April 18, 2011

Two years ago today, we met Emilia for the first time.  My memory of that moment, even of those first minutes with her, is not nearly as clear as what I recall with Rex.  We were with her so briefly that first visit to the orphanage, maybe ten minutes, maybe it was more.  I honestly had lost my sense of time in jetlag and emotions.

We had driven from the Varna airport directly to the orphanage where it was nap time.  I don't know if they woke Emilia to meet us or if she was kept awake until our arrival.  We were ushered into a tiny ante-room with a giant couch, told to wait.  The space was crowded and hot.  When they brought Emilia in, she was scared, so scared.  Too scared to even cry.  I knew her size from the referral paperwork, but suddenly holding this frail little girl still came as a shock.  In my arms was not a healthy nor a happy child.  She was 18 months old, weighing maybe 14 pounds, if that.  She was pale with deep, dark circles under her eyes.  She was weak with very little energy.  And she had just been handed over to total strangers in a room that she would have known from passing, at best, which left her feeling so frightened, so helpless, so lost.

Can you see the shock beneath my smile?
And her confusion, fear, and hopelessness?

If this photo had audio, I think Emilia would be grinding her teeth.
And the nanny in the background is probably wondering
if we will like this sickly child and decide to adopt her.

It took about a year at home with us before almost all the emotional scars from orphanage life had healed for Emilia.  She dropped habits like grinding her teeth, clicking her mouth, and rocking herself over the course of several months.  She started trusting us slowly, considering carefully if she really did want to attach to us.  Maybe she asked herself: Are these grown-ups worthy of the incredible love and happiness I have to give? She went from hugs for everyone to certain affections just for Mama and Daddy to allowing me finally now to hold her like a baby, rock her, gaze into her eyes and sing.  It took a year for her to get ready to say yes to speaking, yes to learning new things, yes to life itself.

Never, ever, ever on that rainy April day in 2011 could we have imagined what a beautiful, lively, radiant child would emerge into our family if only we gave her the time, patience, love, and understanding she needed.  We have been immeasurably blessed with our little girl who is sweet and loving and funny and are so thankful that we took a chance on her and she on us.

Pay It Forward March & April

I took a little longer choosing who we wanted to support in their adoption journeys for these months, but  once I learned that each of these two families had committed to waiting children, I knew where to put my donations.

Shelly and Jeremy Moorhouse are adopting a 6 year old waiting child from Bulgaria.  They will be first time parents.  If you would like to help them bring Ivelina home, please visit their blog and donate via any of the links on the right hand side.

The Nicely family has committed to adopting a large sibling group from Eastern Europe.  I wish I could tell you more, but can only say that they are brave in accepting what is going to be a tremendous challenge for everyone involved.  You can donate on their blog and/or buy one of the pretty bracelets Kim is making and selling to raise funds.

Here's hoping that these special kiddos will all be home soon.

"Veronica" Is Waiting

Please meet Veronica.  She just turned 13 in February and lives in the same country where Emilia was born.

Veronica is healthy and described as outgoing, self-confident, headstrong, and extroverted.  She receives extra resource help in school.  Veronica would do best as an only child or as the youngest child in a family. She needs parents who can provide love and patience as well as stability and appropriate boundaries.

For more information, please contact info@hopscotchadoptions.org.  Photos, videos and a social-medical report are available for review.

IAC 248 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 248 which was held on March 6, 2013:

1) Dutch dossier from December 2009 referred a male child aged 2 years and 11 months

2) French dossier from January 2010 referred a female child aged 1 year and 11 months

3) US dossier from February 2010 referred a female child aged 1 year and 9 months

4) Greek dossier from March 2010 referred a female child aged 3 years

5) Italian dossier from May 2010 referred a male child aged 6 years and 5 months with features in health status

6) Italian dossier from May 2010 referred a male child aged 4 years with features in health status and a family history

7) US dossier from June 2010 referred a female child aged 1 year and 11 months with features in health status

8) Italian dossier from July 2010 referred a male child aged 6 years and 2 months

9) US dossier from September 2010 referred a female child aged 2 years and 1 month with features in health status

10) US dossier from October 2010 referred two female children aged 7 years and 2 months & 5 years and 11 months

11) French dossier from September 2011 referred a female child aged 7 years and 6 months with a family history

12) German dossier from September 2011 referred a male child aged 2 years and 5 months with features in health status

13) Swedish dossier from November 2011 referred a waiting child (#2072) with a profile on the MOJ site

14) US dossier from March 2012 referred a female child aged 3 years and 9 months with features in health status

15) Italian dossier from April 2012 referred a female child aged 2 years and 9 months with features in health status and a family history

16) US dossier from May 2012 referred a waiting child (#1738) with a profile on the MOJ site

17) French dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#1819) with a profile on the MOJ site

18) US dossier from September 2012 referred a female child aged 1 years and 10 months with features in health status

19) Italian dossier from January 2013 referred a female child aged 9 years and 10 months

20) US dossier from February 2013 referred a waiting child (#454) with a profile on the MOJ site

21) US dossier from March 2013 referred a waiting child (1840) with a profile on the MOJ site

22) US dossier from March 2013 referred a waiting child (1008) with a profile on the MOJ site

Mothering Milestone

I have been told over and over that there are many mothering milestones which I will never get to experience with my son, but here's one that did happen for us: Rex came home with his first school picture.

I consider it a minor miracle that they got him to sit still for this photo and smile.  Rex looks happy and hopeful to me and, as far as I am concerned, you couldn't ask for anything more.

This Little Art Of Mine

For quite a while, I have been following the blog of a fellow adoptive momma who occasionally sells her original artwork through her website.  Last month I saw a piece of hers that I just had to have.  The quote spoke to me so strongly, it was like finally someone had put into words the way I feel about Rex's life.

This photo doesn't do it any justice, but I am now the happy owner of this small piece of art which, once displayed, will be a daily reminder that my son is a perfect blessing, no matter what his future holds:

Thanks so much, Laura at http://pitterpatterart.com.

Oma Has Left aka Back To Reality

Today my mom left after a five week visit.  As always, it was a little sad to see her go, especially with such a far geographic distance between us, but I do think that she had a nice time and made some wonderful memories with her grand-kids.  She also helped me a lot with the everyday jobs, so that I could focus my energy on some other projects.  It was like invisible house-elves folded the laundry for a month, washed the dishes while I napped, and picked up the living room after we all went to bed.

Before my mom arrived at the end of February, I made myself a to do list and I am pleased to say that most of the tasks on it have been completed and then some.

Completed

Organize pantry
Design t-shirts for Rex's preschool
Design and order custom t-shirt for myself
Make photo scavenger hunt sheets for BG reunion
Touch-up and paint kitchen and living room walls
Assemble fundraiser baskets for Rex's school
Sort through children's clothing for 2013

Not Completed

Organize photos (I only made it through 2012)
Prep hula hoops for BG reunion (almost finished - now finished)
Prep teen challenge kits for BG reunion (half done)
Re-adoption paperwork

Not on the List, but Completed Anyway

Earn $550 in health care credits for 2013
Put together and order 2012 photo books for the kids
Decorate spring wreath for front door
Make well visit appointments for both kids with family doctor
Clean out freezer

Of course, it wasn't all work.  We made sure we had some fun, too, by going to the zoo, visiting friends over Easter, enjoying a couple of shopping trips, spending time with extended family, going swimming, participating in a community Easter egg hunt, and celebrating Rex's birthday.  The kids relished in being spoiled.  There were evenings when Oma and Rex went to play in the basement and we'd hear nothing but giggles for an hour.  Emilia made sure Oma got her daily exercise, bouncing the little princess on the ball, pushing the swing, going for walks, and assisting with jumping on the trampoline.

Right now, sitting here in the afternoon in a rather quiet house, it feels weird that it's just Emilia and me. Like I said, back to reality, but hopefully it won't be too long before Oma visits again.