Halloween Florentines Recipe

Here's the recipe from Martha Stewart Living Magazine.  They called them Spiderweb Florentines, but I liked the rhyming name better, too.

1/2 cup pecans, toasted
2 tablespoons old-fashioned rolled oats (I used GF oats)
6 tablespoons unsalted butter (I used Earth Balance vegan buttery sticks)
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup light-brown sugar, packed
2 teaspoons honey
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour (I used GF all-purpose flour)
1/4 teaspoon coarse salt
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
5 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped (I used DF chocolate chips)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Pulse pecans and oats in a food processor until finely ground.  Melt butter in a small saucepan. Add sugars and honey and cook over medium heat, stirring, until sugar are melted and mixture is simmering, about three minutes.  Remove from heat and stir in pecan mixture, flour, salt, and cinnamon.  Refrigerate until firm, about 30 minutes.

Mound two teaspoonfuls of dough, one on top of the other, to form each cookie; place 2-3 inches apart on parchment-lined baking sheets.  Flatten stacked mounds to 1 3/4 inches in diameter.  Bake until cookies are spread and golden throughout, about 10 minutes.  Let cool completely.  Repeat with remaining dough.

Melt chocolate and use to decorate the cookies as you like.  Let set or refrigerate before serving.

Halloween Florentines

Rex's school is always very good about celebrating holidays and birthdays.  Typically, they will set aside the afternoon to commemorate special occasions.  Tomorrow is no exception, so I decided to send in a treat: Halloween Florentines.  They are gluten-free, dairy-free, and yummy.  They were supposed to look more like spider webs... oh well, I am no Martha Stewart.

Of course, Craig was kind enough to offer himself as a taste-tester and approved of the sweet and salty and nutty combination.

Liebster Blog Award

There's a little thing going around where bloggers select their own favorite blogs and honor them with the Liebster Blog Award.  One of my readers and fellow adoptive mom, Sabrina, chose our blog which means I win an all expense paid trip to Hawaii.  No, not really.  It just means that I get to answer the following questions for all of you:

1. What led to your decision to adopt a child with special needs?

I guess it was chance or kismet in our case.  We did not set out to adopt children with special needs.  In our initial home study we were open only to mild and correctable special needs.  Then we saw Rex with cleft lip/palate and severe hearing loss and fell in love.  When we adopted him, we had no idea that there would be many more significant and permanent diagnoses added to his life.  I have always admitted that if we had known all of these needs from his profile, we would never have inquired about him through Rainbow Kids.  As things turned out though, he was meant for us because Rex's adoption unfolded in such a way that in hindsight I believe everything was orchestrated by a higher power who must know better for us than we know for ourselves.  Which brings me to the answer for the next question...

2. In what ways did God let you know He was with you during your adoption process?

The adoption process to bring home Rex was very frustrating and painful for Craig and me.  We experienced many, many delays and obstacles.  A higher power was not on the forefront of our minds as we went through these trying months.  On the contrary, it felt like powerful human authorities held all the cards and were putting up road blocks for us at every bend.  When I look back on the journey to Rex though and see how all the pieces fell into place, how some things were revealed to us and others remained hidden until he was home, how we waited for eight endless months between trips until our hearts were bursting with love and longing for our son... I believe that it was all meant to be.  We were chosen for each other so we could be stretched to so much more than we ever thought possible.  We couldn't have imagined that our spiritual master teacher would come to us in the form of a developmentally disabled child, but here he is, growing our minds and hearts bigger and stronger and wiser every single day.

As for Emilia, we believe that no better daughter or sister could have been matched with our family.  Her spirit and personality are so exactly suited to balancing the challenges with joy, laughter, light, and love for all of us that we must have been brought together by a divinely provident force.

3. What is your favorite children's book?

Okay, you are asking an avid reader and former literature major here.  It's like opening a Pandora's box and you'll never just get one title as your answer.  Let's just say that I love the Little House series, Harry Potter, Eric Carle, the Ottokar Domma books (from the GDR), Die Goldenen Schneeschuhe (from the GDR - I have read this book many times in my life, probably time to read it again soon).

4. What is your favorite dessert?

Hot fudge sundae with peanut butter, hold the cherry.

5. If you had a whole day to yourself, what would you do?

Stay in bed to read, sleep, and watch reruns of my favorite TV shows.

6. Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Totally a morning person.  Always have been and love it.  In fact, I got up at 5 today just to get some work done on the computer.  In college while others pulled all-nighters to prepare for exams, I was known to go to bed at 9, then get up at 4 or so to do my studying.  Don't ask me for anything important after about 7:00 pm though because my brain starts to shut down.

7. Do you have one piece of advice or encouragement for other adopting families?

It's gonna be okay.  

8. What is your favorite holiday?

Actually, I am not a big holiday person.  I typically find them to be a bit stressful.  So, my favorite holidays are lazy, relaxing Saturday nights and Sunday mornings cuddled up on the couch with those I love, maybe with Chinese or Thai take-out or cinnamon rolls baking in the oven, a good movie or just the news, in comfy pajamas, with no rush or obligation in the world.

9. What is your favorite post on your blog?

I like anything that I post about my kids.  Not sure if I have one exact favorite, but the Together Forever Day entries come to mind with before and after photos and video from Rex's leaving the orphanage.

10. How many months were each of your adoptions from start to finish?

We sent our application to adopt from Bulgaria to our placing agency on 2/14/09 and had Emilia's Together Forever Day on 11/14/11.  We saw Rex's profile on Rainbow Kids on 3/27/10 and his Together Forever Day was 7/14/11.

Now for my Liebster blog: http://pitterpatterart.com - sometimes I wish I could be like this mom.  I want to be creative like her, I want to eat everything she bakes, I want to be able to let my kids be as free as hers, I want to exercise like she does... well, just hop over there and check it out for yourself.

IAC 259 & 260

The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 259 which was held on September 18, 2013:

1) Italian dossier from October 2010 referred a female child aged 7 years and 5 months

2) Italian dossier from November 2010 referred a brother and sister aged 5 years and 7 months & 6 years and 7 months

3) Italian dossier from November 2010 referred a waiting child (#1914) with a profile on the MOJ site

4) US dossier from February 2011 referred a male child aged 2 years with features in health status and a family history

5) French dossier from April 2011 referred a male child aged 7 years and 11 months

6) Italian dossier from May 2011 referred a female child aged 2 years and 8 months with a family history

7) French dossier from June 2011 referred a male child aged 2 years and 11 months with a family history

8) Swedish dossier from September 2011 referred a female child aged 2 years and 6 months with features in health status and a family history

9) Italian dossier from March 2012 referred a female child aged 8 years and 2 months

10) US dossier from October 2012 referred a male child aged 2 years and 1 month with features in health status

11) US dossier from June 2013 referred a waiting child (#1892) with a profile on the MOJ site

12) US dossier from July 2013 referred a waiting child (#1761) with a profile on the MOJ site

13) US dossier from August 2013 referred two waiting children (#1849 & #2146) with profiles on the MOJ site

14) US dossier from August 2013 referred a waiting child (#1987) with a profile on the MOJ site

15) US dossier from August 2013 referred a waiting child (#1820) with a profile on the MOJ site

16) US dossier from September 2013 referred a waiting child (#2054) with a profile on the MOJ site

17) US dossier from September 2013 referred two waiting children (#1477 & #1938) with profiles on the MOJ site

18) US dossier from September 2013 referred two waiting children (#1258 & #1880) with profiles on the MOJ site

19) Swedish dossier from September 2013 referred a waiting child (#1371) with a profile on the MOJ site
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The following referrals were issued in IAC Session 260 held on October 2, 2013:

1) Dutch dossier from January 2010 referred brothers aged 5 years and 1 month & 3 years and 5 months

2) Greek dossier from February 2010 referred a male child aged 1 year and 5 months

3) Italian dossier from May 2010 referred a male child aged 6 years and 5 months

4) Italian dossier from August 2010 referred a male child aged 6 years and 8 months

5) German dossier from December 2011 referred a female child aged 7 years and 11 months

6) Greek dossier from January 2012 referred a waiting child (#2137) with a profile on the MOJ site

7) US dossier from March 2012 referred brothers aged 4 years and 10 months & 6 years and 1 month with features in health status

8) US dossier from June 2012 referred a female child aged 1 year and 10 months with features in health status

9) Italian dossier from July 2012 referred a waiting child (#2172) with a profile on the MOJ site

10) Italian dossier from December 2012 referred two waiting children (#2218 & #2219) with profiles on the MOJ site

11) US dossier from December 2012 referred a male child aged 2 years and 9 months with features in health status

12) German dossier from February 2013 referred a female child aged 8 years and 10 months

13) Canadian dossier from February 2013 referred a female child aged 1 year and 10 months with features in health status

14) Italian dossier from May 2013 referred a male child aged 8 years and 8 months

15) Italian dossier from June 2013 referred a waiting child (#2261) with a profile on the MOJ site

16) US dossier from August 2013 referred a waiting child (#2231) with a profile on the MOJ site

17) US dossier from September 2013 referred a waiting child (#1675) with a profile on the MOJ site

18) US dossier from September 2013 referred a waiting child (#2078) with a profile on the MOJ site

19) US dossier from September 2013 referred a waiting child (#1966) with a profile on the MOJ site

20) US dossier from September 2013 referred a waiting child (#14) with a profile on the MOJ site

The Brotherhood Of The Traveling Coat

I don't know about you, but I always have a really hard time going through my kids' clothes and getting rid of stuff that simply does not fit anymore.  It feels like so many of their items of clothing carry special memories: I recall when they wore something to one place or another or that they wore it when they first did such and such or that they always looked so cute in it... you get the idea.  That said, being the daughter and grand-daughter of some pack rat people, I fully realize that I have to part with these things.  They are just objects and the memories are in my heart rather than in the piece of clothing.  So, at least twice a year I force myself to sort and purge.  I always like it best when I can pass some of the clothes on to other little ones I know.

Last June, I handed down some of Rex's clothes to friends in process of adopting their son from Bulgaria.  It was not easy for me to let go of these things, but I had made up my mind and truly wanted them to have the clothing.  Still, there was a sad pang in my heart when I gave them the bag.  This evening my friend sent me a photo that made my heart go pitter-patter with the opposite emotion.  As soon as I opened the picture of their son's Gotcha Day outfit, I recognized Rex's jacket, one of the things that I had struggled to give up.  This time last year, he used to wear it a lot and yes, he always looked so adorable in it.

Rex in the jacket in October 2012

"We're taking a part of Rex with us for the big day," the email read.  Such nice words by my friend and what a sweet gesture to let me know that they remembered our gift.  Now there is only one thing better than receiving this message which will be to see a photo of their beautiful boy walking out of the orphanage into a bright, happy future with his family, wearing this cute outfit.  I can't imagine Rex's old coat being at a more special occasion than another child beginning his new life.

Pay It Forward September/October

As always, just staying accountable with our Pay It Forward funds...

Every other month, I look forward to the Hidden Treasures Auction which always supports the adoption of a child from Emilia's birth country.  This time around, the money raised in this event went to the Caiazza Family.  I bid on a custom-knitted Christmas stocking and won it for $15.  I am really excited for Rex to get his one-of-a-kind stocking for this coming holiday season.  I think it will look great hanging from the mantle with the knit-stocking I bought for Emilia in Sofia.

The remainder of our September/October funds ($45 and then some) are being used to start a fundraising project very close to my heart.  I am committed to raising $10,000 for a little boy named "Neal" who lives in an orphanage in Eastern Europe.  I am very familiar with this orphanage and know this little guy is receiving good care, but he needs a family.  His medical needs would improve greatly if he received proper therapy as well.  It will take me a long time and much help from others to raise this money, but if I succeed, Neal's international fee will be covered.  The money would be available to a family that has registered with him for adoption in his birth city.  If Neal is not adopted, the money will wait for him to provide care and education as an adult.  As you can see, I have added a fundraising thermometer on the right hand side of our blog, so you can track my progress.  Keep checking back here for more information about Neal and for mini fundraising events. If you would like to make a tax-deductible contribution to Neal's grant fund or are interested in adopting him, please email me at viviane 8 at yahoo dot com and I will point you in the right direction.

Bonding & Attachment

In recent weeks I have been thinking a lot about different aspects of adoption and how far we have come over the last two years with the kids.  The start of the new school year has shown us that we now have a pretty solid routine in place as a family and are managing well between the everyday and the special occasions of life.  Don't get me wrong, parenting is still a challenge, but it feels like we're on a roll now, together, as a securely attached family.

When we adopted Rex, he was 28 months old.  He was angry, he was frustrated, he was aggressive.  He was physically strong and emotionally/socially neglected.  Between that and his multiple diagnoses, we have been told by several pediatric and developmental specialists that the way Rex attached to us is a near miracle.

Rex took to Craig right away.  They were buddies from the first day of our pick-up trip.  Rex enjoyed doing everything with his daddy and allowed physical closeness and comforting.  Craig must have spent hundreds of hours with Rex in the baby carrier.  The first night out of the orphanage, Rex fell asleep in Craig's arm, head on his chest.

Snuggled into the baby carrier in Yerevan

With me, attachment was a totally different story.  I was a woman and Rex had had some bad experiences with our particular gender, so he saved his worst behavior for me.  This encompassed anything from simply ignoring me to outright rejecting me to physically hurting me, for months.  When Craig went back to work after we returned from Armenia, Rex threw multiple rages every day, injuring himself and me.  When Craig came home from work each night, I became invisible to Rex.  But by some inexplicable and miraculous grace, I already loved my boy.  The 16 months it took us to bring him home from when we first saw his picture had prepared my heart and nothing that Rex was doing could stop it from overflowing with compassion, affection, and patience for my child.  Yes, I was exhausted and sad and hurt, but nothing could take away my love for Rex.

Rex has been home for 27 months.  Daddy is still his favorite person in the world, but I am now next on his list.  Rex sometimes still struggles to show his true feelings for me, but I know he loves me.  When I ask him for a kiss, I almost always get it.  When he needs to settle down, I am the one who can best help him calm.  At bedtime, Rex snuggles as close as he can to my body and pulls my arms around him, holding on for dear life.  It took a lot of effort from both of us to get to this point and we are still a work in progress, but I have no doubt that Rex knows Craig and me as his people, trusted and loved above all others, sought for comfort, for safety, for help.  We've staked our claims: he is ours and we are his.

Emilia came home at 25 months old.  She was malnourished, sickly, and weak.  She was withdrawn and frightened by almost everything.  The first months with Emilia were so hard.  She would not and could not make her needs known.  She would simply cry and we did not understand why.  Emilia could not sleep through the night and was up with us for several of the wee hours every night.  She refused most foods, but so badly needed the nutrition.  She could only be held and comforted in certain ways.  She was whiny, so very needy, and not very likable to me.   Those first six weeks I just went through the motions of parenting her.  I tried to meet her needs as joyfully as I could, but I did not ooey-gooey love her.

Emilia at about a week home

Things changed when we figured out Emilia's food allergies and her iron deficiency.  Addressing those issues altered not only her physical well-being, but also her mood.  Her true personality was finally able to shine through.  She was sleeping through the night and taking long midday naps.  She was eating all the nutritious purees I was preparing for her.  She started being more alert and less weepy.  Craig and I also felt better, more rested, more competent and confident in learning how to meet our daughter's needs which opened up our hearts for attachment.

It still took another year for Emilia to overcome most of the early trauma she had suffered.  Developmental progress was slow, her trust in us was slow, but her generally happy nature and sweet, lively personality made up for those hard-fought battles. I still remember one day sitting on the couch and Emilia coming voluntarily to be held. Not just held, but cradled like a baby, gazing up at me and settling into me.  A year earlier this would have been impossible for her to enjoy or even allow.  A milestone of attachment.

At almost two years home, Emilia still retains her overly, but not indiscriminately friendly approach to strangers, but I believe she relies most on Craig and me for all of her needs.  Like a typical (developmental) toddler, she isn't happy with us when she does not get her way and she vies for our attention.  She does not like to be away from us for too long and is always happy to see us after a separation.  She trusts us completely, so much so that she is willing to test the boundaries.  Emilia loves to cuddle and gives countless hugs and kisses to us each day.  As for Craig and me, Emilia is our daughter through and through.  Sometimes now we lie awake at night thinking and talking about her upcoming major surgery and making ourselves sick with worry that feels like an iron grip around our hearts.  If that's not the mark of true parenthood, I don't know what would be.

Attachment is an organic and ongoing process.  Attachments have to be nurtured to remain healthy and strong.  Attachment really is work; it involves conscious choices, patience, sometimes a thick skin to keep the insults and injuries in perspective, generosity of spirit, and countless, sustained acts of love, compassion, and affection.  I believe that our fearsome foursome will continue to grow closer and more secure with every passing day as we keep our minds and hearts dedicated to this most important aspect of being a family.