists while we do the work together, but sometimes when left alone, I hear the jelly beans clicking into the bottle because she wants to shake it.  Hand over hand inset puzzles and stacking are still most hateful tasks to her, but finger-feeding is getting a bit better.

As for language, I know Emilia understands us.  When she wants, she responds properly to statements like, come here, put in, where is mama’s nose, no no no, give me a kiss, switch the toy to your other hand, shake, etc.  Similarly, when she wants she can repeat several sounds (all vowels I think, for example), but she will not repeat words.  However, she consistently says dada/daddy clear as day when Craig is around and she blurts a powerful Bulgarian ne, ne, ne when she is unhappy with us.  I think this is meant to be yet another lesson for me that I cannot will her to speak and that these things are not going to occur according to any schedule I may have had. If you know me, you are aware that I am an impatient planner and somewhat of a control freak and my kids are simply teaching me to live differently than I have been.  It’s so hard for me to change though, to be the bow that bends, as Khalil Gibran says in his poem about children.  But bend I must and trust in the archer’s plan.

Last week, Emilia had some updated testing done through the county’s early childhood program. There are so many different developmental assessments and their results tend to vary from what I have seen with Rex.  In any case, with the ASQ, Emilia scored completely in range at 35 points with the cut-off being 57, but in the HELP screening, she was out of range in all areas on average.  Her scores on this test were very scattered with some skills as low as 8 months, but some as high as 36 months.  Go figure, this child’s a mystery.

Of course, some of the skills Emilia should have at this age are affected by her tiny size.  For example, she is supposed to be able to go up stairs upright unassisted.  Well, the steps in my home are 8 inches which is more than ¼ of Emilia’s height.  So, clearly, it’s not easy for her to lift her legs that high without losing her balance or holding on to something.  To put it into perspective, proportionately, this is equivalent to me at my height taking 17 inch steps which I think would be almost impossible to do without using my hands to steady myself.  Trust me, I tried it using a chair… very difficult.

On the whole, my little Bartleby is a good girl that just needs to experience that defining moment where the switch flips over and she starts wanting to learn.  For my own sanity, I hope the moment comes soon, but I know it’s not really in my hands.  I can guide and assist and experiment, but the willingness to open up lies with her.  Mama’s waiting on you, lovey girl, so let’s go!

Rex - Forty-Three Weeks Home

Yesterday marked forty-three weeks home and forty-five weeks out of the orphanage for Rex.

I don't have much to report except continued progress.  Once again, Rex has mastered a number of therapy tasks, such as touching his head, pushing buttons, and stacking blocks in imitation as well as rolling balls or cars back and forth with another person, shaking a rattle or maraca when asked, and putting items into containers when asked.

 Getting ready for bed... so handsome

Rex is doing great eating unassisted with a fork.  I guess practice does make perfect.  Depending on the food he may still need some help, but when he's really motivated (say for potato cakes), he's able to feed himself on his own.  Once again, Rex managed to surprise me by accepting some foods I wouldn't have expected.  One of those was rice.  Thus far anything with a small grain texture had been spit back out whenever offered, but one night he tried steamed rice and then proceeded to eat meatballs, marinara sauce and rice for dinner.  I know that's a weird combination, but since he won't do Chinese food, it's what he got instead.  I also made some dark chocolate fudge with sour cherries one day and Rex liked it.  And he's eating eggs again. Not scrambled eggs on their own, but I can fry an egg over some hashbrowns or make a quiche and he enjoys it.

 He likes taking breaks 

by doing a little sunbathing on the deck

Rex's behavior has been really good.  I think we had just one tantrum in the last week.  He's been very loving, seeking out cuddles and tickles, wanting to sit with us or just asking us to sit near him while he plays.  I think he can somehow sense that it's summer and that he should be having a break because he's not been too interested to work some of his therapy programs.  He just wants to play and has a lot of bouncy energy which is okay with me, but not so much with his therapists.

 Checking out what sister's up to

Hmm, what else?  Rex is able to wear his sandals without socks now.  I really wasn't sure if this would be an option this summer due to sensory issues, but he had no problems with it on first try.  Oh and in the too much information category, Rex has been going #2 in his room upstairs for almost a week now.  I am pretty pleased about this because not only does it indicate that he can sense when he has to go, but it also shows an emerging need for privacy which is an important developmental step.  I am going to keep an eye on it.  Potty-training may be possible sooner than we thought.

This boy and his daddy are two peas in a pod

Sometimes I think about what would have happened if we had said no to Rex. And it's not always just a consideration of what would have happened to him, but to us if we had missed out on everything beautiful, challenging, inspiring, broadening this child has been bringing to our life.  I know Craig and I are both so very glad we said yes.

Camping Trip #2

A few weeks ago, we went camping with friends who adopted from the same Armenian orphanage as we did.  We have a special bond because we shared most of our Armenian adoption journeys in emails across the miles.  My friend Elizabeth delivered a gift from us to Rex on their first trip to Yerevan.  She was the one who told me he could walk.  She saw him outside a lot and took the time each day to write a note about how he was doing.  Then, when we went to pick up Rex, I was allowed to see her little girl twice and was able to send her emails, giving updates on Sofia.  

Elizabeth's family does not live very far from us, but we still had managed to meet only once until we put together this camping get-away.  It was a great weekend with time to talk, good food, and fun.  I'll let a few pictures tell the story.

Here's a shirtless Rex getting into the meadow. This is the same child who less than a year ago could not walk barefoot on any surfaces or tolerate certain textures on his skin due to sensory integration issues.  Oh how far he has come!

These are our little Eastern European beauties.  They are about the same size, but Sofia is 17 months younger than Emilia.  We hope that some day these two cuties will be close friends and confidants.

I love this image of Emilia.  Yes, sweet pea, you are a U.S. citizen now.

And here are our Armenian angels reunited.  We are so happy that they will be able to grow up knowing each other and sharing their experiences.

Elizabeth and I are looking forward to many more shared adventures and joint projects as we walk this path of adoption together.

Strawberry Palooza

Yesterday morning, just in the nick of time before their season is over, my friend Marie (aka Rex's therapist Ms. Rie) and I headed out to pick strawberries at a local orchard.  I had a great time chatting with Marie in the fresh air and sunshine while gathering thirteen pounds of glorious berries for my family.

When I got home, I had to start thinking about how to preserve the berries, but I wanted to make sure we first got to eat to our hearts' content.  So, for dessert last night we had strawberry fudge sundaes.  Yum.

 For breakfast this morning, we had strawberry banana smoothies.  More yum.

For brunch we had homemade whole grain waffles with maple syrup, whipped cream and, what else, strawberries.  Now this is what I call the good life on a Sunday morning.

We still have a big bowl of strawberries on the counter just for snacking and adding to cereal and yogurt and so on until they are gone.

But then came the harder and more work-extensive part of preserving the remaining pounds of fruit.  So first, I made some strawberry raspberry sorbet for Emilia. She likes to eat cool treats with us, but due to her dairy allergy she cannot handle much ice-cream.  Sorbet is a great alternative for her.

Next I made seven jars of freezer jam with one additional bowl that went straight into the fridge for our immediate enjoyment.

And then I ran the final batch of strawberries through the blender with some sugar and lemon juice to make strawberry sauce (frozen in ice-cube trays) that we can enjoy on cakes, sundaes, yogurt, etc.

It's been a busy weekend for me in the kitchen, but I am really happy with what I have put up to enjoy until the next strawberry season and with how delicious our menu has been these last two days due to fresh strawberries galore.  Now in a week or two, I am ready to do this all again with blueberries.