Troll Trouble

Uhuh, it looks like I have finally been found by a troll named Suzee who left this comment.  I want to make sure all of my readers have a chance to see it here as it provides valuable insight into the minds of those who have clearly done their homework regarding the practices, processes, and effects of international adoption.  I also want to thank Suzee for her professional and qualified medical assessment regarding my children's apparent FAS.

"So awesome to know you're in the market to purchase another kid from a corrupt country! Yippee! It's wonderful that you continue to support crime, corruption and human trafficking by spending upwards of $30k per kid!! Jesus must be thrilled!!!!

Ps both your kiddos have facial features consistent with prenatal alcohol exposure!! You'll have tons of fun with that + trauma!!"

IAC 226 Results

The following referral were issued in IAC Session 126 which was held on June 27, 2012:

1) Italian dossier from December 2008 referred a female child aged 5 years and 11 months

2) Italian dossier from January 2009 referred a waiting child (#1807) with a profile on the MOJ site

3) Spanish dossier from June 2009 referred a female child aged 4 years

4) Italian dossier from June 2009 referred a male child aged 3 years and 10 months

5) Italian dossier from February 2010 referred a male child aged 10 years

6) US dossier from October 2011 referred a male child aged 3 years and 2 months with a family history

7) Italian dossier from February 2012 referred a male child aged 9 years and 4 months

8) Italian dossier from March 2012 referred a male child aged 9 years and 2 months

9) French dossier from April 2012 referred a waiting child (#1827) with a profile on the MOJ site

10) US dossier from June 2012 referred a waiting child (#1238) with a profile on the MOJ site

11) US dossier from June 2012 referred two waiting children (#1764 & #305) with profiles on the MOJ site

12) US dossier from June 2012 referred a waiting child (#1765) with a profile on the MOJ site

Sunday Sundries

We had a pretty low key weekend here at the Martini house.  On Saturday morning, Craig and the kids ran some errands while I attended the first ever PTO meeting at Rex's preschool.  It was an interesting hour and a lot of good ideas were generated though I am wondering how the follow through will turn out.  I did not yet commit myself to any projects as we are new to the school and I feel like I should learn the ropes a bit more before taking on leadership activities.

On Saturday afternoon we headed to Indiana to get some peaches at one of our favorite orchards. Everything is early this year due to the heat and drought, so I wanted to make sure we did not miss the peaches.  On Sunday I turned a good portion of them into jam and we will enjoy eating the rest over the remainder of the week unless I get brave and try my hand at dehydrating.

Peaches juicing

Peaches simmering

Peach jam

On Sunday evening, I made a favorite (if weird to Americans) German dinner: cold cucumber soup with mashed potatoes and scrambled eggs. The twist this time was that I used the Armenian cucumbers from my garden along with homegrown dill.  We're a cultural melting pot around here... literally.

A childhood favorite of mine

In other news, we are trying to teach Rex how to use headphones to listen to music.  Here's the first time that he kept them on for an entire song:

And another first, our Emilia-girl with pigtails:

Summer's been quite busy for us, so it's been nice to have a lazy-ish weekend at home.  Home is our favorite place, a safe haven where we can rest, relax, and regenerate.

IAC 225 Results

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 225 which was held on June 20, 2012:

1) Canadian dossier from March 2009 referred a female child aged 3 years and 5 months

2) US dossier from March 2010 referred two children, female and male, aged 3 years and 1 month & 2 years with features in health status and a family history

3) Dutch dossier from April 2010 referred two male children aged 5 years and 5 months and 4 years and 5 months

4) Italian dossier from August 2010 referred two children, female and male, aged 7 years and 10 months & 5 years and 2 months

5) Italian dossier from June 2012 referred two female children aged 11 years and 2 months and 7 years and 3 months

6) US dossier from June 2012 referred a waiting child (#1528) with a profile on the MOJ site

One Year Home - July 28, 2012

Letter to My 2008 Self on the First Anniversary of Rex’s Homecoming

Dear Viviane,

I know that for a few years you have been thinking about having children and the discussion has been ongoing with Craig as well.  Fortunately, both of you are certain that your lives will be happy and full with or without little ones added into the mix.  But a decision has to be made and soon because you don’t see yourself as an older mother.  To be honest, you don’t see yourself as a mother at all.  You think you are far too selfish.  You like to sleep, you like it quiet, you like being alone. And you want things to be just so: tidy, clean, tasty, healthy, perfect.  You hate surprises and are a Type A long-term, detail-oriented planner.  You are impatient and have high standards for yourself and those around you.  You are not mother material in your own mind.

But let me tell you something: you have a huge heart, you have boundless love, and you have incredible strength.  Trust me, I’m nearly always right.  You will see the photo of a little boy thousands of miles away and he will be yours from that very second.  The process of bringing him home will take you to your breaking point and having him home will stretch you far and wide beyond your wildest imagination.  This boy will not be healthy or typical.  On the contrary, he will have needs so great that you will feel like your life has become a scary twilight zone, a place where you search for something in the dark without a flashlight.  You will cry more tears in those first months of motherhood than you’ve ever cried before.  You will work harder and on more levels than you believe you can handle.  You will sleep less than you did in college and feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and petrified much of the time.  You will learn to let it go, you will learn to stay in the moment, you will learn to celebrate the little things.  You will learn to take it one day at a time, sometimes one hour.  You will learn it hard and fast.

Call yourself crazy, but guess what?  You’re also going to have a little girl.  She will be a virtual twin to your son and come home to you very soon after his arrival.  This child is more stubborn than you and I know you consider yourself the world’s most stubborn woman.  Brace yourself, you have met your match.

Do you realize your assets as your contemplate this decision?  You have an idea now that you have good instincts about people and life in general.  You do. Trust them.  You will find yourself in many new and unexpected situations.  Listen to your gut.  Use your brain.  Follow your heart.  You will never have all the answers, but you will always feel confident in your decisions.  No need to encourage this independent, defiant streak in you, but keep doing your own thing and don’t put too much stock by what others might say.  Cherish your husband.  There’s no better man and no better father-to-be. Count on your family and friends because they will be there for you if you ask.  Oh yes, you will have to learn to ask for help.  It will drive you crazy, but that’s part of the plan.  You will make new friends, too, around the world, other adoptive mothers and their families.  They will be dear to you and a source of support you don’t know you will have.  You will become an adoption resource and help many on their journeys to becoming adoptive families.

If I told you now that your children will bring out the very best in you, I know you wouldn’t believe it.  If I told you now their list of diagnoses, I know you would not consider adopting them.  If I told you now how your heart will burst with love and pride over these little ones, you would think it impossible.  If I told you now that you are made to be their mother, you would be filled with doubt.  If I told you now that you will rise to every challenge, you would not consider yourself able.

Have faith!  Nothing will be as you dreamed or imagined.  Everything will change.  You will be different, but at the core you already have everything you need: love, determination, knowledge, strength, responsibility, firm ethics, courage, and generosity.  You will be blessed.  You will be filled with happiness.  You will be grateful.  You will be a good mother.

Love from 2012,

Me

SEMO

As some of you know, Craig and I lived in southeastern Missouri for about three years.  This week, Craig had to return there on business, so the kids and I joined him on the trip which, for me, served as a reminder of what was good about living in Missouri and also of why I never want to live there again.

We rented a cabin on the grounds of a vineyard.  It was a beautiful setting though with heat indexes around 110, we did not get to enjoy it as much as we'd wanted.

Sunrise

View from our cabin

Little boy on the prairie

Admiring the wide open sky

We didn't know it when we booked, but they also keep quite a lot of horses at the vineyard.  They often came right up to our cabin and we were able to get a good look.  I think this was the first time that my children took note of a live animal other than a neighborhood dog.

Horses roaming

Hello there, beautiful!

While in Missouri, we also had the opportunity to catch up with old friends which was so much fun.  And, as if this weren't enough, we got together with a wonderful family who adopted a little boy from Rex's orphanage.  The boys are only about two months apart in age and spent a long time together in the same room.  We were told by our translator that they were friends.  I forgot to ask if I was allowed to post a picture on my blog of their reunion, so I might do it at a later time.

After three days in Missouri (we even drove through our old neighborhood and showed the kids where we used to live), all of us were ready to come back to Ohio.  When we walked into the door here, Rex bubbled over with happiness.  I think sometimes he is still afraid that we might leave him somewhere or not return to the home he loves.

Bracing herself for the long car ride

It's just like they say, there's no place like home.

Emilia - Thirty-Five Weeks Home

Today marks thirty-five weeks home for Emilia.

It’s been a great two weeks with a little girl who is always happy, unless she does not get her way or her food.  My tiny tot is looking good and growing, her hair is getting long, she’s got chubby cheeks and arms and legs and a belly.  When we were out at the grocery store, someone even said to us about the kids, “Oh, they’re close in age” as opposed to assuming that Rex is a toddler and Emilia is an infant.  “Yes,” I answered.  “How close?”  “Seven months apart.”  Confused look… “How close?”  “Seven months apart.”  I love those moments where people want to ask more, but decide to just walk away.

We have experienced a noticeable uptick in Emilia’s babbling.  There are more and longer random sound combinations now, like heeyaga, owelee, ewelyn, etc.  She has also started making sounds back and forth with us, but she always chooses the sound and does not change it if we change ours.  Emilia has also begun chewing her fingers and some objects around the house which OT tells us is a great sign for being ready for more textures and a willingness to finger-feed.  At the same time, I am trying to reduce her thumb-sucking which is still a means of quick soothing for Emilia when distressed.  I am not stopping it altogether, but just pulling her thumb out of her mouth when I am comforting her which she is accepting quite well.

Emilia is working very hard to use her hands more appropriately.  She is trying to pick up with pincer grasps or at least by using her middle finger and thumb. She isolates her index finger (or sometimes middle finger – yes, some awkward moments in public) to point and last night she waved bye-bye for the first time to the cashier at the store.  She knows the sign for more, but will sign it by putting together our hands rather than her own.  Emilia is quite agile up and down the stairs now and can get a couple of unassisted jumps in on the trampoline.  She’s still reluctant to participate in structured activities, but she is always keeping busy and learning on her own.

She still loves to look out the windows.

We used to be very worried about Emilia’s nutritional intake, but those days are over.  Our girl likes to eat.  And she is upset when someone eats and she does not.  She hovers in the kitchen when food is being prepared to make sure she doesn’t miss a meal.  I have cut back on her fat calories and increased her fruit and liquid intake. She loves drinking smoothies, so we have a great way to get her vitamins and fiber.

We are so blessed to have this little Bulgarian angel in our family.  Emilia is so loving and showers us with hugs and kisses, smiles and giggles every day.  She adores Rex and continues to approach and engage him to the best of her ability.  She’s a wonderful sister and a cherished daughter.