For the coming school year, Emilia once again qualifies for preschool services and the three types of therapy. Our preschool runs for four days a week and your child attends either a morning or afternoon session, depending on your neighborhood of residence. Not counting time on the bus, the children are in the classroom about 2.75 hours a day.
I think the Special Needs Coordinator at the school knew that we would not go for the four day preschool as I had already explained that we have a new child joining us in the fall and that time together as a family to bond is really important. So, the school offered for Emilia to attend two days of preschool a week and, even though we are an afternoon neighborhood, that she could go in the morning. Her therapists know that she still naps, so right now the afternoon session would not be ideal. Overall we were really excited about the offer except...
From the first of this idea being casually mentioned by Emilia's school SLP, I said that we would need to take special measures to transition Emilia into the setting. In other words, it would be necessary for me to accompany her into the classroom and through the morning on at least her first two days in the program. Initially, there seemed to be no problem with this request, but one day before the IEP meeting we received an email stating that I would not be permitted into the classroom. Craig and I talked it over and were quickly agreed that if this was the final word on the matter, Emilia would not be attending preschool in the fall. We went into the IEP meeting with firm resolve on this issue.
The IEP meeting took 45 minutes and we left it without having come to an agreement with the school. I think they believed that they would be able to convince us to change our minds (or maybe that we would simply accept their ruling on the matter), but there was no way this was going to happen. They just don't know Craig and me that well yet. Plus, when sentences such as "We know how to handle tantrums" entered the conversation, I realized that some school personnel around the table didn't really understand why we were asking for this accommodation. Of course, I was prepared for just such a scenario and had printed up research about the structural changes in the brains of globally neglected toddlers and on who were exposed to chronic and traumatic stress and how these changes can affect their reactions to seemingly non-threatening situations, such as classroom settings.
We know that Emilia experiences a persistent fear response and often hyperarousal when faced with sudden new circumstances. We recognize these situations easily as she will revert to some of her orphanage behaviors, sucking her thumb and/or sticking her fingers into her ears. Sometimes she may also cover her eyes. It's not always possible or even desirable for her to be sheltered from such novel experiences, but it is always paramount that either Craig or I are by her side to support and guide her through them. Hence, my request to join her in the classroom at the start of the school year.
The IEP meeting ended with the school staff telling us that they would need to discuss the matter among themselves and with some other officials. Craig and I were perfectly fine with this and knew we would be okay, too, if they came back with their stance unchanged. It would simply mean that Emilia would not be attending preschool and would only utilize the school's therapy services in 2014/15.
On Tuesday we received word from the district that I will, in fact, be allowed to personally transition Emilia into preschool. I know her therapists argued in favor of this accommodation on her behalf with the school's administration. We are grateful for their help in the matter and for the fact that they trust our parenting to know what's best for Emilia. Our tiny treasure is worth every battle we have to fight to give her just the right opportunities at the right time.
I have avoided enrolling Emery in public school special education for that very reason. They want her to attend full time. With the bus ride, she would be away from home about 9 hours per day. I am not certain she is ready for that. The district also did not seem to understand why I would need to ride the bus with her and stay in school with her for the first two days. Emery would most likely transition with ease with me there. But without me there, she would be beyond terrified and I cannot put her through that. Education decisions are difficult,
ReplyDeleteI agree.
ReplyDeleteThe only reason that we are allowing Emilia to go is the customized two day week with only 2.75 hours in the classroom a day. With the bus ride, she will be away from home about 7 hours per week total. We believe that she is ready for that at this time and will enjoy preschool after safely transitioning in with me. It helps that she's only 4, so the school has leeway in regard to attendance.
Where a private therapist is chosen, hired and retained because they work to become part of your team, the public school system does a disservice to the teachers and parents alike when its structure prevents choosing between teachers and therapists. It does often require lots of education to make the relationship successful... and often a beautiful support system forms. However, in Jordan's team of five, there is one person who we cannot see eye to eye with and that is really unfortunate. And I can't replace her. And that is unfortunate, because it means I have to trust this person with my child or lose out on the rest of the good opportunities. We do our best with a detailed IEP, but... yeah. Good work, Viviane! And I hope it works out.
ReplyDeleteI trust all the therapists on her school district team (she has others privately) as well as the preschool teacher. I don't so much trust the school administration, but they will not be involved in the day to day care and have already signed off on everything we wanted.
ReplyDeleteEveryone on the team is aware that if we see any regression or other issues with Emilia at home after she begins attending preschool, we will remove her from the program. They are also aware that our long-term plan is for homeschool, but we realize that Emilia will likely gain valuable play and communication skills in the preschool classroom this coming year which we could not easily teach at home.