Hoping Against The Odds

One year ago today I picked up the phone and after the customary pleasantries heard this simple sentence, “We found something.”  Just three little words, sixteen letters, that transformed my life.  In that surreal moment I began to morph from the mother of a child with correctable special needs into the mother of a child with permanent special needs.   Once my new reality set in, my perspective changed completely and I started hoping for things in a different way. 

I hope someday Rex tells me he hates reading because it would mean he’s learned to read.

I hope someday Rex comes home with a speeding ticket because it would mean he has learned to drive.

I hope someday I can think Rex’s girlfriend all wrong for him because it would mean he is in love.

I hope someday I can worry about how to pay the college tuition because it would mean Rex got accepted.

I hope someday Rex asks for help with the rent because it would mean he has moved out.

I hope someday Rex and I have a pointless discussion because it would mean he has learned to speak.

I hope someday to stop frequently for bathroom breaks because it would mean Rex is potty-trained.

I hope someday Rex will break his curfew because it would mean he’s out with his friends, having fun.

I hope someday to wish I could visit my grandkids more often because it would mean Rex is a dad.

I hope someday to see a stunned look of disbelief on the faces of so many doctors and specialists because it would mean Rex has blown their expectations out of the water.

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune - without the words,

And never stops at all.

Emily Dickinson