Today marks eleven weeks home and thirteen weeks out of the orphanage for Rex. Things have been relatively low key on the developmental front though we now have a climber of furniture. Yes, Rex can get up onto the couch and chairs without assistance these days, so no more leaving him on the deck by himself. After the palate surgery Rex’s babbling had reduced to just a few syllables, but now more speech is returning. We are hearing nice D, B, and G sounds and in a surprising turn of events, he says Oma (“Uma”) to my mom now when we are on the phone. The palate surgery seems like a distant memory at this point except when we realize that a sneeze didn’t fling any food or that Rex’s drooling has decreased tremendously. He wears bibs only during meals these days. We see drool now mostly when Rex is very focused and/or learning something which our OT tells us is quite common as the brain hones in on the main task at hand.
We have also continued to re-arrange rooms to serve our family’s current needs better. For example, we have a small trampoline in the living room now and Rex and Craig jump on it together every night while playing… uhmm, shall I admit this… 80s and 90s rap. We have also blacked out the window in the children’s room and put two twin beds in there side by side for Rex’s and my afternoon naps. There’s room for sister to join us, too.
The thing I miss the most about motherhood, something I expected and desired to be a part of it, is the cuddling. Rex is not a cuddler. Rex does not like to be held. In fact, from the moment that Rex set foot into his new home he has refused to be contained in any way. He will not stay in a play pen, he will not play in an exercise chair, he will not go into his crib during daylight. He just wants to be free to roam his territory and I understand that considering most of his hours at the orphanage were spent in indoor and outdoor play pens, rolling walker type chairs, and his crib. But I do miss the hugs and kisses that would come from spontaneous snuggling. Rex will come to me for comfort in moments of extreme distress like getting shots or having blood drawn and he cuddles with daddy when he is tired at night. Having said all this, I am happy to report that Rex now allows me to stroke his cheeks at random times during the day and does much better with hugs and kisses. He sometimes even cracks a little smile of enjoyment. And just this afternoon for our nap, he fell asleep with his little hands cupped around my chin and cheeks and our faces almost touching. My heart spilled over with love. I know we have a long way ahead in bonding yet, but we are going into the right direction and maybe cuddling is still in the cards down the road.
Some of you may wonder what Rex eats these days. He still rejects fresh fruits and vegetables unless they are pureed and he still loves his carbs. For breakfast he either has homemade oatmeal with applesauce or homemade pancakes with almond butter and applesauce. I spend some time every other weekend getting oatmeal and pancakes prepared and into the freezer, so they are always ready on busy weekday mornings. For lunch, Rex usually has a sandwich with cheese or with nutella mixed with banana (always trying to hide the good stuff) or with cream cheese mixed with peach puree. Sometimes he also has leftovers from dinner. Rex’s favorite afternoon snack is yogurt mixed with cereal, graham crackers, and/or fruit. Now that his palate is repaired, Rex can eat whatever we’re having for dinner on most nights. He likes beef and chicken, potatoes, pasta, soups and stews, etc. He opts out of salad night though. Rex isn’t big on dessert, but we are happy that he has developed a recent interest in ice cream and icy fresh fruit smoothies. He used to not be able to eat anything that was colder than room temperature, but now I can feed him stuff straight from the fridge and apparently a little frozen is starting to be okay, too. Upon doctor’s advice (I should have known better and followed my instincts) I had Rex drink milk for a few days and every time he did, he would spit up afterward repeatedly and his appetite was shot for the day. So, no milk for my little boy regardless of what the medical establishment thinks. His drink of choice is juice mixed with water. Apple is his favorite, but he goes for cranberry blends now, too.
Overall, things are going well, we are happy and tired and full of love, and each and every day we find ourselves saying that we were entrusted with the most amazing little boy in the world.
My daughter Theodora was very late to cuddle; it may well come soon. It is now that she has been home almost two years that she likes me to hug and hold her; she still has to work out having my mother do it. So it's a process. I'm sure Rex will come around in time, too!
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