The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 189 which was held on 07/08/11:
1) Swiss dossier from 2008 referred two male children / twins / age 2 years and 8 months, data for chronic lung disease and mild orthopedic problems in a child
2) Spanish dossier from 2008 referred two male children / biological brothers / aged 3 years and 4 months & 4 years and 8 months, data slightly behind the NDP in a child
3) Italian dossier from 2009 referred a female child, aged 5 years and 3 months, data for a chronic urological disease
4) U.S. dossier from 2009 referred a male child aged, 1 year and 8 months, data on family history
5) Italian dossier from 2010 referred a female child aged 9 years and 7 months with congenital heart malformation, corrected surgically
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Toddler-Proofing 401
Last weekend, we spent many hours toddler-proofing our home above and beyond what we’d already done for our nephews who are frequently here. One of the challenges of Rex adjusting is that he is really strong and very determined, but developmentally he is so much younger than his physical/chronological age, so that’s a precarious combination. He has no concept of things that might be hazardous or risky because he has spent two years in two rooms that were designed to have no dangers, so he had no opportunities to learn in this area. Telling him no or explaining that he might get hurt simply doesn’t work at this time. Rewards or consequences are not an option yet because his communication skills are very limited. Plus, I didn’t want to spend our bonding days constantly having to reprimand him or remove him from stuff when he is basically doing the only natural thing which is to explore and experiment with his new environment.
So, here’s what we got accomplished:
1) Took my green plants upstairs because Rex likes to eat the leaves.
2) Took off the glass doors between the family room and the office (now mostly playroom) because Rex likes to slam them as often as possible.
3) Installed two additional gates to block toddler access to the parlour and dining room. The gate for the stairs that we have had for about 18 months is working very well.
4) Added more child-locks to the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen. Now everything under counter-height is secured.
5) Stacked the dressers in the office/playroom and bolted them to the wall as well as moved the armchair to the family room to create more space to play.
6) Zip-tied the glass doors of the fireplace because Rex likes to slam those, too.
7) Put protectors on some sharp furniture corners in the family room. I am sad to say, Rex has already pulled one of them off.
8) Added more outlet covers. I thought we had them all secured long ago, but you’d be surprised where more unprotected outlets show up when you move furniture.
9) Still to be done: Order a protective sleeve for the LCD screen on our TV. It is currently in great peril from Rex.
I am sure there will be more dangers and more to do as Rex and hopefully soon his sister continue their explorations. We will strive to find the right balance between keeping them safe and offering them opportunities to expand. If you have any suggestions of things we should keep in mind, please let us know.
So, here’s what we got accomplished:
1) Took my green plants upstairs because Rex likes to eat the leaves.
2) Took off the glass doors between the family room and the office (now mostly playroom) because Rex likes to slam them as often as possible.
3) Installed two additional gates to block toddler access to the parlour and dining room. The gate for the stairs that we have had for about 18 months is working very well.
4) Added more child-locks to the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen. Now everything under counter-height is secured.
5) Stacked the dressers in the office/playroom and bolted them to the wall as well as moved the armchair to the family room to create more space to play.
6) Zip-tied the glass doors of the fireplace because Rex likes to slam those, too.
7) Put protectors on some sharp furniture corners in the family room. I am sad to say, Rex has already pulled one of them off.
8) Added more outlet covers. I thought we had them all secured long ago, but you’d be surprised where more unprotected outlets show up when you move furniture.
9) Still to be done: Order a protective sleeve for the LCD screen on our TV. It is currently in great peril from Rex.
I am sure there will be more dangers and more to do as Rex and hopefully soon his sister continue their explorations. We will strive to find the right balance between keeping them safe and offering them opportunities to expand. If you have any suggestions of things we should keep in mind, please let us know.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Pudding Galore
I have shared this recipe recently with several APs whose children have come home this summer and are picky eaters or have nutritional deficiencies. I got it from a CLCP support group because cleft-affected kids sometimes have a hard time getting enough calories or nutritional content, especially after their surgeries. We fed this pudding to our son in Armenia and he liked it a lot.
It's very easy: Make a packet of instant pudding mix with Pediasure as the liquid rather than milk. It sets up the same and between two or three different Pediasure flavors and who knows how many pudding ones, there are many combinations. It stays fresh in the fridge for about two days.
Since Pediasure is kind of expensive, I will also share this second recipe here, but I can't vouch for it as I haven't tried making it yet:
2 pouches Carnation Instant Breakfast
2 cups whole milk
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
1 package instant pudding mix
Half a cup of this stuff packs 250 calories... or so I am told.
It's very easy: Make a packet of instant pudding mix with Pediasure as the liquid rather than milk. It sets up the same and between two or three different Pediasure flavors and who knows how many pudding ones, there are many combinations. It stays fresh in the fridge for about two days.
Since Pediasure is kind of expensive, I will also share this second recipe here, but I can't vouch for it as I haven't tried making it yet:
2 pouches Carnation Instant Breakfast
2 cups whole milk
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
1 package instant pudding mix
Half a cup of this stuff packs 250 calories... or so I am told.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Rex - One Week Home
Yesterday marked one week home and three weeks out of the orphanage for Rex. In no special order, here are some of the things we have learned about him:
1) Rex is a good eater and doesn’t have the overeating or picky eating food issues that some kids do. He is now on a schedule to eat three meals and two to three snacks a day and it seems to be working fine. He does not drink with his meals, so we offer fluids about 30-60 minutes after he eats and at other times, too. The only food he has rejected is hummus.
1) Rex is a good eater and doesn’t have the overeating or picky eating food issues that some kids do. He is now on a schedule to eat three meals and two to three snacks a day and it seems to be working fine. He does not drink with his meals, so we offer fluids about 30-60 minutes after he eats and at other times, too. The only food he has rejected is hummus.
2) For three weeks Rex refused all liquids except apple juice mixed with water. In a small nutritional victory, he started taking an apple carrot juice blend mixed with water yesterday. He still drinks from a bottle with a big hole cut into the nipple. It’s basically like he milks the nipple with his teeth since he cannot suck well.
3) Rex will not ride in shopping carts, but he loves to be carried in the Ergo. He has also taken well to the car seat and enjoys walks in the stroller.
4) Rex turns everything that is not a toy into one. He has fun playing with cooking spoons, pots, lids, chairs, the phone, the fireplace, doors, drawers… I could go on. You should see our house right now, it’s a mess of proper and make-shift barriers to keep him safe and some of our stuff intact. Any guesses what we’ll be doing this weekend?
5) Eye contact from/with Rex has increased tremendously. He also now seeks out more cuddling, finally resting his head on our chests and shoulders, touching our skin, etc. He is also now reaching up his arms to us to be picked up. And when we let him, he falls asleep on us. This kind of intimacy can still get overwhelming for him at times, but the improvement is noticeable.
6) Rex does have trouble regulating intense emotions, whether they are good or bad. If he gets overstimulated, his response can be a rage or he has to lie on his back and turn his head from side to side to calm down. I feel like he is getting better in this area also because if I catch the warning signs, I can remove him from the situation and calm him down by distraction or by holding him.
7) When he first got home, Rex wanted nothing to do with the carpet. Then he walked on it in socks, then barefoot. Now he will sit and lie on it, but he still will not touch it with his fingertips.
8) Rex sleeps in a crib in our bedroom. After a few nights of adjusting, he now sleeps through the night 9-10 hours, very calmly and deeply. We are happy parents partially because we are not sleep deprived.
9) Rex is not fond of bathing. He was cleaned standing up in a shallow tub at the orphanage, so he still will not sit down for a bath. He used to scream his head off while I soaped and rinsed him, but how he just whimpers. It’s progress, I’d say. Oh and he looks the cutest in his froggy bath towel.
10) Craig wanted me to put for #10 that Rex is amazing. His resilience and determination and willingness to adjust despite everything have blown us away. Our hearts are bursting with love for this little guy.
And just for fun, here is a photo of the little mischief-maker who snuck his snacks out of the diaper bag and figured out how to open them, eating to his heart's content:
Thursday, August 4, 2011
The Face That Launch'd A Thousand Ships
Four months after our dossier had been registered in Bulgaria, I saw a little boy listed with our agency on Rainbow Kids. Just a DOB, one sentence about his medical needs, no photo. I inquired and was told he was not in Bulgaria, but a few days later his info was shared with me anyway. I had at least a dozen emails about him in my inbox, but the one I opened first had this photo:
I will never forget the moment I saw him. My heart started pounding and racing, my body felt like lightning had gone through it, I was giddy. And my brain said, how can you adopt this child from Armenia? Another dossier? Tens of thousands of dollars in additional fees? And what about Bulgaria? And while all of these things were spinning through my mind, somewhere deep inside I already knew that this was my son and that I would move heaven and earth, launch a thousand ships, to bring him home.
I will never forget the moment I saw him. My heart started pounding and racing, my body felt like lightning had gone through it, I was giddy. And my brain said, how can you adopt this child from Armenia? Another dossier? Tens of thousands of dollars in additional fees? And what about Bulgaria? And while all of these things were spinning through my mind, somewhere deep inside I already knew that this was my son and that I would move heaven and earth, launch a thousand ships, to bring him home.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Rex Rage
The most challenging aspect of Rex’s transition into our family that we are experiencing are his rages. They can last anywhere from a few minutes to half an hour and they happen about four to five times a day. These rages entail kicking his legs, screaming at the top of his lungs, banging his head, pinching himself and us, sweating through his outfits and drenching his hair completely in sweat, hitting his forehead with his fist until it is bruised, and hitting his cheek with his fist until he bleeds from his mouth. While these rages happen, we hold Rex as loosely as possible, but still tight enough to prevent him from injuring himself. Sometimes we rock him and sometimes we sing to him, but for the most part we just hang in there with him until his hurt and anger and aggression subside.
This morning started with a half hour rage which I believe was set off by Craig leaving for work. Rex gave himself a bloody nose though I don’t know if it came from a self-inflicted punch or simply from the pressure of crying and struggling for such a long time. When the rage was finally coming to an end, Rex settled his head into my chest and fell asleep. I lay down on the floor with him and he slept cuddled up on top of me for about half an hour. The feeling of reaching the other side of a rage with my son for me is one of great peace, accomplishment and closeness, like a profound quiet and reward after a wild storm.
I am not sharing this information publically to deter anyone from adoption. On the contrary, I want you to know that our son is an immeasurable blessing to us. He is resilience personified and I am proud of how he has handled the first two years of his life. He survived near starvation in infancy and has bounced back to the 15th percentile in weight on US growth charts now. He survived a surgery and week-long hospital stay without doting parents by his side. He survived and still does yet untreated medical conditions that affect his development. He survived orphanage life being the child who was described as “loves playing alone,” as “best not disturbed when he’s doing something,” as “moody or having a volatile temper.” No, he wasn’t the sweet, cuddly and receptive kid that every orphanage caretaker loves to snuggle or play with or teach, so he survived without it. He did what he had to do to make it through all of these experiences and deprivations and it is going to take lots of time, patience and love from us to help him heal and realize that he can live differently now.
I wrote this entry because I want everyone considering adoption to get educated and everyone in process to get prepared. Read books, join forums, ask questions of experts, of your agency, of other adopters, follow adoptive families’ blogs, connect with knowledgeable local adoptive parents, and find resources for help in your area. You have to go into this experience not only with your heart wide open, but also with your eyes wide open. You may not face the exact struggles that we are currently handling, but I guarantee there will be something at some point on this road. I am so grateful for all I learned in the last two years from books and online sources as well as from blogs and forums. I am thankful for the wise adoptive moms and dads I have met, for the advice and encouragement we have been given by doctors and their staffs, social workers, (P)APs, and our agency, and for the understanding and generosity of our own families. It’s a tremendous asset to us now that our son is home to be able to tackle this transition so well educated, so well prepared, and so well supported.
This morning started with a half hour rage which I believe was set off by Craig leaving for work. Rex gave himself a bloody nose though I don’t know if it came from a self-inflicted punch or simply from the pressure of crying and struggling for such a long time. When the rage was finally coming to an end, Rex settled his head into my chest and fell asleep. I lay down on the floor with him and he slept cuddled up on top of me for about half an hour. The feeling of reaching the other side of a rage with my son for me is one of great peace, accomplishment and closeness, like a profound quiet and reward after a wild storm.
I am not sharing this information publically to deter anyone from adoption. On the contrary, I want you to know that our son is an immeasurable blessing to us. He is resilience personified and I am proud of how he has handled the first two years of his life. He survived near starvation in infancy and has bounced back to the 15th percentile in weight on US growth charts now. He survived a surgery and week-long hospital stay without doting parents by his side. He survived and still does yet untreated medical conditions that affect his development. He survived orphanage life being the child who was described as “loves playing alone,” as “best not disturbed when he’s doing something,” as “moody or having a volatile temper.” No, he wasn’t the sweet, cuddly and receptive kid that every orphanage caretaker loves to snuggle or play with or teach, so he survived without it. He did what he had to do to make it through all of these experiences and deprivations and it is going to take lots of time, patience and love from us to help him heal and realize that he can live differently now.
I wrote this entry because I want everyone considering adoption to get educated and everyone in process to get prepared. Read books, join forums, ask questions of experts, of your agency, of other adopters, follow adoptive families’ blogs, connect with knowledgeable local adoptive parents, and find resources for help in your area. You have to go into this experience not only with your heart wide open, but also with your eyes wide open. You may not face the exact struggles that we are currently handling, but I guarantee there will be something at some point on this road. I am so grateful for all I learned in the last two years from books and online sources as well as from blogs and forums. I am thankful for the wise adoptive moms and dads I have met, for the advice and encouragement we have been given by doctors and their staffs, social workers, (P)APs, and our agency, and for the understanding and generosity of our own families. It’s a tremendous asset to us now that our son is home to be able to tackle this transition so well educated, so well prepared, and so well supported.
Timeline Of Our Armenian Adoption
March 27, 2010: saw “Collin’s” profile on Rainbow Kids and inquired
March 31, 2010: info about Collin/Karen sent to us, saw his beautiful face for the first time
April 5, 2010: started home study update document gathering
April 15, 2010: consultation and evaluation with Dr. Staat at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital
May 10, 2010: officially told our agency that we want to adopt Karen
May 28, 2010: home study finished and approved by placing agency
May 29, 2010: USCIS I-800A application mailed
July 24, 2010: USCIS approval arrives and is incorrect
August 7, 2010: mailed I-800A Supplement 3 paperwork
August ?, 2010: dossier to Armenia
August 30, 2010: received new I-797 with my name on it incorrect/incomplete
September 3, 2010: received corrected I-797
November 1, 2010: first PM approval from Armenia
November 3, 2010: invitation to travel
November 12, 2010: arrive in Armenia and meet our son
November 18, 2010: sign paperwork to accept referral and proceed with adoption
November 19, 2010: return to the US
January 27, 2011: request from Armenia for updated fingerprints for Craig
March 18, 2011: final PM approval granted by Armenian government
May 2, 2011: USCIS I-800 filed after delays in getting the Article 16 documents
May 10, 2011: re-file returned I-800 with USCIS
May 20, 2011: refile a yet returned again I-800 with USCIS
June 11, 2011: receive I-800 approval
June 24, 2011: Article 5 Letter released
July 1, 2011: invitation to travel
July 9, 2011: arrive in Yerevan
July 11, 2011: court
July 12, 2011: court decree making the adoption official is proclaimed and released
July 14, 2011 Together Forever Day
July 25, 2011 US visa issued
July 28, 2011: home
March 31, 2010: info about Collin/Karen sent to us, saw his beautiful face for the first time
April 5, 2010: started home study update document gathering
April 15, 2010: consultation and evaluation with Dr. Staat at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital
May 10, 2010: officially told our agency that we want to adopt Karen
May 28, 2010: home study finished and approved by placing agency
May 29, 2010: USCIS I-800A application mailed
July 24, 2010: USCIS approval arrives and is incorrect
August 7, 2010: mailed I-800A Supplement 3 paperwork
August ?, 2010: dossier to Armenia
August 30, 2010: received new I-797 with my name on it incorrect/incomplete
September 3, 2010: received corrected I-797
November 1, 2010: first PM approval from Armenia
November 3, 2010: invitation to travel
November 12, 2010: arrive in Armenia and meet our son
November 18, 2010: sign paperwork to accept referral and proceed with adoption
November 19, 2010: return to the US
January 27, 2011: request from Armenia for updated fingerprints for Craig
March 18, 2011: final PM approval granted by Armenian government
May 2, 2011: USCIS I-800 filed after delays in getting the Article 16 documents
May 10, 2011: re-file returned I-800 with USCIS
May 20, 2011: refile a yet returned again I-800 with USCIS
June 11, 2011: receive I-800 approval
June 24, 2011: Article 5 Letter released
July 1, 2011: invitation to travel
July 9, 2011: arrive in Yerevan
July 11, 2011: court
July 12, 2011: court decree making the adoption official is proclaimed and released
July 14, 2011 Together Forever Day
July 25, 2011 US visa issued
July 28, 2011: home
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